Death
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Wednesday, October 9th, 2024
Famous people born on October 9th. Tony Shaloub (OCD Monk). Jackson (“Doctor my eyes” & “Mr. Bojangles”) Browne. John Lennon (Ever heard of him?). Scott Bakula (Quantum Leap and Star Trek: Enterprise…See a pattern? NCIS: New Orleans). Sharon Osbourne (oh…yay). And others.
Famous people who died on October 9th: Oskar Schindler (a hero to many). Jacques Derrida & Che Guevara (I should be sad to them gone why?). And others.
One more: Me. 🙂 It is funny how perspectives change…but then again, they really don’t. Life is just looked at from different angles. When I was a young boy and my parents were in their 30s and my grandparents were in their 50s, I thought they were ancient. 🙂 As I aged, so did they. My mom had medical issues in her 40s that required surgery; my dad had a heart attack at 48; my grandfather had a knee replaced in his 70s. His job with USS and his bowed-legs did him in. I’ll soon be joining his club due to my own bowed legs and playing sports (especially basketball) way past my prime. My age and his are eerily close. My mom went to be with Jesus one month shy of her 72nd birthday from a rare form of lung cancer which struck woman who were non-smokers. My grandmother died of lymph node cancer. My grandfather lived to be close to 90. My dad died at 90 with Alzheimer’s.
All of that seems surreal when one is young and looking through the window. But, in time, that window becomes a mirror. At 72, I’m not ready to cash it in. I’m not ready to retire. I absolutely love what I do and don’t see myself doing anything else (especially being a Walmart greeter). 🙂 But I also realize my time is not in my hands. My favorite verses of the Bible are found in my favorite chapter: Psalm 37. They have sustained me and are my go-to verses. “Trust in the Lord and do good…Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you….Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act…Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper-it only leads to harm.” (verses 3-8). Verses 23-25 says, “The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand. Once I was young, and now I am old. Yet I have never seen the godly abandoned.” (NLT)
I, you, have no control over our future. My DeLorean can be packed and ready to travel but no time machine can change God’s plans and timing. Yes, I am 72. I have less years left than I have lived. But I know, while I have no control over how many, I do know I want to live them full tilt. While Jo wants me to retire, or at least slow down (to a crawl), that is not my plan…unless God says otherwise.
Have a full and blessed day my friends. I certainly plan to do so. As an old song once said, “The longer I serve Him the sweeter He grows.”
Posted in InTheShadow | 8 Responses »
Tags: Choices, Christian Living, Death, Full life, God, God's Plan, Ministry, Old age, Opinion, Perseverance, Reflection, Scripture look, Story, Thanksgiving, Worship
Tuesday, July 16th, 2024
One last devotion…(I think). 🙂
The past week or so of devotions here at “Shadow” I have been writing and telling you about a book that had a profound impact on me-Out of the Blue by Greg Murtha. (Those dates are July 9, 10, 11, and 15). At the age of 46, Greg, a healthy runner and athlete, go-to leader, husband and father, was stricken with Agressive Stage III Colon Cancer. He endured 95 chemo treatments over 5 years, but on June 22, 2017 he “moved to the front of the line” to use his words. He completed his book on June 15th in room 8637 of Vanderbilt University Medical Center’s CCU.
As I finished reading his book for the second time (the first I barely remember), I was overwhelmed with emotion. I shed some tears for a life well-lived, but also because it struck close to home. Not me. I just lost a friend to cancer and another has brain cancer. This book chronicling his thoughts and actions of the last 5 years of his life deeply and profoundly impacted me and caused me to stop and evaluate my own life.
I once read that Joni, the well-known Christ-follower who has been a quadriplegic for over 50 years, was once asked if she would change anything. She said, “No. I thank God for the accident and my wheelchair.” (edited by me). Several times Greg said virtually the same thing, i.e. he was thankful for the cancer that totally changed his life. It slowed him down. It woke him to the needs of others. It brought him to the point of listening to God. He would go for treatment, into a store, into a room and notice people most would miss-people who needed a hug, or who were hurting, had tears in their eyes, or simply needed a word of encouragement, or a prayer. And he was not ashamed to offer that.
He wrote the following:
“I’m learning that being present in the moment is what is important. Being the church wherever I am-that’s what matters. Listening to the prompting of the Holy Spirit is paramount to living a life of adventure.” (p. 160)
I’ll close by simply saying that I want that. Healthy or not I want to be present in the moment. I want to be the church, a representative of Christ, where I am and to whomever I come across. Will you join me?
