Parenting

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September 9

Monday, September 9th, 2024

Q: Who will teach our children?

A: The public school. Aaaah yeah.

A: The local church. That’s a little bit better answer but it still falls short.

A: The home/parents. At one point in the past we might have said, “Yes!” But recent events and previous events/years show us that is not always the best source.

A: The church and the home together. This is probably the best answer. Not the exclusive one like it used to be. When both church and home are off the rails, that makes for a crazy train ride.

I ask that question because of something I read this morning. It struck home. Psalm 78:4-6 says this: “We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wonders. For he issued his laws to Jacob; He commanded our ancestors to teach them to their children, so the next generation might know them-even the children not yet born-and they in turn will teach their own children.” (NLT)

The admonition there is that parents have been taught to teach so they can teach by passing down the lessons learned. This psalm is pretty clear that the bulk of the teaching is to be done at home, not at the public school (heaven forbid) or even the church (some of that is whacked).

But there is more! Verses 7-8 tell us why we are to teach our children! “So each generation should set its hope anew on God, not forgetting his glorious miracles and obeying his commands. Then they will not be like their ancestors-stubborn, rebellious, and unfaithful, refusing to give their hearts to God.” (NLT)

Methinks that somewhere along the line we missed the target. Just sayin’.

{Note: I’m not saying all public schools are off base. There are some-like my local school district-who, at this point, try hard to teach values I would consider worth learning. That’s the value of a small town school.}

June 17

Monday, June 17th, 2024

This past weekend was one of milestones for me. Three to be exact. I’ll go from Good, to Better, to Best.

Milestone #1– Although mostly meaningless to many of you, I reached my first 20 mile ride of the season. I have slowly been building my mileage throughout this season, although it has never been this late when I have hit this marker. But life happens. A tsunami-like work schedule, weird weather (so far lots of rain), family commitments, knee issues and age (71) have all played havoc with my riding routine. It got so bad that I even road one morning this past week in 40 degree weather! I slightly under-dressed for that one and got back to the office with my hands not working very well (I couldn’t move them).  This past Saturday I hit the 20 mile marker. It was a pretty good day for a ride. Hot (which I like) and a tad bit windy. But I survived. 🙂

Milestone #2– Father’s Day. 49 years ago and 44 years (almost 45) ago, I became a father. Tami and Janna have been the two blessings in my life I would never want to have been without. And then Janna blessed me with being a grandfather almost 18 years ago (October). Braden has been a highlight of my time here on earth. I realize not all can say the same about their children and grandchildren, but I thank God every day for these three gifts God gave me.

Milestone #3– This one is THE highlight of my milestones, the coup de grace of blessings. June 16, 1973 is when Jo and I were married. So yesterday, June 16th, was our 51st anniversary. We have been through a lot; have had our share of ups and downs; moved when we didn’t want to and moved when we did; celebrated the highlights and mourned the low-lights (the death of our parents for one); and we did it together. People find it incredible when I say we have never had an argument, but then I remind them we have had lots of quiet nights. 🙂  She has hopefully seen the transformation of an arrogant, opinionated,  know-it-all into a man whose heart beats with love for God and for the people He has entrusted to me in my role as pastor/shepherd. At 71 I still have a passion for my work and want to continue doing this until God says, “Enough.”  But more than that I want to be known as a man who loved His God first and foremost, loved his children, loved his grandson, loved the church he is now serving, but most of all, loved his wife and was an example of a godly husband, father, grandfather, pastor and man. 

Will there be more milestones? I certainly hope so. But only the Father knows (and He ain’t telling). Meanwhile, I want to live my life with purpose and meaning and to live it well.

June 11

Tuesday, June 11th, 2024

Truth disclosure: I am writing this on Monday afternoon.  You will see why in just a moment.

I just spent an incredible couple of hours with some inspiring people. I met Gavin probably close to 10 years or so ago at the Y.  Just a few days prior to that he had just lost his sister when a box truck mowed her down while cycling.  Until then I did not know him or his sister.

Fast forward to the middle of 2023 and in walk Gavin, Jenna and their children to a church service. I knew they were going to another church and my philosophy/policy is never to be accused of being a “sheep stealer.” They were accompanied by their other children who immediately went to our children’s department and loved it! In their arms was a little girl they named Gigi. Oh, I forgot to tell you that they have three biological children (all boys), adopted two children they had fostered, were fostering another cute little girl and were also fostering Gigi. The one was given back to mom within the past month, but Gigi was a special child. In more ways than one. She is one of most smiling children I have ever seen with the brightest blue eyes you will lay eyes on (pun intended). Those bright blue eyes have a special trait which identifies her as a child with Williams Syndrome (I encourage you to look it up on your own).  Thanks to Jenna’s fighting for her, Gigi was given a fighting chance to live. And live she does! She is two years old now-a little small for her age but quickly developing a personality all her own and slowly learning to walk and talk. When Gavin and Jenna began attending the church I pastor (Owen Valley Christian Fellowship) we immediately began praying for her and for them.

