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April 14

Monday, April 14th, 2025

Start With Why. That is the name of a book by Simon Sinek that sits on my desk saying, “Read me! Read me!” 🙂 After reading multiple books on leadership for the first two months of the year, I needed to take a break. Sinek’s book was one that hit the “put off till later” batch.  From the back cover are the following words: “Any person or organization can explain what they do; some can explain how they are different or better; but very few can clearly articulate why. WHY is not about money or profit-those are the results. WHY is the thing that inspires us and inspires those around us.” 

As I have mentioned in previous posts, I am rereading Glynn Young’s Dancing Priest series. I just finished Book #3 and have started #4. In Book #3 (known as the Dancing King) Michael Kent-Hughes has assumed the throne of England. But not before efforts were made by adversaries to thwart that happening. In Book #2 an almost successful attempt was made upon Michael’s life, as well as his pregnant wife, Sarah, and their unborn baby. We were introduced to Michael’s brother, Henry in Book #1 and saw him take a more active role in Michael’s life in Book #2. As part of what was known as The Violence where the attempt was made on Michael’s and Sarah’s lives, Henry life was also affected. In his effort to know more about his brother, Michael found out Henry had been a practicing homosexual but had taken part in a church’s Exodus Ministry. As Michael learned more, the priest of St. Margaret’s church said this to Michael: “The struggle became worse once the two of you had met. He found that, far from rejecting him, you had opened your arms to him. He described it something like this, that all of his adult life he had people who wanted him for his wealth, for his position, for what they thought they could get from him, or for his body, but that you, the brother he had forced away so many years ago, you wanted him simply for himself. At first, he found it hard to believe. Then you invited him to stay with you in San Francisco. And he discovered that you loved him with a heartfelt, brotherly love, and asked nothing of him other than to be with him.” (p.120) 

All that to say: people know when we are with them to get something or to just be with them for them. The WHY question is huge. I guess I can’t really stop people from wanting something from me, but I can make sure my motives are pure when I am with others. It should not be for what can they give me or what I can get from them, but to simply enjoy their friendship and presence.  I love being with people who want nothing from me but to my friend and visa versa.

How about you?

{There is more coming from Book #3 but you really ought to read the whole series} 🙂

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March 27

Thursday, March 27th, 2025

A person simply cannot live without hope. If you take away hope, you take away a reason to go on. 

Recently I have gorged myself on Leadership books, particularly those by Jon Gordon, Patrick Lencioni and James Hunter. I have one by Simon Sinek sitting in my stack to read next. But earlier this week, I had reached my fill and thought to myself that I needed something else to read to eventually renew my focus on leadership. So I began to go book by book in my library to see what either struck my eye or maybe one I needed to read again for a refresher course. My eyes stopped at a book by the late J.I. Packer and Carolyn Nystrom called Never Beyond Hope. It was published in 2000 and it is hard telling how long I have had it. I have an original hardback so I think it is safe to say a long time. When I opened it to glance through it I realized I had no markings in it, which means I have never read it. So with Resurrection Sunday on its way and the hope that springs eternal from that day, I decided to give it a try. The subtitle of the book is How God Touches and Uses Imperfect People.  I thought that certainly sounded like me so it appeared to be a good choice. 🙂

Packer writes the following in his Introduction: “While there’s life there’s hope, we say, but the deeper truth is that only while there’s hope is there life.”  Read that slowly again. I once heard it said, “”A man can live three days without water, 40 days without food, but only five minutes without hope.”  In other words, take away hope and a person has nothing to live for. Hope springs eternal is what we are told. Well, what happens when hope is lost?  I believe that is exactly one of the reasons why the suicide rate is climbing higher with each passing day.  Take away hope and all that is left is a mere existence, often characterized by painful memories, unmet expectations, and unrealized dreams. And, of course, when those are the thoughts the next question is, “What do I have to live for?” 

My heart aches and breaks for people who have come to the end of their rope and see no way out. I wish they could see there is hope and there is a way out. Even though their situation looks impossible and unavoidable and desperate, there is ONE who has open arms and a big shoulder. He is the same one who said, “I have come that they might have life and have it to the full.” (John 10:10).

Please keep your eyes open today (and everyday) for those who are hurting, for those who seem to have it all together on the outside, but inside they are a weeping mess. You just may be the person who brings someone back from the brink, and along with you, can give praise to the ONE who gives life meaning and hope.

