My title for this devotion is Disillusionment vs Insight

When we are young our parents, who may be in their 30s, seem so old.  🙂 Now that I’m 66, those 30s seem so young! I admit to some nostalgia from time to time as I look back to my younger days as a pastor. I put an age out there…say 32…figure out where I was and try to picture me back then. I know. I know. Some might see it as an effort in futility but I can also see it as fun. True, there are times of disillusionment as I reflect on what I was like and what I did or did not do.

But it can also be a time of Insight. Even though I cannot change what happened and what I was like, I can see it as God’s way of moving in my life. You see, being my age affords a whole of introspection. I’ve thought about places I’ve been and things I’ve done and have decided I will not allow the disillusionment of disappointment to get me down but rather to allow the insight learned to raise me up.

Some observations:

1. I can regret any look back and bemoan the stupidity of mistakes made and wish I had known what I was going to do and where I was going to go.
2. I can be glad I didn’t know.  Would I have taken that ministry? Would I have regretted meeting that person? Would that decision I made change anything? Would I have ventured there if I had known how it would turn out?
3. What lessons (insights) can I learn that will help me now; in the future; and as a mentor?

There’s something to be said about old age. I’m in the twilight of my life and of my career. I can choose to see it as a descent into an abyss or I can see it as an ascent to new heights. Disillusionment or insight…which will it be?  There’s something to be said about Proverbs 16:31 and 20:29.

“Father, thank you for the wisdom of old age. As I reflect, let my reflection not get stuck on disillusionment but let it lead to new insights.”