This morning at 10:00, Gigi officially became Gloria Jane (_____). “Gloria” because she is a light to the world. “Jane” because that is her birth mother’s middle name. What a joy it was to be there and to witness the love they have for her, but also her sibling’s love for her. They asked if I would support them in prayer since Gavin’s mother, who is a medical doctor and the pastor of a local church, could not be there. I was honored to do so. And then I noticed she was able to make it and whether they had asked or not, I would have gladly stepped aside for her to pray. Afterwards, Jo and I were invited to a cookout at their house. It was fun meeting some of their friends and extended family.

Gavin and Jenna are perfect examples of Christ-followers who feel about children the way Jesus feels. There is no doubt that Jesus had a warm, tender heart toward children that knew no bounds. The way we treat children today has to truly break His heart. To see children thrown away as unwanted has to make Him cringe. And weep. To see them abused and mistreated surely makes His blood boil. Thank you Gavin and Jenna for showing Jesus by loving children and making them your own.  I’m glad I was able to be a witness to this act of love.

June 3 (extra)

Monday, June 3rd, 2024

Happy Birthday Tami!

49 years ago God blessed Jo & me with a bundle of joy. When the doctor came to me to tell me that mom and baby were fine, I asked him what it was. He said, “A little girl.” I replied, “Oh.” I guess I took for granted I would have a son. 🙂  But that initial disappointment quickly dispelled when I saw you and held you. Your mom had too many tubes in her arms to hold you so I was privileged to feed you and hold you, i.e. feel like I was going to break you in half. A head full of dark hair (I think you took all of mine) and little fingers that wrapped tightly around mine sealed the deal (as if I would have changed anything). What a joy it has been to be your dad as I have watched you grow from the little baby to a sports-minded (even though it is the Braves) beautiful young lady who gave her heart to Jesus and continues to serve Him. I wouldn’t trade one second of your 49 years for any amount of money in the world.

You are not around today since you decided to take a relaxing (and much needed) vacation to TN to visit old friends and to be alone to recoup after a brutal school year full of health and professional challenges. Just know this: even though miles separate us today, love has no boundaries. I am proud of the lady you have become. The Christ-follower. The daughter. The friend to others. The teacher who truly cares about her students. The person kids love and look up to because you made them each feel important. You have a gift and I’m glad to see God is using it, because you are letting Him.

I love you. Thanks for letting me be your dad.

January 30

Tuesday, January 30th, 2024

I’m celebrating today. My bride of 50.7 years has a birthday today. They say it is not wise to ask or tell a woman’s age so I won’t. I’ll just it is somewhere between 72 and 74. You do the math. 🙂

Just to show you what kind of woman she is: I was going to surprise her with a trip to Ohio to see our daughter and grandson. Things didn’t turn out so well. He is with his dad this week so after baseball practice (over at 8 p.m.) he will head off to his dad’s. Janna’s significant other has to work so that would leave the three of us (which would have been okay). Braden has baseball practice until 8 Wednesday morning then has to be back at school by 10 for class. That would make for a very short “wham-thank-you-ma’m” breakfast. Then Jo saw it was supposed to snow in Ohio (90%) and that scared her off. So I cancelled the hotel reservation. To top it off, I started losing my voice by the time the second service was done and I ended up with the creeping crud. Coughing. Sneezing. Aching. Lots and lots of sleep. (I haven’t been like this in years so it is a strange experience). So…not much of a birthday.

But she took it all in stride, much like she has during our 50+ years of marriage. While there have been moments of frustration (as in all marriages), I could not have asked for a better helpmate. I read the following this morning:

Adam was created first, then Eve was made to fill a void in his existence. Adam was the head; Eve was his helper. Adam was designed to be a father, provider, protector, and leader. Eve was designed to be a mother, comforter, nurturer, and helper  (40 Lives in 40 Days- MacArthur- p.62)

Jo has always been there. The above words fit her to a “T.” They are not misogynistic or any other “istic” or “phobic” you can come up with. I can give her no greater compliment that to say she was just like Eve: a filler of empty space; a helper who stuck with me through thick and thin; a mother who gave her all to our two daughters, but also allowed them to fly (and she is still there if they need her). Well done, my dear, well done.

