Mercy
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Wednesday, June 11th, 2025
As I continue reading Unbroken Faith by Diane Dokko Kim- her book on having an autistic child who was also diagnosed with ADHD/ADD at the age of 2 and the crisis it brought personally, professionally, and spiritually- my eyes are continually being opened wider. Here is one example why:
“A rogue wave called autism had struck, leaving me sputtering with shock and indignity. In its wake, I was swept along into a career change I never signed up for: full-time caregiver, case manager, disability advocate, and traffic controller. Now my days were spent floundering amidst the waves of therapeutic professionals who cycled in and out of our home, specialists I’d never heard of before with a dizzying array of acronyms: LSW, ABA, OT, SLP, BCBA. Daily, for forty hours a week, as soon as one wave rolled out, another rolled in.”
“Dipping into the reserves of a faith bottomed out, I sagely accepted my new calling: Help the Poor Child. A forced perma-smile betrayed clenched teeth that gritted out my new mantra. “I’m trusting God. I’m trusting God. I’m trusting God…” But inside, I was wrecked. Our son was cognitively disabled; I was now spiritually crippled. Both of us needed urgent and intensive intervention. But therapists only came for him.” (pp.39-40)
It was that latter phrase which struck me: They both needed intervention but therapists only came for him. That is a common problem I have encountered when I have talked with people of special-needs children. The child gets the attention, but what about the parent, the caregiver? It is sort of like the pastor who gives and gives without taking time off and then finally finds himself burned out, having an affair, or needing a therapist because of depression. Many parents of special-needs children are forgotten amidst the difficulty of their lives. Diane is not afraid to admit it led to a real crisis in her faith and she hit rock bottom. The sad part is there will be those “Christians” who will chide her or condemn her or think less of her because she is willing to admit that. IMHO that is one of the first steps needed to be taken for healing to begin.
My takeaway: instead of condemning or even opening our mouth, perhaps a listening ear or a sympathetic “Here, let me carry that load with you for awhile” is what is needed. While the attention is rightfully on the child, let’s not lose sight of the parent(s) who are also struggling and often feeling abandoned. I personally believe that is exactly what Jesus would have done.
Jo, Tami and I are leaving for Ohio today and will be back in town on Saturday after watching Braden (grandson/nephew) play a few games of baseball. I’m not sure about posting tomorrow but your prayers for safe travel sure would be appreciated.
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Tags: Christian Living, Faith/Feelings, God, God's Plan, Love, Mercy, Ministry, Opinion, Perseverance, Reflection, Story, Suffering, Trials
Monday, June 2nd, 2025
Most people know the story of Job. A rich man (called the richest man in that entire area-Job 1:3) whose life is turned upside down. First, Satan takes away everything he has, including his children dying, except for his health. Then, he is allowed to tinker with his health and it says Job was covered with boils from head to foot. He scraped his skin with pieces of broken pottery (2:7-8). But perhaps the worst of it was putting up with the endless drivel of his so-called “friends.” I’ll not get into all they said-there isn’t enough space for all of that. But with their endless drivel came assumptions which had no basis whatsoever. I suspect many of us have been there-either the victim or the “victimee.” (yeah, I know that is not a word but who knows?). 🙂 The most basic assumption they made is that Job was suffering because of unconfessed sin. They pounded that hard and not always was it kind.
It got me to thinking about how I approach people and act as though I know it all and “speak for God.” It is, of course, not true, but I sure do act like it sometimes. Again, I don’t think I’m alone. We have all had those times we act like judge, jury and executioner when it comes to someone else’s suffering. There has got to be a reason this is happening to them! Unfortunately, we have trouble keeping our thoughts to ourselves. So yesterday, at the end of my sermon, I shared three thoughts. I thought I would share them with you this morning.
First, sometimes we can come off as judge, jury and executioner (like Job’s “friends”). We are opinionated and judgmental, often failing to put ourselves into the shoes of the other person. Be careful with this. Like Haman in Esther’s story, pride will come back to haunt us.
Second, and on the heels of the first, until we have experienced what another is experiencing, let’s keep our mouths shut on giving advice or opinions. Nothing more needs said about this.
Third, be careful of pat answers and pat words that we spout off because they sound good. Some of what we say simply sound like cliches.
Here is a good piece of advice: instead of always acting like we have the answer, let’s just be a friend who can be one without words if necessary.
