Empathy

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November 28

Tuesday, November 28th, 2023

I found myself saying quite a few times this past month during my sermons that “we have been blessed to bless others.” (Sure is different than that clap-trap of the health/wealth people who bless themselves with planes, mansions, cars, etc). What has been given to us in the way of material blessings was never intended on being kept to ourselves or to enrich our lives. Being selfish is never a fun thing to see or to experience.

The same can also be said about something else: being hurt. When we are hurt-either by God (so we think) or by someone else-one of several reactions takes place: 1) we scream and shout in anger; 2) we “hole up” or withdraw within ourselves. We become almost numb to the world; or 3) we use that pain to help others. The first two are often out go-to reactions. “This pain is so deep the only person to blame is God. If not, then you, the one who caused it.” Or as I’ve mentioned, to withdraw in numbness, wondering if this pain will ever go away.

The third option is the best and preferred reaction. Instead of wallowing in anger and self-pity or misery, use this experience to help someone else. There is a saying” “Hurting people hurt people” and sadly, that is true. Childhood trauma acted out later is a perfect example of that. But let’s flip flop that:

Hurting people help people

Hurting people can turn their hurt and agony and pain and distress into empathy for others. Instead of turning inward and focusing inwardly, turn that pain outward and let your hurt minister/help someone else. Allow your life lessons-and if you are a follower of Jesus the lessons the Holy Spirit is teaching you through the Word and others-to make your heart sensitive to other hurting people.

I’ve noticed one HUGE gain from that: focusing on others-helping others-helps ease your own pain and aids in healing. If nothing else, the joy you feel from helping someone else is worth the effort. Don’t waste pain. Use pain to see another through different eyes.

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On Sunday morning, Jo’s sister went to be with Jesus. She has been in a nursing facility with diabetes, kidney dialysis, and dementia which went into full bore Alzheimer’s. It was a blessing in more ways than one. We leave this morning for Sandusky, OH to meet tomorrow with the nursing home and the funeral home (all arrangements were made a couple of years ago) and the graveside committal is Thursday morning. Following the service we plan to head to Columbus, OH to see our daughter and grandson. We will be back home Friday. You can pray for safe travels and you can pray for a smooth transition for all Jo needs to take care of.  I am not sure about posting any devotion over the next few days. It will depend on my availability. Thanks.

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September 7

Thursday, September 7th, 2023

I was thinking this morning about the seeming coldness of so many people. Even those who are so-called “social justice warriors” are, when you come right down to it, often in it for themselves. They have a social agenda they want to accomplish-whether it be racial, environmental, lifestyle, or even religious. Instead of truly caring for people, many “front” their agenda with fake concern, fake activism. Whether it be for money, fame, a name, or an agenda, they truly don’t care for others.

How different from what the Bible says is true caring. Just a couple of Scriptures show that. Before I do though, let me add this: there is a big-no make that gigantic-difference between sympathy and empathy. Sympathy says, “I’m sorry” but does nothing. It reminds me of that annoying boy in Polar Express who says, “I’m sorry. I really am” but you get the feeling of “not really.” Empathy, on the other hand, truly feels sorrow but then does two things: 1) puts oneself in their place; and 2) does something about it.

Now for the Scripture…and trust me when I say no commentary will be needed. In I Corinthians 12, after speaking about how each member of the body-hand, foot, ear, eye, nose-need each other, Paul concludes with these words: “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” (verse 26 in ESV).

The other Scripture is found in James 2. James discusses favoritism (rich vs poor) in the church assembly by giving favored seats; partiality in morality (overlooking one sin for another sin); and then he hits my point: “If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace, be warmed and filled,’ without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.” (Verses 15-17 in ESV)

No racial, environmental, or social agenda. Just a faith agenda: one where feet are put to our faith. Empathy, not just sympathy, is the calling card of a life of faith.

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April 25

Tuesday, April 25th, 2023

I’ve had my share of accidents. Besides the common everyday kind, like stubbing a toe and watching it make putting on a shoe or even walking difficult. Or like bending over and hitting my head on the way back up (that happens a lot when one is 6’5″ and his wife is barely 5’3″).

But I’ve also had my share of the more serious kind. Being hit while riding my bike in 2016 and then watching the hit-n-run driver just take off as I laid on the pavement. (It is mixed bag. I’m so grateful nothing was coming, but at the same time they may have seen the person never stop).  Three months later going over the handlebars while going downhill and breaking a collarbone, 3 ribs, and leaving a bunch of skin on the pavement. (I also split my helmet in three places. So grateful for that helmet which I won’t ride without). I eventually had back surgery to take a bone chip off a nerve. I’ve had a meniscus taken care of and have been told I need a knee replacement.  That was 6 years ago. I’m holding out till my death. 🙂

But mine are minor to the life-altering ones like cancer, heart issues, MS, Parkinson’s, and others. I spoke with someone recently whose life and plans have been turned upside down with a cancer diagnosis and a congenital heart issue she knew nothing about.

Suffering is hard to take. Understanding it is sometimes even harder. To simply say, “God allows suffering” doesn’t cut it with most people. But there is one thing that is true: God allows suffering and brings comfort so that we might have empathy for someone else. In fact, I told this person that I, obviously, have no way to know why this has come her way, but I do hope she will see others and give them the same comfort and hope and spiritual help she has received. Nothing is wasted. No lesson is to be kept to oneself. God does comfort us, but it is not just for us, but for others. We are to be a comfort to others.

Don’t wallow in self-pity or keep the lessons you are learning to yourself. Encourage others to keep going and to cling to Jesus as they do.

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