Now…if I can only get her to read what I wrote about her I might win some brownie points. 🙂

June 19

Monday, June 19th, 2023

I am a blessed man! Things haven’t always gone as I would have liked them to, but as I look back-just over this past weekend alone-I can see God’s hand in my life.

Proverbs 19:21 says, “Many are the plans in the mind of men, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” (ESV)

Life has taken some unexpected twists and turns over my 70.8 years, but as I look back, while I may not have the financial stability I wish I had (hindsight sure is 20/20), I can see God’s hand in my life. This past weekend reminded me of that fact.

As I watched by grandson play the game he loves (baseball), I thought back to my own dream of being a professional baseball player which never materialized for obvious reasons (one because I wasn’t good enough).  I see my life flash before my eyes as I watch him play with a dream of playing ball in college and maybe the pros. We took a 4 hour trip (one way) to watch him play 3 ballgames…and were blessed with fantastic weather the whole time.  I wonder where I would be today if God has fulfilled my childhood dream of playing baseball as a professional.

I certainly would not have celebrated 50 years of marriage (6/16) with the girl I met in college. I would not have gone to that college to pursue a life of full-time ministry as a pastor.  It only follows that had I not met Jo, I would not be the father of two daughters. Before we left for Ohio, I saw one of my daughters off to visit some friends in one city,  and then attend a conference to help her learn some new things and to become an even better teacher for her K kids (she already is a good teacher) in another city.  I had the chance to visit the other daughter, the mother of my grandson.  I have been doubly blessed with them.

This past Sunday, nine men stood before the church family and shared their hearts about a man in the Bible whom they emulate or want to be like. I’m grateful for a church that allows for variety without a bunch of hype tied to it. A simple presentation by men who stepped out of their comfort zone to speak publicly. (You can watch it on YouTube. Just type in Owen Valley Christian Fellowship-Spencer).

There are so many more I could tell you, like a simple bike ride of 17+ miles on Father’s Day which gave me the opportunity to get out and sweat and enjoy a carefree 1.5 hours. I will repeat: I am a blessed man and am grateful for the life God has given me. Once again that verse from Proverbs 19:21 plays in my mind: “Many are the plans in the mind of men, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”

How about you? How have you been blessed and have you stopped to write it down so you can replay the blessings when needed?

May 30

Tuesday, May 30th, 2023

With yesterday being Memorial Day, we should have stopped to remember and be thankful for the men and women who served our country to preserve our freedoms. I hope you did.

I recently read a story that is all about remembering. I’ve been reading No Reason to Hide by Erwin Lutzer and he tells the following story:

Millions of mothers can be called heroes. One such is Sonya, who entered into an abusive marriage at 13, and later separated from her husband. She never did learn to read, but she was passionate that her children learn to do so.

She had two son, Curtis and Benjamin. Ben was 8, his brother, Curtis, was 10 when their parents divorced. Sonya worked 2-3 jobs at a time, leaving their small apartment at 5:00 a.m. to go to work, and not coming home until midnight.

When the brothers came home with poor grades, she instituted a strict change. She limited her sons’ TV time and they couldn’t go outside until their schoolwork was done.

Sonya could not have predicted her son Ben would become a famous pediatric surgeon. He performed the first reported separation of twins who were joined at the back of the head. He was an esteemed professor of neurosurgery, oncology, plastic surgery, and pediatrics at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine.

Ben Carson always paid tribute to his mother and credits her fervent dedication to him and his brother for their success.{Pages 230-231- Edited for space}

I wonder what Sonya Carson would think of today’s philosophy of allowing the schools to determine what a child is taught. The battle raging today over who should have the say over children-school or parents-is not one Sonya would have tolerated. I firmly believe it is the parent’s responsibility to teach our children, not the schools. The ungodly philosophy taught in our schools, and hiding it from the parents, or even in direct opposition to them, makes my blood boil. Okay…down from the soapbox.

I leave you with this today: we may never know the influence we have now, or down the road. But let’s make sure it is a good one.

May 18

Thursday, May 18th, 2023

I’m continuing my devotional series on women in the Bible whom ladies from OVCF talked about on Mother’s Day.

Lady #1- Mary of Bethany

Lady #2- Tamar

Lady #3- Sarah

Lady #4- Lydia

Today is Lady #5

Last night-in fact, a lot nights this past month or so-Jo and I have spent at the local sports complex watching boys and girls playing ball. It seems as if once or twice a week for the past month we have been at the complex walking from field to field (there are 8 of them), watching children of all ages play ball and often chatting with their parents. To make this a bit more interesting is the fact that I have read to 5 different Kindergarten classes for this past school year and some of those students are playing ball. “Hi Mr. Bill!” are words I hear often. I know their faces but only see the close to 100+ students 1/month, so I’m often clueless as to all their names.