Posted in InTheShadow | 4 Responses »
Tags: Choices, Christian Living, Death, God's Plan, Grace, Humility, Kindness, Life, Lifestyle, Love, Mercy, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection, Story, Suffering, Surrender
Monday, July 15th, 2024
“Every man dies. Not every man lives.” (William Wallace in Braveheart)
I can remember the first time I watched Braveheart. I was working my way through the book Wild at Heart by John Eldredge and I was being challenged to be really alive and how many men miss doing just that. I found myself reminiscing and asking myself if I had ever felt really alive. My answer is private but my reaction to the quote revolutionized how I looked at life from the point on. I have been posting about reading Greg Murtha’s book, Out of the Blue. In chapter 12, titled “My Final Chapter” Greg opened up with this blurb: When I check out of hotel Earth, please don’t say, ‘Greg lost his battle with cancer.’ That will not be the truth. No, when that time comes, when I get to the front of the line, it will be a point in time when I have never been more alive, and it will be an epic win.” (p.183)
39 year-old Dietrich Bonhoeffer, theologian and opponent of Nazism, had these last words: “This is the end. For me, the beginning of life.” (Murtha-p.188)
“A camp doctor who witnessed Bonhoeffer’s hanging described the scene: ‘Through the half-open door in one room of the huts, I saw Pastor Bonhoeffer, before taking off his prison garb, kneeling on the floor praying fervently to his God. I was most deeply moved by the way this lovable man prayed, so devout and so certain that God heard his prayer. At the place of execution, he again said a prayer and then climbed the steps to the gallows, brave and composed. His death ensued in a few seconds. In the almost 50 years that I have worked as a doctor, I have hardly ever seen a man die so entirely submissive to the will of God.'” (Murtha-p.188)
What gives Greg and what gives Bonhoeffer the ability to face death as they did? Perhaps you know of some who looked at death the very same way. On the other hand, I suspect we all know people who were fearful of death. In my over 50 years as a pastor I have seen both. And I would much rather see the one who has no fear of death. For the follower of Christ, death is the doorway to life.
When I die, I want the door swung wide open. I’m bringing my bike along (well…not literally). I certainly can’t dance so I hope He will let me ride. 🙂 I don’t want a mournful memorial; I want a celebration. While you are at it, take a moment to listen to this song.
Posted in InTheShadow | 8 Responses »
Tags: Choices, Christian Living, Death, Eternity, God's Plan, Opinion, Perseverance, Reflection, Story, Surrender
Tuesday, June 4th, 2024
Have you ever met someone whom you then know for years and don’t realize the impact you both have on each other? That is what happened to me back around 2006. One of the women in the church I pastor had a grandmother in a local nursing home. One day I went to visit her and in the process met her daughter. Her name was Carole.
Today, I have the privilege of conducting Carole’s funeral. Over the years my friendship with Carole deepened. I was there when her mother passed. I was there when her husband suffered from Parkinson’s and dementia and then passed. She attended another church in another town but that didn’t matter. After her husband of 50+ years passed, she began attending the church I pastor with her daughter and son-in-law. She was more traditional (hymns, suits and ties, etc) but she came anyway, until her health wouldn’t allow her. But I went to visit her in her home and would laugh and chat with her, and pray with her before I left. The past year or so had been one of excruciating pain and virtually being home bound, but she still had joy. (She made sure, even in the Hospice House bed, that we knew that before she became non-communicative).
Last Friday morning Carole met Jesus. I am convinced He met her with open arms. I suspect standing beside Him was her husband and her mother as part of the welcoming committee. Sure, there is speculation in what may actually happen, but it doesn’t matter. We can dream and speculate. But there is one truth that remains: Jesus has prepared a place for her-a mansion some call it-but I wouldn’t care if it was a shack. It’s a home in heaven.
My life is richer because of Carole. I have been told her life was richer because of me. I guess being asked to do her funeral is proof of that. 🙂 My last words to her when I left the Hospice House on Thursday (the day before her death) were “I love you Carole. I’ll see you later.”
I will.
Posted in InTheShadow | 8 Responses »
Tags: Death, God's Plan, God's promise, Heaven, Jesus, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection, Story
Monday, April 22nd, 2024
“Thanks for the memories.”
A lot can be said when you see the eyes close or the last breath taken as I did when my mother passed. Or a friend. While I did not actually see this happen, I was there within 5 minutes of it. Last Thursday, my friend of 30+ years-my cycling buddy, my laughing buddy, my friend-finally lost his 14 year battle with cancer. But those 14 years were full!