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March 17

Monday, March 17th, 2025

“A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.” (Proverbs 17:17)

My friendship pool is small. Jim is in heaven. One lives in Martinsville, IN. A longtime college friend lives in KY.  Then there is Dave. He and his wife flew in on Thursday and fly out tomorrow evening to return to Arizona. I met Dave almost 10 years ago. I am a cyclist and was plowed into by a hit-and-run driver one sunny November afternoon. His mirror hit my left hip leaving me sprawled on the road watching helplessly as he never once tapped a brake light nor slowed down. And yes, I do believe it was on purpose. I can tell you what he was driving (an early model Ford Escape) but I was unable to get his license plate nor take a picture. That is when I met Dave. We instantly bonded over an organization he led called 3 Feet Please. But then that bond went deeper. We began corresponding by text, email and even phone calls and soon he made arrangements to come visit. The bond of friendship was almost so instant my wife says it is like we are “brothers from different mothers.”

Time has deepened our friendship. Rides for the MS Society gave us time to spend together on the bike. He lost a dear friend (Lynn) while on an MS ride when an elderly driver plowed into a pack of riders. His wife, Susan, also a lovely lady in her own right, encouraged his involvement in Lynn’s family’s life as well as pursuing 3 Feet Please as much as possible. Dave became an advocate to make it a law in all 50 states to allow 3 feet between a vehicle and a cyclist. So far, most states have passed some type of law; some even passing a 4 feet law. With my experience of being hit, and Dave’s passion for safe cycling, we collaborated with several Indiana legislatures to get Indiana to pass a 3 Feet law. 

In February of 2024, Jo and I were their guests in Arizona. It was a first for both of us. We visited Sedona, Scottsdale (where we met a blogging friend of mine), the Grand Canyon, as well as Gilbert (their home) and surrounding communities. Other than our trip to Daytona Beach in 2017 (a timeshare gift) and Alaska in 2019 (a gift of some in the church), it was the first time we had a true vacation with no agenda except relax. It was an oasis for us!!

He is now battling brain cancer (diagnosed within a week or so of our trip in 2024) and I am cherishing every moment he, Susan, Jo and I are spending together. No question things are different. His stamina is not what it used to be.  We have eaten out; laughed; eaten out; gone to church together (they normally watch online only this time was in person); and eaten out. I feel intense workouts and watching my diet coming in the near future. 🙂

Dave is my friend and I don’t take that lightly. He is, as Jo says, my brother from a different mother. I’m glad he’s here.  Do you have someone you can call a friend?

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March 6

Thursday, March 6th, 2025

“Forgive as you have been forgiven.” We hear that quite often, more often than we might like! 🙂 But whether you are a Christ-follower or not, forgiveness is one of those non-negotiables that we all must face and need to do. Last night in my Wednesday Night Conversations class we talked about the common lie we hear: “I could never forgive that person.” I would like to share with you 6 common lies we will hear when it comes to forgiveness. The main thoughts come from 9 Common Lies Christians Believe by Shane Pruitt. The editorial comments are mine. 

  1. Forgiveness means you have to forget. Think about the fallacy of this. Something bad has happened in the past or just happened to you. Does that mean you must forget what happened? There is a thing called PTSD that many military vets suffer from. I think many ordinary people do as well, especially when a traumatic event has happened.
  2. Forgiveness mean you have to be a doormat. Yeah…I’ll just let that person or others walk all over me. There comes a point where you must say, “Enough is enough.”  Some relationships are toxic and need cut off.
  3. Forgiveness means you are condoning the actions of others. “If I forgive, am I saying that what they did is okay?” No. No. And No.
  4. Forgiveness means we will be close friends again. As if… In Psalm 41 David laments the betrayal of a friend. Sometimes keeping someone at a distance or arm’s length or even removing them from your life is necessary. Can you be friends again? Possibly. But very carefully and very slowly. Nobody in their right mind will just accept a person back into their lives like it once way. But sometimes…No.
  5. Forgiveness comes from an apology. Some people feel, “Hey, I said I was sorry. That should be enough.” Apologies are not always sincere. Some are said in the heat of the moment or to salve guilt.
  6. Forgiveness is easy. And you were born under what rock? Forgiveness is neither easy nor hard. It is impossible. It is natural for us to hold feelings of bitterness, hurt, anger (to name a few). Forgiving someone can only be supernatural. It comes from God. I can tell you this: refusing to forgive and holding these feelings in is not healthy spiritually or physically.