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Tags: Choices, Christian Living, Friendship, Grace, Humility, Kindness, Mercy, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection, Story, Truth Telling
Monday, May 12th, 2025
“I’m at a loss. I don’t know what to say.” “I hate going to funeral homes. I don’t know what to say and if I speak I am afraid I will say the wrong thing.” I can’t even begin to tell you how many time I have heard that in my 50+ years in the ministry. It is a touchy subject without a doubt. NO ONE wants to be THAT person…the one who opens mouth and inserts foot, or the one who simply says the wrong thing at the wrong time. As I was rereading and ultimately finishing last night Douglas Grouthuis’ book, Walking Through Twilight, he gave some helpful tips on how to help lighten the load of someone, like him, who was going through the slow decline and ultimate death of his wife. Following are his suggestions and I add some commentary:
First, we ought to pray for wisdom before speaking or communicating with someone under the pressure of loss. Ask God for the right words to say or not say. Pr. 12:14 says, “Wise words bring many benefits.” In that same chapter it says, “Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.” (v.25). Choose your words wisely. Douglas gives an example of one who just found out she had cancer. The other person said, “Oh, if I had to have chemo-just shoot me.” There is a saying for that: “Better to keep your mouth shut and thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”
Second, avoid overinterpreting the dire situations by trying to read God’s mind. Stay away from cliches like “Oh, God will bring good out of evil.” That is true, but the person doesn’t want to hear that right now. How much better to sit silently and not give meaningless platitudes.
Third, learn to lament with people. Listen to the stories of suffering and identify with them. Stop interrupting. Say unprofound but appropriate things like, “I am so sorry” and “That is terrible.” Don’t wax poetic. Don’t wax spiritual. And please, please, please, don’t say, “I know how you feel.” No. No you don’t. Every situation is unique. How much better to say, “I’m sorry. I don’t know how you feel, but I will be here for you.”
I’ll add a fourth. Don’t say, “If you need me, call me.” They won’t. I’ve taken to say, “How can I help you right now?” “Can I do anything for you right now?” I’d like to also add: don’t disappear. Perhaps worse than hearing empty pablum is hearing nothing at all. If you care, put yourself out there. Martyred missionary, Jim Elliot once said, “Wherever you are, be all there.” That is especially true when offering lament to someone.
May we learn to empathize well.
I wrote about Douglas’ book in this post.
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Tags: Christian Living, Death, Empathy, Humility, Kindness, Mercy, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection, Speech
Tuesday, May 6th, 2025
Temptation to do something wrong is always “there.” So is the temptation to do something mischievous. I know you thinking, “Who me? Do something mischievous?” Yeah, I know what that’s like. I have those times too.
Something I read today about a teacher who lined her students up to go to lunch and they always jockeyed for the front of the line spurred my thinking. One day she switched it around and those in the back where the ones who went first. That got me to thinking about being snarky and mischievous. More mischievous than anything. You see…it is always a joke, especially in a church, how people jockey for the back row. I have one (Gail) who stands in a crowd all her own. She immediately goes to the front row. Like me, she knows distractions abound when you have others sitting in front of you. I prefer the front row. But I digress. Most people (except the really spiritual ones like Gail and me 🙂 ) head for the back rows. Now, here is where the little mischievous boy in me comes into play. I have been tempted-and so far I have resisted-to suddenly stand up to preach and change directions. Go to the back of the room and make people turn their chairs around. Can you imagine the moans and groans and the words reserved for Pastor Bill? It’s not possible to do that anymore since we have a camera set up in the back for our live stream, but oh…the fun I would have! Or the mutiny. Take your pick. 🙂
That teacher had to teach her class a lesson in “me first, you second” vs “you first, me second.” Jesus did the same. He once taught that the “one who wants to be first must be last.” There is something to be said and something that happens when we learn to put others before ourselves. When I was a kid I was taught J–O–Y– is Jesus first; Others second; Yourself last. In our get-ahead world, imagine the difference it would make if we all had this attitude. Others Before Self.
Jesus came to start a revolution (“I did not come to be served, but to serve.”). Maybe it is time we picked up on it.
And yes, I published this before Gail was able to put her .02 worth in. But I know Gail: she will forgive me. 🙂
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Tags: Choices, Christian Living, Humility, Jesus, Joy, Kindness, Leadership, Lifestyle, Love, Mercy, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection
Tuesday, April 8th, 2025
A very common thought, especially in today’s culture where there seems to be very little boundaries, is “How much can I get away with and not get caught?” or “How much can I get away with and not pay any consequences?”
