Friendship
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Wednesday, January 15th, 2025
I began reading a leadership book by Jon Gordon called The Energy Bus yesterday. I haven’t been able to get very far into it since I was at a doctor’s office waiting and got interrupted. (How rude!) 🙂 So far the gist of the book is Positivity vs Negativity. As I thought about that and then as I listened to the confirmation hearings for Pete Hegseth while I ate my supper, I couldn’t but see that many of those lawmakers needed a good dose of what this book appears to be about. The vitriol, negativity, hypocrisy and downright nastiness was a big turn off to me.
The Bible speaks about doing all things without grumbling and complaining (Phil. 2:14). To use another word: whining. I remember as I was growing up one of my grandfather’s favorite expressions was “Oh, stop your belly-achin'” Even as I type those words I can hear him saying them. (Not to me, of course, because I never complained). 🙂 Seriously though, he was on the money. No one ever made their situation or attitude better-or those around them-by grumbling and complaining. When I think of someone whining I think of a little child who is not getting his/her way and let’s everyone know. That little whiny voice just grates on my nerves. Well…sadly, many never seem to grow out of that stage of life. Oh, their bodies grow. And yes, their minds grow (least we hope). Their vocabulary grows. But they just don’t seem to grow out of that whininess (and yes, I know that is not a word. Maybe it will be the 2025 Word of the Year!).
This morning in my daily Bible reading I read the following verses. I share them with you because I do believe that our attitude plays a lot into the way we see our day and others. “Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in Him! Fear the Lord, you his godly people, for those who fear him will have all they need. Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry, but those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing.” (Psalm 34:8-10). Then from Proverbs 15 I read the following verses: “The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing, but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness.” (v. 2). “A glad heart makes a happy face; a broken heart crushes the spirit.” (v.13). And one more: “Better to have little, with fear for the Lord, than to have great treasure and inner turmoil.” (v.16)
We all have a choice. We can allow our circumstances to dictate our attitude, or we will allow our attitude to dictate how we see our circumstances. The latter makes more sense for the one who is a follower of Christ because we know the ONE who controls everything! Make a positive difference today with your attitude. Pull people up not drag them down. You’ll be glad you did and your friends and colleagues will thank you.Â
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Tags: Choices, Christian Living, Friendship, Grace, Humility, Kindness, Leadership, Love, Mercy, Opinion, Positive/Negative Attitude, Reflection, Speech
Tuesday, December 31st, 2024
I’m not a betting man but, if I was, I would be willing to wager I will NOT be the only person to say this today: “December 31st-the last day of 2024. Can you believe it? It seems like just yesterday we were turning the page to 2024” (or something similar). It does seem that the old adage is true in more ways than one: “Time flies when you are having fun.” Like everyone else on the planet I would not say all of 2024 was fun, but I would say it was eventful.
Jo and I made our first ever trip to Arizona courtesy of a friend. We not only spent time with he and his wife, but we also got to meet another longtime blogging friend of mine. Along the way we saw the Grand Canyon, stayed in Sedona for two nights, ate some great food and met some amazing people.
We made several trips to Ohio to watch our grandson play high school baseball, both during the school year and during the summer. This past fall we were able to watch him play several football games. He is now a senior and will graduate this coming May. His dream of playing college and professional baseball is pretty much dead in the water (unless he grows about 5 inches and packs on some muscle). BUT he is currently sitting at a 4.25 GPA and is about 90% sure of attending THE Ohio State University. Cameron, his sidekick, also plans to attend OSU. They met while working at Skyline Chili (that stuff gives me shivers. Who in the world thinks that cinnamon belongs in chili?). She actually approach someone about him asking her to the prom last year. Times sure have changed haven’t they? 🙂 We got to spend some time with her on Christmas Day and thoroughly enjoy her.
There have been funerals and weddings in the church family, some I participated in and some of which I was an observer.