Jim was diagnosed with cancer and was put through the ringer. Surgery. Chemicals. Chemo (which is chemicals). Holistic approach. More chemo. But those 14 years-as were the year before-were filled with skiing, boating, scuba diving, cycling, hunting, fishing-the list seems endless. He once took a whole winter and worked two jobs. One as a paper salesman which he could do remotely, and the other as a hot tub “fixer” in Utah. That allowed him to ski almost daily. 🙂 Jim truly lived life to the max. It was 2-3 short months ago the cancer specialist told him there was nothing more they could do because while on chemo he still developed spots on his liver. It was literally all through him. Even then he lived bravely. I was able to drive the 150 miles to visit him every other week for 8 weeks. Last Thursday, which I figured would probably be my last visit, Jo and I were 5 minutes away from his home when Tina, his wife, called to say Jim had just passed away. 5 minutes! But now my reason to visit changed. It changed from reminiscing and encouraging my friend to consoling a hurting wife.
Jim would have wanted it that way. His cremains will be spread outdoors because, again, it was a picture of his life. The late Tim Hansel wrote a book called You Gotta Keep Dancin’ (@1985). Tim also live life to the fullest even after a mountain climbing accident led to a lifetime of excruciating pain. He closed out his book with this little ditty:
There is no box made by God nor us but that sides can be flattened out and the top blown off to make a dance floor on which to celebrate life. (Kenneth Caraway)
Jim danced. Jim is dancing. He knew Jesus. “Thanks for the memories my friend.”
And now to you. What kind of memories will you leave behind?
Posted in InTheShadow | 8 Responses »
Tags: Death, Friendship, Influence, Legacy, Opinion, Reflection, Story
Monday, October 16th, 2023
“While there is breath, there is hope.”
I read that this morning. How appropriate. This past weekend we (Jo, Tami and I) traveled to Ohio to see our daughter/sister, Janna, and our grandson/nephew, Braden. While there we received a call (Thursday) from the dialysis center that Jo’s sister, who is in a nursing home with diabetes, dementia, and other maladies, had suffered what they thought was angonal breathing (Google it). They took her to the ER and admitted her. From that point we were 2+ hours away. From our home in Indiana we are 6-7+ hours away. Long story short, they believe she actually had some type of seizure and then admitted her that night to the ICU with another one. We received word yesterday afternoon (Sunday) they were releasing her to the nursing home.
“While there is still breath, there is hope.”
Vicki has lived a long life (74 years). Not so a 5 year old boy named John (named changed). John has had a glioblastoma since sometime in 2022. (Sorry the exact date escapes me). Long past the expected lifespan, John continues to fight as do his parents and doctors. As do I. Only my fight is the prayer version. I will pray until John breathes his last breath…or me. It would thrill me if my last breath was before his.
What a testimony it would be if John was healed. Only God knows, of course. Only God decides when each of us will die. He does not heal everyone, least not physically here on earth. But He has promised a great retirement plan for those who love Him, and especially children. Psalm 139:16 says, “Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” (ESV). Our days are known only to Him.
“While there is breath, there is hope.”
Thank you to Lori Hatcher. That statement was from her book Refresh Your Hope published by Our Daily Bread.
Posted in InTheShadow | 10 Responses »
Tags: Christian Living, Death, Life, Opinion, Prayer, Reflection, Scripture look, Suffering, Thanksgiving
Monday, September 25th, 2023
Bryan Johnson is sad.
Not sad as in “Boo-hoo” sad. Not the “cry-me-a-river” type of sad.
But sad as in the “clueless” department.
So you might be wondering, “Who in the world is Bryan Johnson?” (No, I am not talking about the lead singer of AC/DC. Besides, he spells his name with an “i.”) You can Google his name or you can take my word for it in my short synopsis. Bryan was a tech millionaire who sold his BioHacking company to PayPal for $800million. Yeah, you read that right. That’s not a bad thing. I don’t begrudge that at all. More power to him.
Here’s what is sad. Bryan Johnson is on a quest for immortality. You read that right: I.M.M.O.R.T.A.L.I.T.Y. To accomplish that he has some strange habits. He takes 111 pills a day. He goes to bed every night at 8:30 and is up by 6:00. There is nothing in his bedroom besides his bed, except a laser face shield that shoots collagen into his face, and one unmentionable item I’ll let you research. He avoids the sun. He doesn’t go out at night. He drives 16 mph (He would be one who would put me in an early grave if I was following him). He has multiple other habits.
I’ve seen stickers on trucks that say, “Silly boy.Trucks are for girls!” I want to say to Bryan, “Silly Bryan. Immortality is for One.” He believes at age 46 (which he is as I write this) that he has a heart of a 37 year old and the bones of a 30 year old. His goal is to be 18…and to live forever.