For example, a young Christian couple gets too close and play with fire and she ends up pregnant. Horror and remorse sets in, let’s suppose, for both. They tell their parents. Decide to put the baby up for adoption (or to keep it). They repent and ask forgiveness for their sin. They are assured they have received God’s forgiveness. Does that take away the consequences of that sin? The answer is, obviously, no. She didn’t suddenly become un-pregnant. The baby didn’t miraculously disappear from her womb. The evidence of their sin will be obvious over the next 9 months or so. The forgiveness and grace of God will also be evident as she and he heal from the recklessness they exhibited.
I know that seems like an extreme example to use, but it isn’t really. All you need to do is go to 2 Samuel 11 for a real life example in the Bible. Two names: David and Bathsheba. The story is pretty well known. David sleeps with Bathsheba and she tells him she is pregnant. David takes it a step further. He has Uriah, her husband, murdered by having Joab, his general, pull back while in battle. That left Uriah unprotected. It was also supposed to give David a clear view of being with Bathsheba. But the prophet Nathan told him a story that fried David and Nathan pointed his finger at David and said, “You are the man!” David was contrite. He fasted and prayed when his son got sick and died. He wrote Psalm 51, a penitent psalm if there ever was one.
But one thing it didn’t change was Bathsheba’s pregnancy; his guilt and shame over Uriah’s death; and the prophecy that a sword will be in his family forever. It found its fulfillment in the rape of his daughter, Tamar, by her half brother, Amnon. Such ugliness from sin. And yet, David prayed and asked forgiveness. David received that and more. But the consequences!!
That same principle applies to me and you. We sin and think no one knows. After all it was done in secret. No eyes saw or witnessed it. Like the embezzler who thinks no one will find out, sin comes to roost. I guess the best thing to do is to not lay the egg to start with. God’s grace is great. God’s forgiveness is matchless. But let’s not take advantage of it nor take it for granted.
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Tags: Choices, Christian Living, Forgiveness, God's Plan, Grace, Mercy, Opinion, Reflection, Scripture look, Sin, Story
Thursday, March 27th, 2025
A person simply cannot live without hope. If you take away hope, you take away a reason to go on.
Recently I have gorged myself on Leadership books, particularly those by Jon Gordon, Patrick Lencioni and James Hunter. I have one by Simon Sinek sitting in my stack to read next. But earlier this week, I had reached my fill and thought to myself that I needed something else to read to eventually renew my focus on leadership. So I began to go book by book in my library to see what either struck my eye or maybe one I needed to read again for a refresher course. My eyes stopped at a book by the late J.I. Packer and Carolyn Nystrom called Never Beyond Hope. It was published in 2000 and it is hard telling how long I have had it. I have an original hardback so I think it is safe to say a long time. When I opened it to glance through it I realized I had no markings in it, which means I have never read it. So with Resurrection Sunday on its way and the hope that springs eternal from that day, I decided to give it a try. The subtitle of the book is How God Touches and Uses Imperfect People. I thought that certainly sounded like me so it appeared to be a good choice. 🙂
Packer writes the following in his Introduction: “While there’s life there’s hope, we say, but the deeper truth is that only while there’s hope is there life.” Read that slowly again. I once heard it said, “”A man can live three days without water, 40 days without food, but only five minutes without hope.” In other words, take away hope and a person has nothing to live for. Hope springs eternal is what we are told. Well, what happens when hope is lost? I believe that is exactly one of the reasons why the suicide rate is climbing higher with each passing day. Take away hope and all that is left is a mere existence, often characterized by painful memories, unmet expectations, and unrealized dreams. And, of course, when those are the thoughts the next question is, “What do I have to live for?”
My heart aches and breaks for people who have come to the end of their rope and see no way out. I wish they could see there is hope and there is a way out. Even though their situation looks impossible and unavoidable and desperate, there is ONE who has open arms and a big shoulder. He is the same one who said, “I have come that they might have life and have it to the full.” (John 10:10).
Please keep your eyes open today (and everyday) for those who are hurting, for those who seem to have it all together on the outside, but inside they are a weeping mess. You just may be the person who brings someone back from the brink, and along with you, can give praise to the ONE who gives life meaning and hope.
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Tags: Christian Living, Friendship, Hopelessness, Kindness, Lifestyle, Loneliness, Love, Mercy, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection
Wednesday, March 19th, 2025
The book of Judges in the Old Testament is aptly named. It is about judges. Not judges as we know them-sitting behind some desk with a lawyer or two debating the merits of a case or of a person the case involves. This was a different kind of judge.