Speaking of the church: we are in the process of an expansion. It has taken since 2018 to raise enough money to get started with excavation and hopefully this spring with construction. The leaders have made a commitment to building debt free for which I am in total agreement. We have, by God’s grace, seen an upswing in interest in the church. I (and the other leaders) are still trying to grasp what it is that is leading the interest. I spent the months of September and October preaching on the Feels Like Home, of the church being HOME to people. I know tomorrow is New Year’s Day and the probability of people reading this blog are slim to very slim (maybe none), but I plan to include the saying we began saying to remind ourselves who we are and who we want to be.
Finally, my big thing in 2024 was my knee replacement surgery. As of yesterday, Monday, December 30th, I was at the 7 week mark. My bend is 125%+ but my knee flat on the table is still at 3%. They say my cycling has tightened my hamstrings and they won’t allow my knee to straighten. It is painful trying to get it straight. They say where I am at 8 weeks is where I can expect to be the rest of my life. The PT is working hard, as am I on my own. It just may not happen. But I’m okay with that since I can now walk pain free and am no longer bowlegged in my right leg. The doctor shaved the top of my bone, rearranged some ligaments and tendons and said I would feel fantastic in about 6 months. Time needs to fly! 🙂
That is a short recap of my year. There is, of course, more I could include, both triumphs and disappointments/heartbreaks, especially spiritually. How was your year?
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Tags: Christian Living, Church, Friendship, God's Plan, Miscellaneous, Opinion, Perseverance, Reflection, Story, Year end recap
Tuesday, October 29th, 2024
One of the most used passages in the Bible is found in I Corinthians 13. You might recognize it as the “Love Chapter.” It is used in weddings. You find it on home decor, bookmarks, even non-religious items/organizations use it. That’s because “love” is the essence of life. But just seeing it as a warm fuzzy saying is missing out on the real strength and power of that passage. Let me explain.
The Corinthian church was a mess, and when I say a mess, I mean a royal mess. Division. Incest. Compromise of truth. Quarreling over spiritual gifts. Fighting over who was more important and whom they followed. All those and more. There was one thing missing in all of that mess:
L. O. V. E.
In truth, love covers a multitude of sins. but there is one sin that blows love apart. Maybe stifles is a better word. That sin is pride and arrogance. The want and desire for power. I was speaking with someone recently expressing a genuine concern for a mutual acquaintance who has gotten into hot water. People are clamoring for a resignation. Not too long ago this person was the belle of the ball, the prince of the crown.
What happened? Pride. Arrogance. The inability to want or accept criticism. Surrounding oneself with “yes” people. A crushing of dissenting voices. Compromise of values took place and in its place was placed initiatives that devalued people. Sadly, unless there is repentance and a sincere apology and an honest attempt to change, great will be the fall. I’m afraid the arrogance and “what I want” will be so strong that proper steps will not happen and a life will be broken to pieces. Blame will be cast that “I was misunderstood” or “They are too pig-headed to see the big picture.” I’m afraid “I told you so” will be uttered, which will cause even more damage. I hate that because there had been much positive action. But like a lot of things, the past will be forgotten for the present. All because this person wouldn’t heed the loving, warning voices of others.
In case you need a refresher: “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful of proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” I Cor. 13:4-7 (NLT)Â
Receive it. Learn from it. Give it. Practice it.
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Tags: Arrogance, Christian Living, Friendship, God's Plan, Grace, Humility, Jesus, Leadership, Love, Ministry, Opinion, Pride, Reflection, Scripture look
Thursday, October 24th, 2024
Today is a special day! No it’s not my birthday (that was the 9th). 🙂 No, it is not my anniversary, or a job change, or any event that is a change or marks a change. Today is the day I spend my morning reading to 5 Kindergarten classes.
Several years ago (pre-COVID), the Monroe County UW had a program called Real Men Read (RMR). They extended an invitation to Owen County to be involved. The basis of the program was young children-in this case K kids-need to see men as role models, especially in the area of reading. Many kids have fathers who don’t or can’t read, and as a result these young children were left floundering, especially academically. Why read when my dad doesn’t, or worse, can’t? RMR was born.
