Friendship

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August 22

Tuesday, August 22nd, 2023

It has been said that we are known by the company we keep. A wise man once wrote: “Do not make friends with a person given to anger, or go with a hot-tempered person, or you will learn his ways and find a snare for yourself.”  In case you don’t recognize it, that wise man is Solomon and the saying from Proverbs 22:24-25 (NASB2020). It’s from the Bible. You know…that outdated and irrelevant book. (Okay, so that comment was a bit snarky 🙂 )

The truth of that statement has been proven down through the years. All I need to do is give a word or initial or two and you can see how true it is. Nazis. KKK. Black Panther. Nation of Islam. SDS. El-Qaeda. CCS. PP. History is replete with subversive groups, groups with their own agenda, groups who have made their mark (not always good either). There wouldn’t be groups like this if there weren’t “like” thinkers. “Birds of a feather flock together” is what we will say.

The church should be made up of like-minded individuals. Not cookie cutters, but people with a common goal. People who desire to mold together as a unit to fight our real enemy, not each other, but the one who can kill the soul.

I read I Timothy 1 this morning. I was struck again by the Apostle Paul’s words to Timothy in verses 12-17. My short version is “I was that but now I’m this.” “I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and violent aggressor, but I’ve received mercy. I’m no longer the chief of sinners but an example of a changed life.” Paul was part of a saved family. His goals changed. The company he kept changed.

He was now known by the company he keeps, not kept. What was, is exactly that, was. He’d rather be known by his new company. Please remember we are known by the company we keep. The question remains: who will do the influencing?

August 17

Thursday, August 17th, 2023

“Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.” Proverbs 17:9 (ESV)

While many are quick to condemn lying, stealing, adultery, idolatry, homosexuality-you know…the so-called “big sins”- a pass is often given to another devastating and life-ruining sin: GOSSIP. I’m thinking more lives have been ruined by gossip than possibly all the others combined.

No, I’m not downgrading the severity of the so-called “big sins” in relation to a soul, but gossip is carried on regularly with seemingly no guilt.

The proverb above can be looked at two ways. One, it could involve me and another person. If someone does something to me, I could either choose to love and forgive, or spread to others what has been done. That other person and I will likely never again be close friends (if friends at all). 

Or two, I could be a witness to someone being hurt and spread the event with my tainted opinion. Again, instead of being one who helps others reconcile, I become the one who splits them.

James tells us the tongue is “a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” (James 3:8) We can talk about swearing and cursing, but gossip may be the cruelest of all.

Go by this: if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all. Keep the gossip to yourself.

August 15

Tuesday, August 15th, 2023

I heard about the death of a friend yesterday afternoon. This is my tribute; these are my thoughts.

As a pastor or over 50 years, I have had a lot of people cross my path and go in and out of my life. Most were of the pastor/sheep variety. Very few dropped the pastor/sheep moniker and became “friend.” I’ve had a few who reached that status; a few I would trust with my life; a few I would trust with personal information.

Ron was one of them. 12 years my senior, we became friends. He and Joyce “adopted” me and Jo and we spent a lot of time together. It would take pages to list all the things we did together as couples, and he and I as friends. I would need a getaway and the 4 of us would go to a hotel in Owensboro, KY for the weekend. One Friday night I ate so much I could not eat a bite until Saturday evening. One weekend we happened to be there when The Lettermen (Google them) entertained with a great concert. Ron was a diehard Cardinal fan and I a Pirate fan (but I didn’t hold that against him). The four of us traveled to St. Louis as well as Pittsburgh to watch ballgames. He loved to eat so he and I would often go out for lunch to simply laugh and eat. We golfed together. Let me rephrase that: he golfed; I chased my ball around the course. 🙂

One of the first funerals I performed as the pastor of the church was his mother’s. I also performed several weddings of his children.

Ron was deeply in love with Joyce. The last time the four of us were together was at a Cheddars restaurant and I knew something wasn’t right. Shortly after, Joyce was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and Ron lovingly cared for her until he could no more. But every day-even when she no longer knew him-he faithfully visited her in the facility. She eventually went to be with Jesus. He was lost without her and life was never the same.

Now it is his turn. He loved and served Jesus with his whole heart. Now he gets to hear the “Well done, good and faithful servant” that his wife of 42 years heard a few years ago. He is reunited with Joyce, his mother and father, and others who preceded him. What a great cloud of witnesses there had to have been!

I’ll pay my respects on Thursday at his visitation and funeral. I’ll tell his sons and daughter how much he meant to me. And I’ll tell him “See you later my friend.”  Never goodbye.

