Humility
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Tuesday, August 27th, 2024
SUCCESSION.
To some that’s a bad word. To some it’s an unspoken word. To others it is a word that fulfills the first part of that word: SUCCESS.
I’ve been reading a lot lately on succession. I’m on my second reading of Next by Vanderbloemen and Bird (First and now second edition). I’ve read two others and will soon read The Elephant in the Boardroom by Weece and Crabtree.
Why? To put it bluntly: I’m 71 years old, soon to be 72 in October. I start my 20th year at OVCF (the church I pastor) in November. I’m not getting any younger. (I know, sad, but true). 🙂 And even though it would be nice to keep pastoring and living to a good old age that isn’t guaranteed. The stats are still one out of one I will kick the bucket. So not only do I need to prepare for my transition out of this life, I also need to prepare for my transition out of OVCF. I want it to grow and live on! NO ONE wants to see something they have given their heart and soul, blood, sweat and tears to go down the tubes. Unless, of course, that person is a narcissist.
There is an old saying
Those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it. (George Santayana, philosopher)
“Wise leaders in pastoral succession will learn from the past.” (Vanderbloemen and Bird-Next-p.154) In my reading I have read of enough failures to know I. DO. NOT. WANT. THAT!
A wise leader also learns to recognize when age, health, or simple lack of effectiveness affects or will soon affect his/her future. That goes for any CEO; founder: leader; church planter; or in my case, a pastor who loves his people.
I’m reminded of the words of John the Baptizer when asked about the popularity of Jesus over him. John said, “He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less.” (John 3:30 NLT) And that is the whole point of succession. For me at least. I don’t want to hold back the advance of God’s kingdom because of arrogance and pride.
That same principle applies to all leaders faced with the need for succession. Don’t hold back the advance of your company because of arrogance and pride. While I’m not a CEO, A CFO, or any other “O”, I want to see God’s kingdom move forward, especially at OVCF.
Posted in InTheShadow | 8 Responses »
Tags: Christian Living, Effectiveness, God's Plan, Humility, Leadership, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection, Story, Succession, The future
Thursday, August 22nd, 2024
Affirmation and confirmation. Two peas in the same pod and yet, they can stand alone.
Many people cannot live their lives without one or the other and sometimes both. The subtle difference between the two is just that…very subtle. Affirmation seems to be more mental, i.e. “you like who I am and what I am doing so say something that will affirm me.” Confirmation is an approval that I have chosen the better road to take. That may be as clear as mud to you but perhaps I can use a biblical story to illustrate that.
In Mark 10: 35-45 is the story of James and John asking Jesus to grant that one of them sit on His right hand and the other on His left. I think it is significant that Jesus didn’t rebuke them. Instead, He used it as a teaching moment for His disciples. He could have kicked them, read them the right act, belittled them in front of their friends, or something demeaning. He did nothing of the kind. Instead, as I said, He used it as a teaching moment.
Here it is: Glory isn’t gained through ruling but through serving, by taking the lowest place, not the highest.
Many times we do things to receive accolades, which in turn, gives us affirmation. If we don’t get that affirmation we are paralyzed-sometimes with demeaning thoughts we dream up ourselves or simply saying things like “They don’t appreciate me. They take me for granted.” We crave those pats on the back. They are our bread and butter. And here’s the thing: when we don’t get the affirmation it often handcuffs us into inaction. I’m convinced that when that happens we are doomed, not as in dead, but into inaction. We aren’t so sure any more of the direction we have chosen to go in.
Here’s another thought: as a follower of Christ I should not be tied to people’s affirmation of me as a sign of acceptance and approval. It has been said that “worship is an audience of One.” Perhaps living our lives each day should come down to that as well. I should not need the affirmation and approval of others to do God’s work. As the servant love of Jesus captures us, we delight to pursue true greatness by being a servant, not by seeking the “right seat.”
We all long to live commendable and significant lives. No one wants to be sidelined. What we need to decide is will I live for the affirmation and approval of others, or for the abiding peace knowing I have God’s affirmation. That should be enough.