There you have it. The only question to ask is “How are you doing in the forgiveness department?”

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February 13

Thursday, February 13th, 2025

Everyone needs a pick-me-up from time to time. Whether it be a kind word or an arm around the shoulder or a heartfelt handshake or a hug, sometimes ya just need one. You know?

Church people are no different. Unless they are wired cockeyed, no one wants to come on Sunday to be screamed and yelled at and made to feel worse than when they arrived. Even when the topic of sin is preached on it can be done in such a way that people aren’t made to feel lower than a snake. I believe it was D.L. Moody who once said, 

“No preacher should preach on hell without tears in his eyes.” 

That is my philosophy. I am not a screamer and a yeller from the pulpit. I don’t even do that at ballgames, let alone from the pulpit. It accomplishes absolutely NOTHING, except making people feel really bad.

So I began the practice of leaving them with a Scripture. I got tired of finishing preaching, praying, then saying, “Have a good week!”  That is when I hit on the idea (with a little help from a book I was reading at the time) to close with the time-long-gone-by-tradition of a benediction. But not just from my lips. I pray, then have the congregation read it along with me from the screen in front of them. The most common one I use is from Numbers 6:24-26 (It was in our Scripture reading from Everyday Gospel Devotional for today). This is from the New Living Translation:

May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you His favor and give you His peace.

After we have all said that passage, I simply look at them and say, “Thanks for being with us today. Go with Him this week” or something to that effect. It gives people something to remember, something to identify with, and hopefully, something to carry with them during the week. The original passage was given to Moses to pass along to Aaron in order to bless the people.

May I encourage you to repeat that Scripture to yourself before you walk out your door or begin your work day? May you be blessed today with the awareness of His presence in all you do.

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February 6

Thursday, February 6th, 2025

“God gained another angel.”

What a horrible, horrible and cold-hearted way to respond to someone who has lost a loved one, especially a child! Those were our sentiments last night.

Let me explain: on Wednesday night I have what I call Wednesday Night Conversations. It’s just a gathering of whoever wants to come and sit around and discuss issues and try to find Biblical answers to those issues. I am using 9 Common Lies Christians Believe by Shane Pruitt as my basis for the conversations. The previous conversation was “God won’t give you more than you can handle.”  Last night’s was “God gained another angel.”

We will often hear that statement used during a funeral, especially by people who are trying to find something to say to parents who lost a child. I know those who say those words are only trying to be helpful and sympathetic, but it simply is not true. And to be brutally honest, the ones who lost that child or that loved one DO NOT want to hear that God wanted their child more than they did. I have stood beside parents whose child passed away or was stillborn or miscarried after month’s inside the mother’s womb and those are not words they want to hear. At those times the only words I found to say was “I’m sorry and if I could take away your pain I would.” More often than not all I could offer was an arm around the shoulder or a shoulder to cry on or a chest to beat on if they wanted to.

Many people have this misguided idea that we become angels when we die. Or a butterfly (or some other tangible expression) to show they are with us. Without getting into too much detail, angels are a whole ‘nother discussion when it comes to who is who and what is what. Hebrews 1:14 tells us angels are servants whose role is to care for people who will inherit salvation. Angels are God’s messengers. They are God’s protectors of His people (Dan. 6:22). They are created to worship God (Is. 6:3). They are God’s warriors (2 Kings 19:35).  As great as angels are, God did not send His Son to die for them. God so loved humans he came as a human to die for humans. (And we don’t get wings)

So…what do you say to someone while standing at a casket or graveside? Sometimes absolutely nothing. Don’t even say, “Call me if you need something.” Most won’t, but one of the ladies made a great suggestion. She lost her husband suddenly and she now visits to show her love and sympathy but then a short while later will call that person and say, “I have been thinking of you. Let’s grab lunch today or tomorrow (set a specific time).” Sometimes the best thing to do is to cry with them or let them cry. Don’t judge. Don’t tell them they will get over it or need to get over it. And please, don’t tell them “God gained another angel.”