August 10

Thursday, August 10th, 2023

Recently, I witnessed a healing. No, not the kind you are probably thinking (although I wish I could in this case). Here’s the story:

In the past, Person B listened to the voices of others and told me to leave Person A as a friend and as a pastor.  He then turned his “guns” on Person A. He continued listening to the voices and sought changes which did not happen. A resignation happened and the “guns” were taken up by another. Meanwhile one of the voices was pretty much out of the picture. Again, changes didn’t happen and another abandonment happened.

In the meantime, Person B has come on hard physical times. Devastating actually. As Person B’s pastor, I made the conscious decision to forgive and made countless visits-many of them hours away-to minister and to bring healing. I truly believe God has been faithful in bringing the latter.

But what about Person A?

I make weekly visits to Person B to encourage, to pray, to laugh with, to offer communion (something he misses since we offer it weekly), and to share the amazing healing power of God in a relationship. My love for Person B and his family is real and I want them to know that.  I want him to know that.  In my visits I sometimes take others, friends from his past, to visit and hopefully encourage and let him know he is not forgotten. And to offer hope. I decided-with the wife’s blessing-to bring Person A with me some day. I saw God work!! Now, whether Person B even remembered the past I don’t know-such is his memory. But I saw Person A engage with Person B and his wife and offer some vital help where they have been stymied before.  What a phenomenal gift it would be if Person A can pull off the help he has offered!! I can’t speak for Person B’s feelings, although he did get emotional when Person A told him that he and his wife were praying for him. Person B’s wife, I think, was simply relieved someone was going to do something.

Mention healing and our immediate thoughts go to someone physically healed. Rarely do we think of emotional healing or relational healing. I witnessed both, especially in Person A. Personally? I think being witness to the relational healing does more good to my soul than all the physical healings I have seen God do (and I’m not speaking of the showy, TV, made up kind).

Somewhere angels were rejoicing, and the Father was smiling, as they witnessed “Forgive as you have been forgiven” come alive. I know I am.

August 2

Wednesday, August 2nd, 2023

There is a woman in the church I pastor whom I dearly love. She and her husband of over 50 years began attending after their daughter and son-in-law began months before them. They had attended another church for most of their married life. The hymns, pews, hymn books, and “church-like decor” was home to them. Through a series of circumstances, they began attending the church and I fell in love with them and their sweet spirit. It was hard for them to adjust. We don’t sing hymns or use hymn books. We have chairs not pews. Our building lacks church-like decor and has an industrial look. But they kept coming. He was once asked why they kept coming when it was hard to adjust to the differences. He said, “For the preaching. That man preaches the Word.” WOW! was I humbled by that.

Sadly, his health declined and several years ago he went to be with Jesus. She still comes and is a great encouragement. But I can see the hole in her heart, the loneliness, and every once in a while she will voice it. She is not flashy. She is not one who “works the room.” She is not “all over the place” personality-wise (unlike yours truly who knows no stranger).

She tickled me one Sunday. When she came it, I hugged her and said, “Good morning Jane (not her real name). How ya’ doing this morning?”

“Well…I’m vertical.”

I chuckled and said, “Well…I guess that is better than the alternative.”

There are different ways to look at that:

  • She’s awake not asleep.
  • She’s standing not laying.
  • She’s alive not dead.

Here’s another: Some people live horizontally, never giving thought to the vertical. Some live vertical, never giving thought to the horizontal. The former has no heavenly connection. The latter has little or no earthly connection. (So heavenly-minded they are no earthly good).

To my way of thinking we need both. We need the vertical connection with God, which in turn, affects our horizontal connection with people.

To put it another way: Love God. Love people.

July 25

Tuesday, July 25th, 2023

Our community is grieving. There is a lot said about living in a small town and not all of it is complimentary. The town I live in, Spencer, IN, is around 2300 people (depending, I suspect, on whom you talk to… 🙂 ). The county encompasses about 24,000 or so. People knocks small towns. “A lack of a night life.” “No place to hang.” “No business” (not true in our case as Cook Medical and Boston Scientific will attest). “No place to shop.” (Again, I beg to differ. We have one of the earliest WalMarts ever built I think. We call it our “itty bitty WalMart”). “No large church to attend.” (And that is a problem why?)

Sure, there are drawbacks. “Everyone knows everyone’s business.” (not really true actually). “Everybody gets up in your grill if you make a wrong move, get a divorce, etc.” (also not true)

But there are also big advantages. Think 2020 riots and protests. Nope. Think lock down. (to some extent but not nearly like the big cities). Think school curriculum. Think militancy. I think you get my drift.