The people of Israel had promised Joshua that they would do as he had committed to: “As for me and my house we will serve the Lord.” That lasted…until Joshua died. In fact, immediately after Joshua’s death (recorded in Judges 2:6-9), verse 10 is pretty poignant: “After that generation died, another generation grew up who did not acknowledge the Lord or remember the mighty things He had done for Israel.” Well…so much for the “As for me and my house” promise. What is even more telling is what it says in the following verses: “The Israelites did evil in the Lord’s sight and served the images of Baal. They abandoned the Lord…They went after other gods, worshiping the gods of the people around them…They abandoned the Lord to serve Baal and the images of Ashteroth.” {Editorial interject here: this is exactly what God has warned them against! This is why God wanted them to wipe out of people as they took over the Promised Land.}
God was not going to stand by and watch that happen, so He allowed foreign nations to take His people captive. But in His mercy He heard the cries of His people and raised up leaders (judges) to lead the people out of captivity. The pattern is simple to see. Taken captive by a foreign king. Live in slavery and captivity. Cry out to God for forgiveness and relief from captivity. God raises up a judge. The judge brings freedom. As long as the judge is alive, the people know freedom. The judge dies and they return to their sin and idol worship. The Israelites taken captive again. Rinse and repeat the cycle.
The judges are not household names: Othniel. Ehud (the left-handed warrior who plunged a knife into a very fat King Eglon). Shamgar who killed 600 Philistines with an ox goad (a traditional farming tool, a long stick with a pointed end-and sometimes a scraper or chisel at the other end-used to spur or guide oxen while they are pulling a plow or cart). Deborah (and her sidekick Barak). Other more well-known judges are Gideon and Samson.
The sad part is the Israelites kept repeating the pattern-the cycle- time after time. And each time a merciful and forgiving God would come to their rescue and free them. Sound familiar? It does to me. I am them. I go from “As for me and my house” to “I am going to do this on my own.” Fortunately, God is a merciful and forgiving God who lovingly envelopes me in His arms and says, “I forgive you my son.” How about you? Do you have that kind of God?
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Tags: Choices, Christian Living, Forgiveness, God, Grace, Judges, Love, Mercy, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection, Scripture look, Sin, Story
Wednesday, March 5th, 2025
I have two thoughts on my mind this morning. I have toyed with writing about one and holding off on the other until clarity (and a calm spirit) comes. But I decided to divide this post into two parts and do them both. 🙂
My first is about the significance of today. Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. I grew up in a tradition that did not observe Lent. I can remember being in a high school class and noticing the teacher had a black smudge on his forehead. I almost went up and told him, but didn’t. Now I know it was the fact he went to a Catholic church that morning before school and the priest had “blessed” him. I didn’t know that until years later. Truthfully, I never really heard of it nor knew what it was all about until sometime within the last 19 years or so. I decided to study its history and significance to satisfy my own curiosity. I found out it began on Ash Wednesday and was observed during the 40 days leading up to Easter Sunday. For some it was a time of fasting and praying, of giving up something for the purpose of discipline. And as is typical, for others it was simply a religious observance you did “just because.” There were several years I quietly observed giving something up for that period of time-caffeine (no Diet Dr Pepper), chips, chocolate, even ice cream one year. For me, it was a discipline to be able to gain control over something that I needed to give up. Honestly, it snuck up on me this year. In spite of what were probably plenty of signs, I missed it until just two days ago. I haven’t decided what to do, if anything, this year. Guess I’ll contemplate that and then decide.
My second thought is on respect. Growing up my parents taught me the importance of valuing others. I learned to say, “Yes ma’m” and “No sir” and other terms used to show respect. I was taught how to open doors for women and to help older folks. I was taught to value other people and their opinions. I haven’t always done it right. I now realize that word I used about another race-despite the fact I grew up near Pittsburgh and had friends of that race and played on the same team as them-was wrong. I refuse to use that word today, even though I hear them use it about themselves all the time. I was always taught to respect my elders and to not speak over others, to give them their due. I did not watch the address President Trump gave last night. I get up at 3:30 and 9;00 is my bed time. Besides, I figure I can always read about it today and will hear plenty about it as well. While I was not a fan of the previous administration, especially due to their war against faith-based organizations and people (among other things), I had to remind myself I was to respect the office and the rulers. As a pastor, I refuse to invite politics into the pulpit. While I might preach on abortion or life (I consider that a moral issue not a political one), I still tried to handle it respectfully, realizing “more flies are caught by honey than vinegar” as they say. The antics and vitriol of some toward the previous administration were uncalled for, as were the antics and vitriol spewed last night and will be today and in the days to come toward the current administration. Will all things be done right? Of course not! Since when are humans infallible? But it’s time to calm the (vulgar) language (by the way: thanks for teaching our kids words they should not know or say). It’s also time for civil discourse, to listen to what the other is saying or trying to say. As my daughter, Tami, says to her kindergarten class: “it is time to put on your listening ears.” I might add that it is also time to clothespin the mouth.