Posted in InTheShadow | 10 Responses »
Tags: Acceptance, Affirmation, Approval, Christian Living, God, Humility, Jesus, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection, Scripture look
Thursday, August 15th, 2024
Knee Replacement Day.
We have special days we remember:
- Valentine’s Day- Remember Love
- Easter- Remember the Resurrection
- Memorial Day- Remember the Fallen
- June 16, 1973- Remember Wedding Day (better not for forget that one!)
- Independence Day- Remember Freedom
- Labor Day- Remember Work
- October 9, 1952- Greatest Day (birthday) 🙂 (I’m a legend in my own mind)
- Veteran’s Day- Remember Veterans
- Thanksgiving Day- Remember Gratitude
- Christmas Day- Remember Jesus’ Birth
And now a new one for me to remember: November 11th-Knee Replacement Day
After years of running and jumping playing baseball and basketball (and believing I could still jump and play like I used to); after soon-to-be 72 years of a bowed right leg getting worse as I aged; after meniscus surgery at age 61; after arthritis in that same knee; after 4 injections (3 steroid and one hyaluronic acid) with the last steroid barely lasting weeks; after days and night of discomfort; after times of painful walking and feeling like it was going to was going to give out and put me on my face…it’s time.
I know it’s necessary, but after visiting the PA yesterday for a preliminary exam and talking, it will be no walk in the park (pun intended).
Interesting, isn’t it, how we remember days? Day of infamy. Days of celebration. Day of intense joy. Days of deep sorrow. God has given us an incredible ability to remember, to learn, to grow from every experience. Don’t waste a moment. Don’t waste an experience. Learn. Grow. Psalm 29:1 says, “Honor the Lord, you heavenly beings; honor the Lord for His glory and strength. Honor the Lord for the glory of His name. Worship the Lord in the splendor of His holiness.” (NLT)
Celebrate special moments. But in those special moments, honor Him.
Posted in InTheShadow | 12 Responses »
Tags: God, Humility, Opinion, Reflection, Remembrance, Story, Thanksgiving, Worship
Wednesday, August 14th, 2024
The gift of forgiveness is one of, if not the greatest gift we can give someone…AND OURSELVES.
Many years ago I was meeting with a group of elders in a public restaurant. Another man had asked if he could join us and one of the men said Yes. After a chatty and lighthearted lunch, this man man launched into a vindictive and accusatory castigation of me and my ministry. He asked accusatory questions (not moral ones) about my time and what I did with it. (I did not answer him since it was none of his business). More questions. And then his coup de grace was telling me I should resign and move back to Ohio. Then, as was his modus operandi after a making a scene, he got up and left. I was not the only one who sat in stunned silence. I broke the ice and simple asked one question, a question that would seal what I would decide to do. I asked them if they agreed with him and did they want me to resign. “If you do,” I said, “You have my resignation today. I will not work with men who do not support me. I will not put up with such groundless accusations.” To a man they said, “No.” They all felt he was way off base and the man who approved him coming apologized never expecting that. They proved it the next meeting when he showed up (thanks to the yes from the same man who thought he was going to apologize). Instead, he came loaded for bear and made the same proposition: “Move back to Ohio where you belong.” They said after he left (again the same way), “Absolutely not.”
Several factors came into play. First, he was ticked off that his proposed building project that would have cost in the $5-600k range was rejected by the leadership. (Good thing too since factors soon took place that changed the trajectory of our direction).
Second, and more importantly, what was I going to do? You may find this hard to believe but I chose the path of forgiveness. I have seen enough lives ruined by refusing to forgive than I care to talk about. Marriages have crumbled; friendships have fallen apart never to be repaired; churches split; physical infirmities as a result of holding a grudge; all as a result of refusing to forgive.
I chose to forgive. I greeted him with outstretched hand and a smile. I asked him to help out with things (but was turned down). Why? Not because I’m a super saint. Far from it. My natural instinct was to defend myself. Instead, I tried to practice Colossians 3:12-13- “Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Was I perfect in it? Nope. There were times I struggled with my anger and emotions. There were times I wanted to tell others and have them defend me, i.e. boost my ego. I also knew this: the failure to forgive makes us that person’s slave. They own us. We hurt no one but ourselves when we refuse to forgive.