 

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January 20

Monday, January 20th, 2025

On one of the old Happy Days TV programs, teenager Richie Cunningham had just been “grounded for life” by his father for misbehavior. As father and son talked about Richie’s misdeed and the punishment, Howard Cunningham asked his son, “Do you know that there is a lesson in this for you?” Richie’s response was priceless: “I figured anything with this much pain had to have a lesson in it somewhere.”  How true, Richie, how true. It is a given that more lessons, more life-changing and life-altering lessons, are learned through difficulties and trials than through ease. In fact, I would venture to say the answer would be zero lessons learned when life is easy.

As I preached on this yesterday I used the illustration of the death of my father-in-law. In 1998 he was being operated on to have a triple by-pass redone. They had done one years before but could not find any evidence of it. During the operation, they were able to do two of the by-passes and when they opened them up they “pinked up” perfectly. But suddenly all the plaque from the old ones let loose and he died on the operating table. I was unprepared for that. Several days later I did his funeral service and held myself together for that. But following that and the meal which followed I went out by myself and bawled like a baby in my van. In 25 years I had never lost someone super close to me and I had done tons of funerals. For the first time I had truly felt the pain of losing someone I loved. I was closer to him than I was my own flesh and blood father. He told me once he was unsure how he felt about his daughter marrying a pastor (more about how he would act around me), but that she chose well and he was proud I was his son-in-law. He could be funny and “earthy” at the same time. He once got a smirk on his face as he began working on my taxes and lit up a cigar. He knew I was allergic to it but the smell was awful. It literally gagged me. He bust out laughing because he knew that would be my reaction and I would leave the office. At the same time, he loved his family and that included me. His love for his two granddaughters was a sight to watch.

I learned a lot through his death. I became “human” as a pastor. I now understood the pain people felt at the loss of a loved one. I no longer participated in a funeral as a detached entity. I try to remember that, even today, soon-to-be 27 years removed from his death. Empathy is a big thing. Take the time to slow down and hear people’s hearts ache. Lend an ear. Better yet, lend a hand or a shoulder. My biggest lesson was not learned in a time of ease, but in the fire.

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January 15

Wednesday, January 15th, 2025

I began reading a leadership book by Jon Gordon called The Energy Bus yesterday. I haven’t been able to get very far into it since I was at a doctor’s office waiting and got interrupted. (How rude!) 🙂  So far the gist of the book is Positivity vs Negativity. As I thought about that and then as I listened to the confirmation hearings for Pete Hegseth while I ate my supper, I couldn’t but see that many of those lawmakers needed a good dose of what this book appears to be about. The vitriol, negativity, hypocrisy and downright nastiness was a big turn off to me.

The Bible speaks about doing all things without grumbling and complaining (Phil. 2:14). To use another word: whining. I remember as I was growing up one of my grandfather’s favorite expressions was “Oh, stop your belly-achin'” Even as I type those words I can hear him saying them. (Not to me, of course, because I never complained). 🙂  Seriously though, he was on the money. No one ever made their situation or attitude better-or those around them-by grumbling and complaining.  When I think of someone whining I think of a little child who is not getting his/her way and let’s everyone know. That little whiny voice just grates on my nerves. Well…sadly, many never seem to grow out of that stage of life. Oh, their bodies grow. And yes, their minds grow (least we hope). Their vocabulary grows. But they just don’t seem to grow out of that whininess (and yes, I know that is not a word. Maybe it will be the 2025 Word of the Year!).

This morning in my daily Bible reading I read the following verses. I share them with you because I do believe that our attitude plays a lot into the way we see our day and others. “Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in Him! Fear the Lord, you his godly people, for those who fear him will have all they need. Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry, but those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing.” (Psalm 34:8-10). Then from Proverbs 15 I read the following verses: “The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing, but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness.” (v. 2). “A glad heart makes a happy face; a broken heart crushes the spirit.” (v.13). And one more: “Better to have little, with fear for the Lord, than to have great treasure and inner turmoil.” (v.16)

We all have a choice. We  can allow our circumstances to dictate our attitude, or we will allow our attitude to dictate how we see our circumstances. The latter makes more sense for the one who is a follower of Christ because we know the ONE who controls everything!  Make a positive difference today with your attitude. Pull people up not drag them down. You’ll be glad you did and your friends and colleagues will thank you. 

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December 31

Tuesday, December 31st, 2024

I’m not a betting man but, if I was, I would be willing to wager I will NOT be the only person to say this today: “December 31st-the last day of 2024. Can you believe it? It seems like just yesterday we were turning the page to 2024” (or something similar).  It does seem that the old adage is true in more ways than one: “Time flies when you are having fun.”  Like everyone else on the planet I would not say all of 2024 was fun, but I would say it was eventful.