I know what I have said might ruffle some feathers. Personally, Idc, and besides that, I’m tired of the hate and garbage that passes for speech. I once read that “Profanity is the effort of a feeble mind trying to express itself forcibly.” I’m tired of adults acting like spoiled-brat children. Try adulting for a change. That goes for all of us, not just the politicians.
Off soap box. Sorry this post has gone on so long. Thanks for listening.
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Tags: Choices, Christian Living, Humility, Kindness, Leadership, Love, Mercy, Opinion, Reflection, Speech, Story
Wednesday, February 26th, 2025
“God is a bunch of contradictions.”
So some say. They have trouble reconciling a God of love with a God of justice. They have issues with God being a God of love and yet demanding we, human that we are, live a life of purity and sacrifice. “How can a God whom you say is One of love send anyone to hell?” “If God is a God of Omniscience (all-knowing) how can He forget my past sins?”
I don’t pretend to know all the answers (how foolish would that be?). But in Numbers 35 there is a unique set-up put in place by God that shows His character. Please keep in mind that “God’s attributes never work in conflict with each other.” (Tripp-2/26-p.70) If you yawn, I mean read through Numbers, 🙂 you will find yourself approaching the next to last chapter in chapter 35. In this one incident we see God’s attributes working in tandem with each other. It is true that God expects His people to act differently. We see His love working in tandem with His holiness. We see His justice working with His holiness. We see His patience working with His desire for the salvation of His people.
In Numbers 35:6-12 God establishes what are called “cities of refuge.” These cities are designed to be just that…refuge. But not refuge for the brokenhearted, or the sick, or the dying, or anyone who is seeking rest. No. The cities of refuge were designed for those who accidentally killed someone. Not acts of anger or revenge, but accidents. I swing an axe and the head flies off striking you and killing you. We are joking around and I push you and you stumble and fall, hit your head and die. Justice by the family or even townspeople would likely be swift and “an eye for an eye” type of revenge. But cities of refuge were for those who accidentally caused the death to flee to until he/she could get a proper hearing. There were certain rules to abide by and they could not be broken. For example, the person was required to stay in the city. If he left for any reason and was found by a member of the family, his life could be taken. Sounds harsh but in reality it wasn’t.
Here is the point I am trying to make: God is uncompromisingly holy and sin is an affront to Him and needs to be dealt with. But this is not one of those situations. A city of refuge provides mercy where mercy is needed. God’s holiness and mercy are not in conflict but actually in tandem with each other. We see these two attributes come into play thousands of years later when a man who was more than a man (He was the Son of God) makes His way to a cross. God’s justice for sin is taken care of in this divine act of mercy.
Contradictory? Nope. I’m thankful for mercy and justice working together.
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Tags: cities of refuge, God, God's attributes, God's justice, God's Plan, Grace, Jesus, Mercy, Opinion, Reflection
Friday, February 14th, 2025
In the OT book of Micah there is a profound passage of Scripture that carries a big stick. That Scripture is Micah 6:8 which says, “No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what He requires of you: to do what is right (do justice in some translations), love mercy, and to walk humbly with God.” (New Living Translation).
Every once in awhile you will hear some one say, “Never forget where you came from.” I love hearing testimonies of people who have come out of a hole-whether drugs or prison or poverty or cutting or thinking of taking their own life or some other challenging life situation-and make a stand for Christ in their new life. It reminds me of the saying in the NT: “I once was blind but now I see.”
The passage of Scripture for this week is Leviticus 24-Numbers 10 and trust me when I say it would be easy to gloss over it. But we would be cheating ourselves if we did. Yes, it is hard to read, but an ever bigger “yes” is the truth it presents. While filled with laws and dedications for priests, it presents to us an even greater truth: what we deserve versus what we receive. Simply put:while we deserve justice, instead we receive mercy.
For more on this topic, I would like to invite you to join us either in person or via live stream. Our services are 9:00 and 10:45 and if you can’t make it in person, we live stream both services. If you happen to miss them, you can catch them on YouTube or on our website during the week. You can send a request to our Facebook Group at Owen Valley Christian Fellowship or view our public page at Owen Valley Christian Fellowship-Spencer, IN. You may also watch via our YouTube channel at Owen Valley Christian Fellowship. If you happen to watch, would you mind letting us know? No pressure. I promise. I look forward to hearing from you.
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Tags: God, Justice, Mercy, Reflection, Scripture look, Sermon Series