I got involved in the program and began reading to one local K class taught by Mrs. Lee. I loved it! And the kids loved me (which I will NEVER complain about)! COVID hit and I still read. We went outside when the weather was good (Fall and Spring); I read inside when the snow was flying or it was too cold. (Mrs. Lee let me go without wearing a mask while I read inside). Fast forward to 2022. I began reading to 3 classes at the school where Tami teaches a K class; one in another district about 12-15 miles away; and two in another district about 15 minutes away. So for one year I read to 6 classes in one month! I loved it! Last year our local school added a K class; I taught 2 in the other district; and in the one furthest away the teacher had her husband read. Very cool! This year I am teaching to 4 classes in our local school and one in another. The two large K classes have now moved up to the 1st grade.
Today I get to read The Biggest Pumpkin Ever,” a great book about working together. One good thing is our local Curriculum Coordinator was able to secure a Title IX grant which allowed us to buy enough books that each child gets to take home a copy of the book I read that day. They can then continue learning about the joy of reading (and hopefully get some help from home).
Children held a special place in the heart of Jesus. When they were being rebuked and sent away by His own disciples, Jesus put a stop to it. He even used a child as an example when He said, “Unless we have the faith of a little child we will not enter the kingdom of heaven.” “Let the little children come to me for such is the kingdom of heaven.” Children are special. They are to be loved and embraced (in the right way). One of my favorite moments is when I’m done reading and it is time for a group hug. What a joy! Just one more reason I look forward to today! 🙂
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Tags: Friendship, Jesus, Ministry, Miscellaneous, Opinion, Parenting, Reading to children, Reflection, Story
Monday, October 14th, 2024
Not every week, but at least twice a month we open the sermon time with the following saying. I have it put on the screen and TVs so we can all say it together:
WE’RE GLAD YOU ARE HERE!
If you are happy we want to celebrate with you.
If you are tired and need rest;
If you are hurting and need comfort;
If you have failed, feel guilt and shame and wonder if God still loves you;
If you feel you are at the end of your rope and need a lifeline;
If you think you are too great a sinner and feel hopeless;
If you are here but can’t raise your eyes, head, or hands in worship…
That’s okay. We want this to be a place where you find strength to go on. Let us pray for you, stand beside you and even carry you to God’s throne where you can find new hope.
I firmly believe this should be what every church says to every person who walks through their doors on a Sunday morning. In fact, it would be a great thing if the church was known for this every day of the week. People will know we are Christ-followers not by our religious sounding words, our American Idol Sunday morning productions, our promise of prosperity, or fancy buildings. They will know we are Christ-followers by our love. That is exactly what Jesus said in John 13:34-35:Â “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each others. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” (NLT)Â Love each other. I see no qualifiers there. I see no “be like this or don’t be like this” in those words. We are to simply love. Nothing more; nothing less.
To love like this is the church being the church. It is also the church being like Jesus. What are you doing to make this happen?
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Tags: Christian Living, Church, Friendship, God's Plan, Grace, Jesus, Leadership, Love, Mercy, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection, Scripture look, Story
Monday, September 16th, 2024
It never ceases to amaze me when people who say they follow Christ allow petty differences to separate them. Yes, the words or actions hurt. I am not denying that but seriously? Lifelong friends becoming the rest-of-life enemies? I read the following story awhile back and used it yesterday during a communion thought:
Esther (Eppie) and Pauline Friedman were identical twins born on July 4, 1918. At age 21 they were married to their husbands in a double wedding. In 1955 Eppie took over an advice column in the Chicago Sun-Times called “Ask Ann Landers.” Only a few months later Pauline took up a similar column, “Dear Abby,” under the name Abigail Van Buren. Trouble began when Pauline offered their hometown paper, the Sioux City Journal, a lower rate for her “Dear Abby” column if the paper promised not to print her sister’s “Ask Ann Landers.” Eppie was furious. They both became very successful advice columnists, but their relationship was never the same. They counseled people on relationships, for crying out loud! Even after they both died, their children continued the feud. (copied from Feels Like Home by Lee Eclov-p.61-62)
I shake my head at that story, finding it almost unbelievable (but it’s true). Here are two advice columnists giving advice, but they can’t or won’t take their own. Hmmm. Sounds like many Christ-followers who carry grudges long past their prime. In fact, why carry a grudge at all? I tell people that “when you carry a grudge you are a slave to that other person. They own you.” They own your thoughts. They own your actions. Sometimes they even own your sleep. I will say it bluntly: it ain’t worth it.Â
Stop allowing past difficulties to waylay your future. Stop allowing past differences to stymie your steps. Give it up and let the offense go. Or at least, forgive from your heart. If they refuse to reciprocate, the ball is in their court and you walk free.
