C.S. Lewis once wrote:
Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought that no one but myself…’ (Unbroken Faith-Kim-p.112)
That quote stuck with me as I continued my reading through the book Unbroken Faith by Diane Dokko Kim. Oftentimes when we are going through a tough time, a trial, an event where we feel alone, we come upon someone who either knows exactly what we are experiencing or just chooses to be a friend. Lewis’ quote speaks of that first thought: someone who has gone or is now going through what we are experiencing. It could be a loss of someone we love-a spouse, a child, a parent, a ministerial colleague, a pastor, or someone else close to us. Suddenly there is a bond that develops between two people over the commonality of grief. Just when we feel overwhelmed with stress or grief or some other emotion, we meet someone who says, “I know.” I am sure you have heard it said that those who understand the most are those who have struggled with the same thing. No one understands, for example, the alcoholic like the alcoholic. No one understands the pull of addiction like the former addict. And no one understands the weight of grief like the one who has been through it. When Lewis wrote his book, Grief Observed, it came after he lost his wife Joy to cancer. He was devastated as anyone who has been through can well understand. in 2024 I read multiple books on dementia and came to that same conclusion. The most effective ones were not the clinical ones with all the stats and medical jargon, but the one who said, “I have been there. I have watched a spouse or someone I love go through that.”
Mrs. Kim has a son who is severely autistic. Not just on the spectrum by a “hair” but one who is full bore on it. She writes from her pain and experience of isolation, of hand-wringing from confusion, from heart-wrenching and gut-wrenching reality of “I’m at my wit’s end.” {Spoiler alert: she always comes back to writing about unconditional love for son. She never gives up on him}. That doesn’t mean, though, that she doesn’t need a friend, someone who can walk through the valley with her. She found some and it sustained her. She found out a universal need we ALL have: she was not alone. She found it in two ways: one, through friends; and two, through knowing God was always walking with her.
I once heard and have used the statement: “No man is an island.” No truer words were spoken when we think about our need for friends. Be one. Find one. I’ll be one if you need one: long-distance or close by. Meanwhile, today begins a grueling two day experience of walking through the memorial of the young lady I wrote about two days ago who lost her life in a 2 car collision. Your thoughts and prayers would be much appreciated.
