Surrender

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August 6

Tuesday, August 6th, 2024

Knowing whom to trust is absolutely essential to navigating life.

And, of course, following on the heels of that statement is another one: knowing whom to trust is not always easy. Case in point: shysters who put on a good front of being reputable, but they are found as being liars and deceivers. How many people do we know or read about who lost tons of money, sometimes their life savings, due to someone who pretended they were trustworthy?

In my own profession (pastor), time after time we read stories of deception, immorality, abuse, gossip, theft, etc. all coming from one who deceived, lied and covered up their true intentions. Sadly, someone who was supposed to be trustworthy.

A young boy we have been praying for close to two years has a brain tumor, a gioblastoma. M has lived two years this September since being diagnosed, but the effects of the spreading cancer and steroids has taken its toll. A little over 2 months ago this little 6 year old suffered a stroke, but he refuses to give up. This past Sunday M was baptized by his dad. I baptized the dad and then (with help from his wife) he baptized their son. We baptize by immersion and it was the parent’s request and met with M’s approval. I can be heard on the video (which I did not know was being recorded) telling M to “trust your dad.” Dad held him close to his chest and went under the water with him (as did mom).

“Trust your dad.” M relied on his father’s strength to hold him close both above and below the water. He trusted because he knew his father was trustworthy and was not going to allow anything to happen to him. We too have a Father we can trust. He has been, is now, and always will be completely and wholly trustworthy. That’s because He is a good, good Father. It is absolutely essential we place ourselves into His hands. You see…we don’t need to know everything when we are with someone we trust.

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July 16

Tuesday, July 16th, 2024

One last devotion…(I think). 🙂

The past week or so of devotions here at “Shadow” I have been writing and telling you about a book that had a profound impact on me-Out of the Blue by Greg Murtha. (Those dates are July 9, 10, 11, and 15). At the age of 46, Greg, a healthy runner and athlete, go-to leader, husband and father, was stricken with Agressive Stage III Colon Cancer. He endured 95 chemo treatments over 5 years, but on June 22, 2017 he “moved to the front of the line” to use his words. He completed his book on June 15th in room 8637 of Vanderbilt University Medical Center’s CCU.

As I finished reading his book for the second time (the first I barely remember), I was overwhelmed with emotion. I shed some tears for a life well-lived, but also because it struck close to home. Not me. I just lost a friend to cancer and another has brain cancer. This book chronicling his thoughts and actions of the last 5 years of his life deeply and profoundly impacted me and caused me to stop and evaluate my own life.

I once read that Joni, the well-known Christ-follower who has been a quadriplegic for over 50 years, was once asked if she would change anything. She said, “No. I thank God for the accident and my wheelchair.” (edited by me). Several times Greg said virtually the same thing, i.e. he was thankful for the cancer that totally changed his life. It slowed him down. It woke him to the needs of others. It brought him to the point of listening to God. He would go for treatment, into a store, into a room and notice people most would miss-people who needed a hug, or who were hurting, had tears in their eyes, or simply needed a word of encouragement, or a prayer. And he was not ashamed to offer that.

He wrote the following:

“I’m learning that being present in the moment is what is important. Being the church wherever I am-that’s what matters. Listening to the prompting of the Holy Spirit is paramount to living a life of adventure.” (p. 160)

I’ll close by simply saying that I want that. Healthy or not I want to be present in the moment. I want to be the church, a representative of Christ, where I am and to whomever I come across. Will you join me?

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July 15

Monday, July 15th, 2024

“Every man dies. Not every man lives.” (William Wallace in Braveheart)

I can remember the first time I watched Braveheart. I was working my way through the book Wild at Heart by John Eldredge and I was being challenged to be really alive and how many men miss doing just that. I found myself reminiscing and asking myself if I had ever felt really alive. My answer is private but my reaction to the quote revolutionized how I looked at life from the point on. I have been posting about reading Greg Murtha’s book, Out of the Blue. In chapter 12, titled “My Final Chapter” Greg opened up with this blurb: When I check out of hotel Earth, please don’t say, ‘Greg lost his battle with cancer.’ That will not be the truth. No, when that time comes, when I get to the front of the line, it will be a point in time when I have never been more alive, and it will be an epic win.” (p.183)

39 year-old Dietrich Bonhoeffer, theologian and opponent of Nazism, had these last words: “This is the end. For me, the beginning of life.”  (Murtha-p.188)

“A camp doctor who witnessed Bonhoeffer’s hanging described the scene: ‘Through the half-open door in one room of the huts, I saw Pastor Bonhoeffer, before taking off his prison garb, kneeling on the floor praying fervently to his God. I was most deeply moved by the way this lovable man prayed, so devout and so certain that God heard his prayer. At the place of execution, he again said a prayer and then climbed the steps to the gallows, brave and composed. His death ensued in a few seconds. In the almost 50 years that I have worked as a doctor, I have hardly ever seen a man die so entirely submissive to the will of God.'” (Murtha-p.188)

What gives Greg and what gives Bonhoeffer the ability to face death as they did? Perhaps you know of some who looked at death the very same way. On the other hand, I suspect we all know people who were fearful of death. In my over 50 years as a pastor I have seen both. And I would much rather see the one who has no fear of death. For the follower of Christ, death is the doorway to life.