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Tags: Christian Living, Forgiveness, Friendship, Grudges, Lifestyle, Love, Mercy, Opinion, Reflection
Thursday, August 29th, 2024
One word says it all. One word can turn a person’s world upside down. That word? BETRAYAL.
I’m not sure there is a much more crueler word than that one. It congers up feelings of hatred, of anger, of spoken and unspoken words. It makes our blood boil. It makes us shiver.
That word came to my mind this morning as I read a passage of Scripture. Contrary to what you may be expecting, it was not about Judas’ betrayal of Jesus. In all honesty, I’m guessing most of us probably think of that when the word betrayal is mentioned.
Actually this passage is from Psalm 55. David wrote it. There were multiple times David was betrayed so I am unsure who this is speaking of, but it is still a sharp jab to David’s side. Here is the Scripture: “It is not an enemy who taunts me-I could bear that. It is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me-I could have hidden from them. Instead, it is you-my equal, my companion and close friend. What good fellowship we once enjoyed as we walked together to the house of God.” (Verses 12-14 NLT)
What do you think? You surely sense his pain. I do. Perhaps the ultimate betrayal is from a friend. We’re not talking about the man without a country who betrays his country. We are talking about a friend who betrays a friend. David describes him as “my equal, my companion and close friend.” OUCH!
How did David survive the betrayal? Not by lashing out. Not by revenge. Not my getting even. Here is his secret:“But I will call on God, and the Lord will rescue me. Morning, noon, and night I cry out in my distress, and the Lord hears my voice.” (55:16-17 NLT)
The next time you are betrayed (which I hope never happens) it’s not enough to say, “I should have chosen a better friend.” You could not have known. Rather, take your distress, your broken heart to God. You can’t change the actions or words of your former friend, but you can take charge of your reaction. Here’s some further advice from David: “I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?” (Psalm 56:11 NLT)
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Tags: Betrayal, Christian Living, Forgiveness, Friendship, Lifestyle, Opinion, Reflection, Revenge, Scripture look, Story, Suffering
Thursday, July 11th, 2024
Jo and I are in Ohio today watching our grandson play the last two games of baseball we will get to watch this summer. We came yesterday to spend the night and some time with him and Janna (our daughter), watch two ball games today and then head home. The next trip to Ohio will be Labor Day weekend to watch him play high school football and take the weekend off (my first one since February).
I am continuing to read Out of the Blue by Greg Murtha. I blogged about it the past two days. Here is something to consider that I read: Greg, by his own admission, was good at wearing masks. Cancer ripped the mask off. Sitting in a chair with others getting the same type of cancer treatment/infusion/torture left him with a vulnerability he was not used to. He wrote: “When we admit that we’re fractured in one way or another, others will risk vulnerability too.” (p.49)
Everyone of us is broken-just in different ways and in different areas. Alcohol. Drugs. Porn. Sex. Mental issues. Selfishness. Volatile reactions, i.e. anger. They are many and varied. And we try to mask them. Cancer, Greg says, breaks down walls and builds bridges. You see suffering as an upside. It draws us to each other-and to God.
Someone somewhere must admit brokenness. When that takes place, vulnerability happens. There is nothing wrong with lowering the mask and admitting, “I’m struggling.” “I’m hurting.” I think His lack of judgmentalism is one of the qualities that drew people to Jesus. They found in Him a “safe” person. So can we. The psalmist speaks often of God being our refuge, our Mount Zion. We find that in our vulnerability with Him and ultimately with our fellow strugglers.