I have no idea how he feels, even to this day. But I know how I feel. Not vindicated. Not holier-than-thou. I do feel peace. I am not suffering from poor health from holding a grudge. And I do know Jesus stands even taller in my eyes when I read that He said, “Father, forgive them, they don’t know what they are doing.” He had it much rougher than me, that’s for sure.
What about you? Are you carrying a grudge you need to dump? Are you seeking to get even? Dump it. Excuse my French: IT. AIN’T. WORTH. IT!
Posted in InTheShadow | 8 Responses »
Tags: Choices, Christian Living, Forgiveness, God's Plan, God's Word, Grace, Humility, Jesus, Love, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection, Scripture look, Story
Thursday, August 8th, 2024
Have you ever noticed “Tell no one what I’ve done” does not seem to be common today? It is rarely spoken. Just the opposite really. Many/most want their exploits plastered all over and shouted from the rooftops. There are, of course, times when we wish our deeds were unknown. But that is a topic for another time. 🙂
There is a proverb that says, “Let someone else praise you, not your own mouth-a stranger, not your own lips.” (Proverbs 27:2 NLT). Simply put: Don’t toot your own horn. That’s a good practice to follow. A fun movie to watch is The Incredibles. Mr. Incredible is a “retired” superhero now doing insurance, but it is dull and mundane. He never loses his desire to be Mr. Incredible again and he begins to daydream by drawing costumes. For some reason, he wants a cape. But Edna-the designer of costumes-says, “No cape” then shows him vignettes of superheroes having trouble because of capes. Capes are dangerous. One doesn’t need a cape to be a superhero. Actions speak louder than capes.
Capes are unnecessary. What got me thinking of this was my reading this morning from Mark 5. Jairus comes to Jesus asking for help for his dying daughter. Sandwiched between Him saying, “Yes” and the actual event, is the woman who approached Jesus to stop an issue of blood. By the time Jesus gets to Jairus’ daughter she has died. He raises her to life and then tells the parents, “Tell no one.” Yeah right. How do you keep silent about something so miraculous? Jesus didn’t need or want a cape. He just did. And each time He told someone, “Tell no one” most often they did anyway. We aren’t told what Jairus and his wife did. I’m sure they fed their daughter as Jesus told them to do, but I have this sneaking suspicion they told a whole bunch of people. Certainly those who were mourners and laughed at Jesus when He said she was just sleeping let it be known.
Truly humble people-ones I admire-are those who don’t toot their own horn. There is something that happens inside when a deed is done for another without fanfare. The Bible calls it “not letting your right hand know what your left hand is doing.”
It also means not wearing a cape.
Posted in InTheShadow | 8 Responses »
Tags: Christian Living, Generosity, Humility, Kindness, Lifestyle, Mercy, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection, Scripture look, Story, Superhero
Tuesday, July 30th, 2024
More tidbits from the pen of Bob Goff in Love Does:
I used to think being loved was the greatest thing to think about, but now I know love is never just thinking about it. (p.17)
My observation: Love never grows tired of expressing itself. After 51 years I know my wife still likes for me to express my love to her in tangible ways. A hug. A hand hold. A kiss in the kitchen. Cleaning the tub (ok that’s taking it too far 🙂 ) Staying out of her kitchen and dishwasher (Gladly. I don’t load it right). You see…the best evidence of love is for me expressing it not just thinking about it.
I used to be afraid of failing at something that really mattered to me, but now I’m more afraid of succeeding at things that don’t matter. (p.25)
My observation: We put way too much emphasis on that which doesn’t matter. We pursue what won’t last. Case in point: the Olympics. While we follow and cheer our athletes on and hope they gain medals, that’s all well and good. They may even parlay those medals into endorsements and a good life. But in the end, do they matter? When he or she stands before God will they be able to show off the medal and expect special status? No. Success in life is nothing when compared to eternity in heaven.
One last one for today:
Things that go wrong can shape us or scar us. (p.30)
I’ll let you ponder that on your own. For the record: I agree. I don’t always like it when things go wrong, but my closeness to Jesus will determine my perception of it. I’d rather be shaped than scarred.