What strikes me, of course, is the amount of time the parents give to their children. Some of them are at the park 2-3 times a week. Some may even sleep there! 🙂 Does their child realize the sacrifice their parent is making for them?  (Have you ever watched T-ball? Then you know exactly what I mean). 🙂 🙂

Probably not.

That sacrifice seems minor in comparison to the one Hannah made. Childless in a society that looked down on childlessness, she begged God for a child. Eli, the priest at the time, thought she was drunk and when she corrected his accusation, he pronounced that God would give her an answer. That answer was Samuel.

There was one caveat. Hannah had promised that if God would give her a son, he would be given to God for His service. When Samuel was weaned, she gave him to God and Eli to fulfill her promise.

WOW! A long-awaited answer to a longing and a prayer given away. I wonder how she felt. This is my opinion here, but I believe that while she ached to give her son to the Lord, she also knew she had made a promise. Samuel became a stalwart figure in the history of Israel.

The story doesn’t end there. Elkanah, the husband, was with her on keeping that vow. They also had 3 more sons and 2 daughters. Not bad for a woman whose womb had been closed and was the object of ridicule by Elkanah’s other wife (Peninnah).  {My note: I wouldn’t brag about that name. Just sayin’…}

Hannah made a promise; kept that promise and reaped the favor of God. I’m not saying making and keeping a promise will always turn out like this, but I do know, and can say, that one can ever go wrong keeping a promise to God.

Ask Hannah. (For more of this story, see I Samuel 1-2).

October 19

Thursday, October 20th, 2022

There are some commercials I have trouble watching. To be fair, I (or have Jo hit) the mute button when commercials do come one, but there are some I refuse to watch. This time of the year are the interminable ones on open enrollment, i.e. Medicare/Medicaid. UGH! And the actors they use who don’t have to worry about things! Another one I can barely stomach is the save-the-pets one. Not because I don’t have a heart for the dogs (and maybe cats 🙂 ). The ladies voice is so…put on…so drab…so annoying. It’s not that I have a heart of stone. I can’t explain it. Maybe it’s because if a pro-life commercial was made with ultrasounds and life it would probably be cancelled, because after all, animals are more important than babies.

Okay…off soapbox.

But there is one group of commercials I watch one time and mute them when they come on. The children. The children with cancer.  You know…the St Jude ones. They wrench my heart out. I watch; I tear up. Guaranteed. We have friends of a family in church who have a 4 y/o boy with a brain tumor-a glioma- that without a miracle from God will probably not see age 5.

My highest praise goes out to those doctors and nurses who see them every day, but keep on. My highest praise goes to the pregnancy centers who talk about life for all-born and unborn. My highest praise goes to those who take children in through fostering or adoption because they love children and want to give them a chance in life.

Jesus once said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.” (Mt. 19:14 NLT)

Children are a precious gift from God. In Jesus’ day they were add-ons, often without care, and certainly without a “place.” Jesus changed all that. He rocked the Greek and Roman world with His love and stand for children (I suspect even the disciples raised their eyebrows a few times). He gave them importance.

“Father, may I never forget Jesus once said I was to become like a child in my acceptance of you. May I never brush them off or hurt their hearts by my words or actions.”

February 22

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2022

Never underestimate the power of influence. In particular, early influence.

First, a little background. I grew up in a somewhat divided home. My mom wanted to be a missionary but then she met my dad.  I told her once she fulfilled her dream to be a missionary: she raised 4 boys who love Jesus. She did that in spite of some very poor cooperation from my dad. Not that he was antagonistic, an atheist, or anything like that. He never once told us we couldn’t go to church (except when the weather was bad during a Pennsylvania winter).  He wasn’t even uncooperative. Over the long haul his faith just wasn’t very important to him. To my mom, though, her faith was everything. And she did all she could to teach us and to take us to church.

My biggest influence? My grandfather, mom’s dad. Those early years spent with him, walking to church with him were like gold to me. Lots of teaching went into those 3-4 mile walks.

My mind went back to those early days this morning as I read 2 Timothy 3: 14-17: “You, however, continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith, which is in Christ Jesus.” (You can read the rest on your own). Paul was reminding Timothy of his upbringing and that from childhood he knew the Scriptures. He tells us elsewhere who was responsible for that. Not his father. His mother and grandmother.

I’m grateful for my mother and my grandfather’s faith. I’m grateful they passed it on to me. Never underestimate the influence of early and consistent teaching.

“Father, thank You for that early influence. Help me to continue pouring my faith into my daughters, my grandson and other young people.”