Sadly, he is moving in the area of F.U.T.I.L.I.T.Y. There is only ONE who has conquered death and it isn’t and won’t be Bryan.
I hope Bryan learns soon enough, i.e. sooner than later, that he is wasting his time and $2million/year for nothing. Envious? Not a bit. One half of what he is spending is more than I’ll make my entire lifetime. Personally, I hope he learns the lesson of the rich man that Jesus taught about in Luke 12. It says the land of the rich man produced plentifully so he thought to himself, “What shall I do? I know. I’ll build bigger barns. You know…eat, drink and be merry.” But that night God said to him, “You fool! This night your soul is required of you.” What good was his money then?
I sincerely hope Bryan learns sooner than later that one thing is certain: we all die. He won’t cheat that. His money will not get him out of the one date we all will keep. No concoction will save him. There will come a day when Bryan will go the way of all of us. I just hope he finds out before it is too late.
To die in his lost condition? Now that would be sad.
Posted in InTheShadow | 8 Responses »
Tags: Death, God's Plan, Miscellaneous, Opinion, Reflection, Salvation, Scripture look, Story, Truth Telling
Wednesday, August 23rd, 2023
Today is an interesting day. I have some things planned that will make for a busy day But it is also a day of nostalgia.
First, it is my youngest daughter’s birthday. I won’t tell you how old she is because that would give you a hint of how old I am. 🙂 (For the record: 70). I also will NOT give her age since I was always taught you never ask or volunteer a woman’s age. She doesn’t read this so I could say anything I wanted and she would never know! However, I won’t do that because you all would be like, “Oh man, cut the syrupy, ‘I’m-so-proud-of-her’ stuff.” I mean, just because she has survived and is a great mom to my favorite grandson and that I am so proud of the lady she has become, why should you have to weave through all of that? Right? Happy Birthday to my #2 daughter (in age since I love them both equally).
Second, Jo and I attended the second funeral visitation in a week. This time it was probably the first friend Jo had (and they remained that for 13 years) when we moved to Terre Haute until we moved away in 2000. However, when we were able to see them, it was like we were never gone for the two ladies. Myrna was a godly woman whose love for God, her husband, two children and multiple grandchildren never waned. Even after Alzheimer’s hit her 3 years ago. We stood in line for close to 2 1/2 hours to see Randy, Ryan, and Cassidy (Janna’s first best friend in TH).
Pastor Greg Laurie wrote in his devotion book, Everyday with Jesus, about the word “depart” found in Philippians 1:23. The Apostle Paul wrote, “My desire is to depart and be with Jesus, for that is far better.” The word depart has some interesting pictures.
- One it means “to strike the tent” or “to break camp.” It’s like wilderness camping (which I have never done) and you can’t wait to get a shower. 🙂 (Now you know why I have never camped that way. MacGyver I’m not).
- Two, a prisoner being released from chains. Myrna is no longer chained to a failing body or mind.
- Three, it was used to used to describe untying a boat from its moorings prior to setting sail.
I don’t need to apply those. You can do that. Heaven is better by far. Those words lead to that conclusion.
An interesting day of nostalgia for sure. The high of a daughter’s birthday. The sense of loss but the “high” of a friend’s homegoing and release from this body of death. That is better by far.
Posted in InTheShadow | 10 Responses »
Tags: Birthday celebration, Death, Friendship, God, Homegoing, Love, Opinion, Reflection, Scripture look, Story
Tuesday, August 15th, 2023
I heard about the death of a friend yesterday afternoon. This is my tribute; these are my thoughts.
As a pastor or over 50 years, I have had a lot of people cross my path and go in and out of my life. Most were of the pastor/sheep variety. Very few dropped the pastor/sheep moniker and became “friend.” I’ve had a few who reached that status; a few I would trust with my life; a few I would trust with personal information.
Ron was one of them. 12 years my senior, we became friends. He and Joyce “adopted” me and Jo and we spent a lot of time together. It would take pages to list all the things we did together as couples, and he and I as friends. I would need a getaway and the 4 of us would go to a hotel in Owensboro, KY for the weekend. One Friday night I ate so much I could not eat a bite until Saturday evening. One weekend we happened to be there when The Lettermen (Google them) entertained with a great concert. Ron was a diehard Cardinal fan and I a Pirate fan (but I didn’t hold that against him). The four of us traveled to St. Louis as well as Pittsburgh to watch ballgames. He loved to eat so he and I would often go out for lunch to simply laugh and eat. We golfed together. Let me rephrase that: he golfed; I chased my ball around the course. 🙂
One of the first funerals I performed as the pastor of the church was his mother’s. I also performed several weddings of his children.