Let’s be real. Let’s rip off the masks. Let’s start a Realness Revolution!!
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Tags: Choices, Christian Living, Friendship, God's Plan, Grace, Humility, Jesus, Masks, Mercy, Ministry, Opinion, Perseverance, Reflection, Story, Suffering
Thursday, June 27th, 2024
All people matter to God, therefore they should matter to us.
Lately I’ve been reading a book on dementia entitled Finding Grace in the Face of Dementia by John Dunlop, MD. Because it seems to be becoming a bigger issue these days, I thought I’d read up on it and learn more. It has been an eye-opening book (in a good way). Over and over Dr Dunlop has emphasized the importance of dignity for the dementia sufferer, as well as it’s kissing cousin, Alzheimer’s.
Dr. Dunlop is a committed Christ-follower so his perspective is different than many in the medical field. Instead of writing them off as a “nuisance” and a “bother” for others, especially their caregivers, he pushes the belief that showing them dignity is first and foremost. One very helpful section is found on pages 123-125 where he gives a number of practical way we can express dignity. He does it from the perspective of entering their “world.”
But this devotion is not a book review. While he has obviously focused his attention on the dementia patient, I couldn’t help but make the correlation to others in our sphere on influence. Each person we come in contact with should be deemed a person who matters. Whether it is the same sex, ethnicity, color, position in life, or social status, we need to, no, we must see them as people who hold special importance in God’s eye. As a Christ-follower that means they must hold importance in my eyes as well. We may not always agree, we may not always get along, we may butt heads from time to time, but that should not change how much each of us should matter.
In James 2 James warns the church about choosing sides and showing preference to one group over another. He says it is a shame and a black mark to do so (my loose translation). Jesus Himself told the parable of the Good Samaritan and showed how a man who was hated because of his ethnicity was actually more of a brother than the so-called “religious people.”
We have all seen people snubbed because of political affiliation. We have all seen people snubbed because of color. We have all seen people snubbed because of sexual orientation. We have all seen people snubbed because of status. We have all seen people snubbed because of a medical condition. It is ugly. Like I said, I may not agree with someone’s opinion or lifestyle, and can’t compromise the truth, but at the same time that gives me NO RIGHT to denigrate or write someone off as being persona non grata because we are different.
Dementia patients deserve loving treatment. We all do. Let’s begin to give dignity to others. Let’s begin to treat others as we would like to be treated.Â
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Tags: Alzheimer's, Choices, Christian Living, Church, Dementia, Dignity, Friendship, Jesus, Kindness, Lifestyle, Love, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection, Truth Telling
Thursday, May 30th, 2024
I cheated. I wrote this post ahead of time just in case I did not make it back home Wednesday and we decided to stay the night somewhere. Here were the thoughts I postponed from yesterday’s post to give an update on Janna.
WHAT DO YOU THINK CONSTITUTES A GOOD FAMILY?
Of course, the answers are many. Here are a few: Empathy. Sympathy. Teamwork with teammates. Honesty. Taking responsibility. Accepting responsibility. Forgiveness. Space to allow for mistakes. The freedom to make mistakes and admit them. Love (obviously). Faith. Prayers. Shared shoulders. And the list goes on.
Now…consider the church as a family. The very same characteristics of a blood family are also to be there for a different kind of blood family.
In Isaiah 1 the people of Judah were acting very “unfamily-like.” Their outward actions were blatant displays of disrespect. Yeah…that happens in real families. To put it very bluntly, their outward actions did not show the state of their heart. Or maybe they did?
How easy it is to put on a show at home and with our church family. Jesus said the religious leaders’ lips said one thing but their hearts were far from Him. It is called “going through the motions.” Family members do that. Church family members to that also. They act like they like you, but what they do and say behind your back hurts like fire.
Frankly, self-concern replaces other-concern. It destroys families. It devastates church families. Arguing and fighting, even over petty things, plays havoc on a family’s unity. It does the same for a church family.
Don’t be a “ruiner;” be a builder.
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Tags: Choices, Christian Living, Church, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, Humility, Interactions, Leadership, Lifestyle, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection
