Ever since I read Wisdom Hunter by Randall Arthur in 1993-1995 for the first and second time, I have always been stopped by Psalm 13. There was a scene in the book where Yoma (a wise old man) led Jason (the main character) through this psalm. No matter how many times I read Psalms, I ponder this chapter because it made things so clear to me years ago and still does. Here is how it breaks down:
- Verse 1a: “How long, O Lord, will you forget me forever?” And yet...
- Verse 5a: “I have trusted in your steadfast love.”
- Verse 1b: “How long will you hide your face from me?” And yet...
- Verse 6b: “because he has dealt bountifully with me.”
- Verse 2a: “How long must I take counsel in my soul?” And yet...
- Verse 6a: “I will sing to the Lord.”
- Verse 2b: “How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? And yet…
- Verse 5b: “My heart shall rejoice in your salvation.”
The difference, or so-called discrepancy, is not in David’s words: it is in my perception. Plainly put: it is the difference between faith and feelings. In the first two verses David felt those things, but in the last two verses David knew (believed) God was somehow good. His perception based on his feelings were deceptive and incomplete; whereas reality was true: God was there. God was/is involved in David’s life.
He is in mine as well. While at times it may appear not to be so, perception/feelings lie. They don’t tell the whole story.
“Father, I can’t trust my feelings. They lie. They deceive. They are incomplete. The truth is You are way more than my feelings. You are way more than my perception. Help me to believe you, not trust in my feelings. Help me, like David, to believe.”
Tags: Faith/Feelings, Scripture look