Ron was deeply in love with Joyce. The last time the four of us were together was at a Cheddars restaurant and I knew something wasn’t right. Shortly after, Joyce was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and Ron lovingly cared for her until he could no more. But every day-even when she no longer knew him-he faithfully visited her in the facility. She eventually went to be with Jesus. He was lost without her and life was never the same.
Now it is his turn. He loved and served Jesus with his whole heart. Now he gets to hear the “Well done, good and faithful servant” that his wife of 42 years heard a few years ago. He is reunited with Joyce, his mother and father, and others who preceded him. What a great cloud of witnesses there had to have been!
I’ll pay my respects on Thursday at his visitation and funeral. I’ll tell his sons and daughter how much he meant to me. And I’ll tell him “See you later my friend.” Never goodbye.
Posted in InTheShadow | 8 Responses »
Tags: Death, Friendship, Miscellaneous, Reflection, Story, Tribute
Monday, April 3rd, 2023
I’m writing this Sunday morning. The reason for that is found at the end.
April 1st is typically called April Fool’s Day. That usually gives people the “oomph” to do something or some things silly to trick someone else. Sort of like “You have won a million dollars!” but not really. Well, April 1 turned out to be not so much of a joke in my neck of the woods. Extreme weather passed through our area and at 10:30 Friday night (March 31) the sirens went off indicating a tornado had been spotted and was headed our way. Jo and I were already asleep when Tami came into our room to wake us up (she hates storms so was still up. Plus she stays up way later than her old parents). 🙂 Anyway, she came in to wake me up and so we all sat in the living room ready to head to the bathroom in case of a tornado. Very soon all power went out and it was dark as midnight without any moon or stars shining. We were able to see by flashlight and the lights on our phones. As I sat there it suddenly got deathly quiet and then it sounded like a freight train was going over us. One man said he went outside and could see the tornado in the clouds. Fortunately, it passed over our town. The damage to town was plenty of uprooted trees and some damage to houses (roof, siding, and some tree damage to roofs), but they were not so fortunate at McCormick’s Creek State Park (state park just outside the town of Spencer). The campground in the park took a major hit that sheered trees, uprooted many (and I’m talking huge trees), turning over campers and destroying property. As chaplain for the Owen County Sheriff Department, I was called to the park Saturday night where there were two confirmed deaths. (The family said they were Christians. If so, death is victory, but no easier to take when it is sudden).
I have ridden my bike through the park several times. Tall majestic trees brought a natural beauty to the park. The campground-for both glamping and roughing it-was a wonderful place to spend a weekend or a week. Lots of shade and peaceful visits with family and friends. Not any more. It looked like someone has taken a saw and cut down tree after tree and broke off the tops like one would with a toothpick.
I stood in awe and “fear” of the power of nature and the power of the storm. But I also could not help but reflect on the creative power of God. There will be people questioning-always has been and always will be-why God did not stop the tornado from the park. Yes, He could have. Without a doubt. But He didn’t. Not this time. But that does not mean He isn’t God. He is still the God of the storm and wind and rain and sun. “The heavens declare the glory of God and the earth shows His handiwork” is the way the psalmist put it in Psalm 19:1. Genesis 1:1 tells us “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.” It is all His design.
The trees will eventually come back. Many will be leveled. Many new ones will be planted. My heart breaks, not for the park, but for the folks who lost loved ones. As I texted several people who had minimal damage to their property: things can be replaced; people can’t.
Last night I wore a badge to be part of the “bad news” club. I knew it was a possibility when I became chaplain. Chaplain or pastor it is never easy, especially when you don’t know the people and can offer comfort but know they won’t take it from a stranger. So pray for the family (I don’t know their name but God does), and pray for the first responders who had to find, work to get them out from a collapsed camper, and for those who witnessed it.
The God who made the heavens and the earth and the storms also knows who they are. Thanks.
Jo and I left Sunday afternoon for a real short visit to Ohio. Her sister is now on kidney dialysis and her birthday is also tomorrow (Tuesday). We will be staying in Columbus where our daughter and grandson live, then head up to see her (she will probably not remember who we are) on Monday. Prayers for a safe trip are much appreciated. Unless something major “inspires” me, I will not be posting tomorrow.
Posted in InTheShadow | 10 Responses »
Tags: Death, God, God's Plan, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection, Story, Suffering
