Affirmation and confirmation. Two peas in the same pod and yet, they can stand alone.

Many people cannot live their lives without one or the other and sometimes both. The subtle difference between the two is just that…very subtle. Affirmation seems to be more mental, i.e. “you like who I am and what I am doing so say something that will affirm me.” Confirmation is an approval that I have chosen the better road to take. That may be as clear as mud to you but perhaps I can use a biblical story to illustrate that.

In Mark 10: 35-45 is the story of James and John asking Jesus to grant that one of them sit on His right hand and the other on His left. I think it is significant that Jesus didn’t rebuke them. Instead, He used it as a teaching moment for His disciples.  He could have kicked them, read them the right act, belittled them in front of their friends, or something demeaning. He did nothing of the kind. Instead, as I said, He used it as a teaching moment.

Here it is: Glory isn’t gained through ruling but through serving, by taking the lowest place, not the highest.

Many times we do things to receive accolades, which in turn, gives us affirmation. If we don’t get that affirmation we are paralyzed-sometimes with demeaning thoughts we dream up ourselves or simply saying things like “They don’t appreciate me. They take me for granted.”  We crave those pats on the back. They are our bread and butter. And here’s the thing: when we don’t get the affirmation it often handcuffs us into inaction. I’m convinced that when that happens we are doomed, not as in dead, but into inaction.  We aren’t so sure any more of the direction we have chosen to go in.

Here’s another thought: as a follower of Christ I should not be tied to people’s affirmation of me as a sign of acceptance and approval. It has been said that “worship is an audience of One.” Perhaps living our lives each day should come down to that as well. I should not need the affirmation and approval of others to do God’s work.  As the servant love of Jesus captures us, we delight to pursue true greatness by being a servant, not by seeking the “right seat.”

We all long to live commendable and significant lives. No one wants to be sidelined. What we need to decide is will I live for the affirmation and approval of others, or for the abiding peace knowing I have God’s affirmation. That should be enough.