Here’s another: our community is grieving.

This past Thursday evening, a high school senior died as a result of a one-car accident. Alcohol and drugs were not involved. No report has officially been made, but even then we don’t have the news hounds who are all over this story. But tonight for family, students, faculty, coaches, friends, neighbors, LEOs…all will be grieving as this young man is honored with a visitation and funeral at the local high school.  It will be a big one.

As chaplain of the Sheriff’s department, I know first hand how some have been affected. I know the young man who will be conducting the funeral, a relative of the family, and one who has become a friend. (He is bi-vocational). 

In September of 2011, Brett Wood was killed in Afghanistan by an IED. When his body was brought home to be buried just about the whole town turned out to line the streets in his honor. The procession went right by the church property which is on the outskirts of town and we suspended our worship service to line the highway to pay our respects.

I pastor a church in a small town. I’m proud of that and these are just two of the reasons why I would not want to be anywhere else nor have it any other way. And you know what? They may not even realize it, but they are practicing a Biblical principle. It’s true. I Corinthians 12:26 says, “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.”

Our community is grieving. But we will grieve together.

July 18

Tuesday, July 18th, 2023

David and Jonathan were friends. Best of. Soul mates as we might say. They were such good friends that it says “they loved each other.” There is nothing sordid or hidden there (unless you want to make it that way). I have a college friend and we still get together (over 50 years) and it is easy to say we are best friends. Nothing illicit and when we part after meeting for lunch 1/2 way between our towns with our wives in tow, we hug each other and say, “I love you my friend.”

Jonathan knew David was the heir to the throne, not him. There was no jealousy. Several times we have Jonathan “going to bat” for David in the presence of his father. What there was between them was a pact, a promise, David made to Jonathan. He promised he would always take care of Jonathan’s offspring.

Jonathan and his father, Saul, were killed in battle and when the news reached David he wept. What didn’t reach him at the time was that Jonathan had a son named Mephibosheth (M from here on). The news reached David many years later. But M was a special case. When news reached M’s nurse of Jonathan’s death, she ran, but in the process dropped M, and he ended up lame. He was 5 years old at the time. Years later David sent out men looking for any offspring of Jonathan and they found M in a place called Lo-Debar. He had M brought to the palace and gave him a lifetime presence at his table. Imagine going from nothing to everything all because of  a promise made years earlier!

Keeping promises is absolutely essential. If we cannot be trusted to keep promises, how can we be trusted? We should want to be known as “the keeper of our word.” We should want to be known as one who makes a promise and sticks by it.

There are some more lessons we can learn from this story. I plan to share those in tomorrow’s devotion. Until then…be a keeper of your word.

May 17

Wednesday, May 17th, 2023

I’m continuing my series of posts on the ladies spoken about on Mother’s Day by several of our ladies.

Lady #1- Mary of Bethany

Lady #2- Tamar

Lady #3- Sarah

Today is Lady #4: Lydia

What is it like to be successful? Further even: what is it like to be successful as a woman in a male-dominated society?

Hmmm. We could ask Lydia…if she was alive.  🙂 In Acts 16 we read of a woman named Lydia, a seller of purple goods (v.14).  Industrious. Hard worker. A worshiper of God. Just being a seller of purple goods was enough to show her success. She also had servants. She had a house. She opened her home to Paul and Silas. After their release from the Philippian jail, they stopped at Lydia’s house on the way out of town to see her and the others who met at her house.

It takes a lot to be successful. Sure, there are those who are born with a silver spoon in their mouth, but not for a women, especially in that day.  Lydia had to be industrious. She had to be innovative. She had to be unafraid. What is interesting to me is that she actually operated with a double whammy: she was female and a worshiper of God. One was bad enough, but with both of those “on her record”?  Man or woman being a worshiper of God often meant isolation and loss of income.

One thing she cannot be accused of is being lazy. The Bible calls it sloth. Think of a sloth and the first thing which comes to mind is the animal that does everything in slow motion…very slow motion. But consider this: sloth doesn’t just mean sitting around all day watching TV and eating junk food.  It also means indifference. Apathy. It’s like standing on a street corner and watching all things go by and not giving a rip.

We have too much of that going on in our society these days. If it doesn’t affect me and my circle, why should I care? An earthquake in Turkey or California? A tornado in Oklahoma or Texas? (Big difference when one lands in your own “back yard” as it did here less than 2 months ago). A flood in TN. A shooting in NYC (and elsewhere).  If it doesn’t affect me it is “out of sight out of mind.”

It is too easy to get apathetic when it doesn’t involve us or people we love. Lydia shows us the importance of hard work. Her concern for others and their spiritual lives (see in Acts 16:15), and her concern for Paul and Silas show us how important it is not to be self-consumed. Let’s not forget who we are and how to serve others.

Then we must might learn what true success is all about.

May 8

Monday, May 8th, 2023

Common in many news cycles is the passing along of what are called conspiracy theories. The past several elections (and I’m sure future ones) have been filled with them. They are on both sides of the aisle-R or D; conservative or liberal; cultish or mainstream; religious or non-religious.

Conspiracy theories are nothing new though. In the days of Jesus, one that was passed along by those who wanted to downplay or deny the resurrection was that the disciples had stolen the body (Check out Matthew 28:11-15). The religious leaders bribed the Roman guards to spread the rumor, i.e. conspiracy theory, the disciples has stolen the body. They even said they would straighten it out with the authorities.

Theories about the resurrection abound. The wrong tomb theory (the ladies went to the wrong tomb). The swoon theory (Jesus didn’t really die on the cross; He just passed out.  He then revived in the cold, dark tomb, mustered enough strength to roll the stone away, overpower the guards and walk away).  Wrong person theory (someone took His place on the cross and was mistaken for Jesus). Tell me: how ridiculous do those all sound? The conspiracies go on and on-ad infinitum, ad nauseum.

Unfounded “truths.” Gossip. Slander. Lies. Mean-spirited words. All are part of a subversive element that should not be, but is, in the church. Relationships and friendships cannot survive with that kind of garbage being present in individual lives, and especially in a church.

Let’s stick to the facts, the truth. Let’s not pay one bit of attention to political conspiracy theories. And certainly not give any credence to conspiracy theories that make their way into the church. THEY AIN’T WORTH IT!  Let’s leave the conspiracy theories where they belong…in the trash.

April 26

Wednesday, April 26th, 2023

Pete the Cat…Play Ball.

I suppose you might be wondering, “What in the world? Has Bill lost it?”  While some may have suspected that a time or two over the 70 years of my life, I have not. Least I don’t think so. 🙂   One thing I have learned is that lessons can be learned from a variety of places, people and events.  This past year I have had the A.B.S.O.L.U.T.E.L.Y.  most fun reading to the Kindergarten classes in our school district.  Five classes. Once/month. A different book each month. (The church’s youth pastor, Ryan, reads to two other classes).

This month was a read barn-burner-to the kids-but to me? Not so, but it wasn’t supposed to be. I mean, how excited can an adult get over a book read to Kindergarten kids about a cat? But the kids? They absolutely l-o-o-o-v-e Pete the Cat. They especially enjoyed Pete the Cat…Play Ball.

After I read I always try to draw out some lessons which come from the book. So…what did Pete teach them this time through?

  • Pete the Cat always tried his best. So should they. If their teacher has them working at their desk; if they are playing outside; if they are playing a game, they should always do their best.
  • Pete the Cat cheered his teammates on. The first batter got a hit and Pete yelled, “Way to go!” The batter after him (he struck out but tried his best) hit a home run. Pete yelled with a big cheer.
  • Pete’s team won. He high-fived the opposing team. The K-kids were quick to remind me they line up after the game and do that. They slap hands and say, “Good game” to their opponents.

I had fun reading and teaching the lessons, but their importance to me as an adult cannot be dismissed.

Do I always try my best or am I content with a lackluster effort? Do I look for shortcuts? Whether it is something I like doing or not, do I give my best effort?

Do I cheer others on with genuine support or am filled with envy and jealousy over another’s success? Do I see another’s efforts promoting the team or organization as good and not a threat to me? In my line of work (a pastor), am I happy to see Jesus promoted…no matter who does it?

Am I quick to high-five another’s success and not care who gets the credit? Competition in sports is good, but when someone becomes combative or cut-throat and resorts to cheating or gossip or back-biting, it spells the death of whatever good can be accomplished. I believe Ronald Reagan is credited with saying, “There is no telling how far an organization can go, and how it can succeed, if no one cares who gets the credit.”

Jesus once said, “If I be lifted up I will draw all men to me.” I realize He was speaking of His crucifixion, but it begs an action from me.  My motive should never be to promote myself, but to promote Him. Not doing my best; putting others down; taking the glory for myself, is not promoting Him or His work.

Let’s take it from Pete the Cat. Let’s leave the bad stuff behind and let’s promote each other, but most importantly, Jesus.