You have probably heard the joke about 2 friends who were hunting in the woods when they saw a large, mean grizzly bear begin to approach them. One of the men turned to take off running and the other said, “You don’t think you are going to outrun that grizzly do you?” He said, “I don’t have to. I just have to outrun you.”
What a great friend! (I will now remove my firmly implanted tongue in my cheek).
I suspect we have all had friends like that. We call them “fair weather” friends, for that is truly what they are. They are with you until it gets sticky or too hot in the kitchen. Tragically, I have read and know of friendships that fell apart with an accusation, a word behind the back, a betrayal, or simply a lack of trust.
Here are a few questions to consider: When someone says something about a friend, what is your reaction? Do you defend your friend? Do you allow yourself to be swayed, to have some doubt? Do you betray your friend by piling on the accusations or simply by saying nothing at all? I remember many years ago defending a friend (Person A) against accusations made by a coworker (Person B). For the record, we did not work in the same place. It strained the friendship with Person B. Then years later I found out what he said was true. The other man’s (Person A) wife left him; he lost his family; he lost his ministry; and a lot of people were hurt by his duplicity. I apologized for my defense and the breach in our friendship to Person B when I heard the truth.
I honestly did what a friend should do. I heard the accusations from others. I went to the accused and was told they were all lies. I then defended the friend. But sometimes friendship is sticky, especially when you feel like you are in the middle. This time was like that. I don’t regret defending a friend. What I did regret is straining another friendship, only to find out what was being said was true.
Friendship takes work. Friendships are hard. Jesus once said, “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down His life for a friend.”
Be a friend, even when it gets sticky. I’d rather be loyal to a friend and maybe find out later that trust was misplaced, than walk out on a friend and find out my trust was really needed and the accusations were false.