Which one can you relate to the best today?
Posted in InTheShadow | 4 Responses »
Tags: Christian Living, Faith/Feelings, Humility, Jesus, Lifestyle, Love, Ministry, Miscellaneous, Opinion, Reflection, Story
Tuesday, July 16th, 2024
One last devotion…(I think). 🙂
The past week or so of devotions here at “Shadow” I have been writing and telling you about a book that had a profound impact on me-Out of the Blue by Greg Murtha. (Those dates are July 9, 10, 11, and 15). At the age of 46, Greg, a healthy runner and athlete, go-to leader, husband and father, was stricken with Agressive Stage III Colon Cancer. He endured 95 chemo treatments over 5 years, but on June 22, 2017 he “moved to the front of the line” to use his words. He completed his book on June 15th in room 8637 of Vanderbilt University Medical Center’s CCU.
As I finished reading his book for the second time (the first I barely remember), I was overwhelmed with emotion. I shed some tears for a life well-lived, but also because it struck close to home. Not me. I just lost a friend to cancer and another has brain cancer. This book chronicling his thoughts and actions of the last 5 years of his life deeply and profoundly impacted me and caused me to stop and evaluate my own life.
I once read that Joni, the well-known Christ-follower who has been a quadriplegic for over 50 years, was once asked if she would change anything. She said, “No. I thank God for the accident and my wheelchair.” (edited by me). Several times Greg said virtually the same thing, i.e. he was thankful for the cancer that totally changed his life. It slowed him down. It woke him to the needs of others. It brought him to the point of listening to God. He would go for treatment, into a store, into a room and notice people most would miss-people who needed a hug, or who were hurting, had tears in their eyes, or simply needed a word of encouragement, or a prayer. And he was not ashamed to offer that.
He wrote the following:
“I’m learning that being present in the moment is what is important. Being the church wherever I am-that’s what matters. Listening to the prompting of the Holy Spirit is paramount to living a life of adventure.” (p. 160)
I’ll close by simply saying that I want that. Healthy or not I want to be present in the moment. I want to be the church, a representative of Christ, where I am and to whomever I come across. Will you join me?
Posted in InTheShadow | 4 Responses »
Tags: Choices, Christian Living, Death, God's Plan, Grace, Humility, Kindness, Life, Lifestyle, Love, Mercy, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection, Story, Suffering, Surrender
Thursday, July 11th, 2024
Jo and I are in Ohio today watching our grandson play the last two games of baseball we will get to watch this summer. We came yesterday to spend the night and some time with him and Janna (our daughter), watch two ball games today and then head home. The next trip to Ohio will be Labor Day weekend to watch him play high school football and take the weekend off (my first one since February).
I am continuing to read Out of the Blue by Greg Murtha. I blogged about it the past two days. Here is something to consider that I read: Greg, by his own admission, was good at wearing masks. Cancer ripped the mask off. Sitting in a chair with others getting the same type of cancer treatment/infusion/torture left him with a vulnerability he was not used to. He wrote: “When we admit that we’re fractured in one way or another, others will risk vulnerability too.” (p.49)
Everyone of us is broken-just in different ways and in different areas. Alcohol. Drugs. Porn. Sex. Mental issues. Selfishness. Volatile reactions, i.e. anger. They are many and varied. And we try to mask them. Cancer, Greg says, breaks down walls and builds bridges. You see suffering as an upside. It draws us to each other-and to God.
Someone somewhere must admit brokenness. When that takes place, vulnerability happens. There is nothing wrong with lowering the mask and admitting, “I’m struggling.” “I’m hurting.” I think His lack of judgmentalism is one of the qualities that drew people to Jesus. They found in Him a “safe” person. So can we. The psalmist speaks often of God being our refuge, our Mount Zion. We find that in our vulnerability with Him and ultimately with our fellow strugglers.
Let’s be real. Let’s rip off the masks. Let’s start a Realness Revolution!!