Jo and I made our first ever trip to Arizona courtesy of a friend. We not only spent time with he and his wife, but we also got to meet another longtime blogging friend of mine. Along the way we saw the Grand Canyon, stayed in Sedona for two nights, ate some great food and met some amazing people.

We made several trips to Ohio to watch our grandson play high school baseball, both during the school year and during the summer. This past fall we were able to watch him play several football games. He is now a senior and will graduate this coming May. His dream of playing college and professional baseball is pretty much dead in the water (unless he grows about 5 inches and packs on some muscle). BUT he is currently sitting at a 4.25 GPA and is about 90% sure of attending THE Ohio State University.  Cameron, his sidekick, also plans to attend OSU. They met while working at Skyline Chili (that stuff gives me shivers. Who in the world thinks that cinnamon belongs in chili?). She actually approach someone about him asking her to the prom last year. Times sure have changed haven’t they? 🙂  We got to spend some time with her on Christmas Day and thoroughly enjoy her.

There have been funerals and weddings in the church family, some I participated in and some of which I was an observer.

Speaking of the church: we are in the process of an expansion. It has taken since 2018 to raise enough money to get started with excavation and hopefully this spring with construction. The leaders have made a commitment to building debt free for which I am in total agreement. We have, by God’s grace, seen an upswing in interest in the church. I (and the other leaders) are still trying to grasp what it is that is leading the interest.  I spent the months of September and October preaching on the Feels Like Home, of the church being HOME to people.  I know tomorrow is New Year’s Day and the probability of people reading this blog are slim to very slim (maybe none), but I plan to include the saying we began saying to remind ourselves who we are and who we want to be.

Finally, my big thing in 2024 was my knee replacement surgery. As of yesterday, Monday, December 30th, I was at the 7 week mark. My bend is 125%+ but my knee flat on the table is still at 3%. They say my cycling has tightened my hamstrings and they won’t allow my knee to straighten. It is painful trying to get it straight. They say where I am at 8 weeks is where I can expect to be the rest of my life. The PT is working hard, as am I on my own. It just may not happen. But I’m okay with that since I can now walk pain free and am no longer bowlegged in my right leg. The doctor shaved the top of my bone, rearranged some ligaments and tendons and said I would feel fantastic in about 6 months. Time needs to fly! 🙂

That is a short recap of my year. There is, of course, more I could include, both triumphs and disappointments/heartbreaks, especially spiritually.  How was your year?

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October 29

Tuesday, October 29th, 2024

One of the most used passages in the Bible is found in I Corinthians 13.  You might recognize it as the “Love Chapter.” It is used in weddings. You find it on home decor, bookmarks, even non-religious items/organizations use it. That’s because “love” is the essence of life. But just seeing it as a warm fuzzy saying is missing out on the real strength and power of that passage. Let me explain.

The Corinthian church was a mess, and when I say a mess, I mean a royal mess. Division. Incest. Compromise of truth. Quarreling over spiritual gifts. Fighting over who was more important and whom they followed. All those and more. There was one thing missing in all of that mess:

L. O. V. E.

In truth, love covers a multitude of sins. but there is one sin that blows love apart. Maybe stifles is a better word. That sin is pride and arrogance. The want and desire for power. I was speaking with someone recently expressing a genuine concern for a mutual acquaintance who has gotten into hot water. People are clamoring for a resignation. Not too long ago this person was the belle of the ball, the prince of the crown.

What happened? Pride. Arrogance. The inability to want or accept criticism. Surrounding oneself with “yes” people. A crushing of dissenting voices. Compromise of values took place and in its place was placed initiatives that devalued people. Sadly, unless there is repentance and a sincere apology and an honest attempt to change, great will be the fall. I’m afraid the arrogance and “what I want” will be so strong that proper steps will not happen and a life will be broken to pieces. Blame will be cast that “I was misunderstood” or “They are too pig-headed to see the big picture.” I’m afraid “I told you so” will be uttered, which will cause even more damage. I hate that because there had been much positive action. But like a lot of things, the past will be forgotten for the present. All because this person wouldn’t heed the loving, warning voices of others.

In case you need a refresher: “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful of proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” I Cor. 13:4-7 (NLT) 

Receive it. Learn from it. Give it. Practice it.

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