Posted in InTheShadow | 4 Responses »
Tags: Choices, Christian Living, Friendship, God's Plan, Grace, Humility, Jesus, Masks, Mercy, Ministry, Opinion, Perseverance, Reflection, Story, Suffering
Thursday, June 13th, 2024
I read in the past, and again recently, the following story:
A fisherman who caught crabs would keep them in a bucket without a lid. Someone noticed this and asked him, “Don’t you have to keep a lid on that bucket?”
He said, “No, they never get out.”
“Why? Because they can’t get out?”
“No,” he said. “When one crab tries to go over the side, the others reach up and pull him back down.”
When I read that I thought, “How much like humans that is.” We can’t hardly stand to watch someone, especially a rival, get ahead of us. We turn green with envy and jealousy and begin to think, “Hey! I deserve that. Not him. Not her. I put forth a lot of effort to get that.”
Envy is one of those things that we shoot at someone else and end up wounding ourselves.
Listen to these verses:
“The greatest among you must be a servant. But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” Mt. 23:11-12
“There are six things the Lord hates-no, seven things he detests: haughty eyes…” Pr. 6:16-17a
“Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” Pr. 11:2
“God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble…Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up in honor.” Js. 4:6,10
There are tons more where those came from! Simple truth: God wants us to put the needs of others above our own, to love one another, to and care for one another. Envy, and its sister, jealousy are listed as works of the flesh in Galatians 5 and really have no place in the life of the Christ-follower. Let’s stop it before it takes root.
{Note: All Scripture is from the New Living Translation}
Posted in InTheShadow | 4 Responses »
Tags: Choices, Christian Living, Envy, Humility, Jealousy, Love, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection, Scripture look, Sin
Tuesday, June 11th, 2024
Truth disclosure: I am writing this on Monday afternoon. You will see why in just a moment.
I just spent an incredible couple of hours with some inspiring people. I met Gavin probably close to 10 years or so ago at the Y. Just a few days prior to that he had just lost his sister when a box truck mowed her down while cycling. Until then I did not know him or his sister.
Fast forward to the middle of 2023 and in walk Gavin, Jenna and their children to a church service. I knew they were going to another church and my philosophy/policy is never to be accused of being a “sheep stealer.” They were accompanied by their other children who immediately went to our children’s department and loved it! In their arms was a little girl they named Gigi. Oh, I forgot to tell you that they have three biological children (all boys), adopted two children they had fostered, were fostering another cute little girl and were also fostering Gigi. The one was given back to mom within the past month, but Gigi was a special child. In more ways than one. She is one of most smiling children I have ever seen with the brightest blue eyes you will lay eyes on (pun intended). Those bright blue eyes have a special trait which identifies her as a child with Williams Syndrome (I encourage you to look it up on your own). Thanks to Jenna’s fighting for her, Gigi was given a fighting chance to live. And live she does! She is two years old now-a little small for her age but quickly developing a personality all her own and slowly learning to walk and talk. When Gavin and Jenna began attending the church I pastor (Owen Valley Christian Fellowship) we immediately began praying for her and for them.
This morning at 10:00, Gigi officially became Gloria Jane (_____). “Gloria” because she is a light to the world. “Jane” because that is her birth mother’s middle name. What a joy it was to be there and to witness the love they have for her, but also her sibling’s love for her. They asked if I would support them in prayer since Gavin’s mother, who is a medical doctor and the pastor of a local church, could not be there. I was honored to do so. And then I noticed she was able to make it and whether they had asked or not, I would have gladly stepped aside for her to pray. Afterwards, Jo and I were invited to a cookout at their house. It was fun meeting some of their friends and extended family.
Gavin and Jenna are perfect examples of Christ-followers who feel about children the way Jesus feels. There is no doubt that Jesus had a warm, tender heart toward children that knew no bounds. The way we treat children today has to truly break His heart. To see children thrown away as unwanted has to make Him cringe. And weep. To see them abused and mistreated surely makes His blood boil. Thank you Gavin and Jenna for showing Jesus by loving children and making them your own. I’m glad I was able to be a witness to this act of love.
Posted in InTheShadow | 8 Responses »
Tags: Adoption, Christian Living, Family, Humility, Jesus, Kindness, Love, Parenting, Reflection, Story