When I die, I want the door swung wide open. I’m bringing my bike along (well…not literally).  I certainly can’t dance so I hope He will let me ride. 🙂  I don’t want a mournful memorial; I want a celebration.  While you are at it, take a moment to listen to this song.

 

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July 10

Wednesday, July 10th, 2024

I posted yesterday about rereading Greg Murtha’s book, Out of the Blue. You can read that post here. In fact, I would encourage you to read it if you haven’t already done so, or to reread it to give yourself a “refresher course.” 🙂  If you are like me these days, it is way too easy to forget.

Now that you have reread that post, I’d like to continue my thoughts. In his book You Gotta Keep Dancin’, the late Tim Hansel closed with the following quote:

“There is no box made by God nor us but that the sides can be flattened out and the top blown off to make a dance floor on which to celebrate life.” (Kenneth Caraway)

As I have been rereading Greg’s marvelous book, I was reminded of that quote, especially after the closing quote by Hunter S. Thompson.  Tim also quotes someone named Sister Corita: “To believe in God is to know that all the rules will be fair-and that there will be many surprises!”  If there is one thing (among many) I know about God is that He is unpredictable. Ya just never know what He has on His plate for you. There are some things about God that never change. I stand firmly on the truth of His character and His Word. But I also know God works in ways I don’t expect.  I don’t always understand His ways or His purposes, but I trust Him to do what is best. Sometimes I balk at it. Sometimes I mope. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I scream. Sometimes I rant and rave.

But above it all I know He is in charge and knows what is best.  I also know He is trying to mold me into the best version of Him I can become. He wants me to be more like Jesus. Sheldon Vanauken, the author of A Severe Mercy, wrote the following:

The best argument for Christianity is Christians: their joy, their certainty, their completeness. But the strongest argument against Christianity is also Christians-when they are somber and joyless, when they are self-righteous and smug in complacent consecration, when they are narrow and repressive, then Christianity dies a thousand deaths. (Murtha-p.xv-xvi)

I admit to being one of the smug, self-righteous, arrogant, narrow-minded (only if you agree with my camp will you make it to heaven) “Christians.” I have written before about how I rue that day and wish I could back to every church I preached at and every person I ever offended by my attitude and apologize. That is impossible, of course, but it still bugs me nonetheless.  I may be 71 but I still want God to do His work in and through me. I’m not ready to hang my hat by the door and leave it there.  I don’t know what the future holds…no one does. But as Doc Brown tells Marty and Jennifer at the end of Back to the Future III when talking about the future: “No one’s future has been written yet (I would disagree with that on biblical grounds), but make it a good one, both of you.”

That is indeed my prayer. I hope it will be yours also.  Let’s kick out those walls and dance.

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July 9

Tuesday, July 9th, 2024

“You have Aggressive Stage III cancer.”

So you are told. It soon develops into Stage IV. No, that is not me. Sorry if you panicked as you read that. Well over 3 years ago-I’m thinking pre-pandemic- I read a book called Out of the Blue by Greg Murtha. Greg was a 46 year old man in the peak of physical condition (so he thought) when after an 11 mile run through Crocket Hills Trail in Middle Tennessee his life changed. Afterward, sweating but pumped he headed for the bathroom at the YMCA. That’s when his life changed. It appeared as if someone had poured a container of bright-rid blood into the toilet. He realized instantly, This is not good.  And it wasn’t. The diagnosis was a gut punch to use his words.

I have begun to reread the book. Not because I have cancer (at least not that I’m aware of) but because some people who are close to me do.  A friend. Friends of friends. People connected to the church. I needed, no wanted, some perspective. I remembered Greg’s book was uplifting and brought a whole new perspective to the cancer battle so as I was scanning through books for a future sermons series my eyes locked onto his book.  After reading the Introduction and first 21 pages I have already been reminded why reading it is a good idea. To quote Greg: “Don’t feel sorry for me. Strange as it sounds, I view cancer as a gift. I thank God for it because it means I’m not the man I used to be. Sure, this interruption to my well-planned life was jarring. And chemo is hell. But I’m thankful for cancer because it has given me the ability to focus on what matters.” (p.7)

That struck me. Being a typical male, I am sort of locked onto that “success syndrome” so many get attached to. It is not as bad as it used to be. At 71, while I want to continue being a part of advancing God’s kingdom, I also know my best days are probably behind me due to stamina and strength. But, to be honest, my heart burns more for Jesus than it did in my younger years. Maybe it is because of my age. I don’t know.  But a Bob Goff quote fits here: “God’s more interested in our hearts than our plans.” (p.7-8).  My dreams, goals and aspirations have never been realized, at least not to the scale I wanted them to. That is a good thing. But I wouldn’t trade my life for any amount of money or earthly applause. I realize now what is most important. (Took me long enough!) 🙂

I hope I don’t get cancer or any other life-threatening disease. Cancer runs in my family (mother and grandmother died of it. Two brothers have and had it). But if I do, I hope I can run that race with grace. I’ll write more tomorrow but let me leave you with this quote from Greg’s book:

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, ‘WOW!’ (Hunter S. Thompson quoted on page xviii)

‘Nuff said.  Oh…As always, I welcome your comments.

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July 8

Monday, July 8th, 2024

Do you know what a kissing cousin is? Please don’t give the obvious answer. 🙂

No. A kissing cousin is an idea, thought or action that is similar to or often goes hand-in-hand with another. For today’s devotion, I thought of two words/emotions which are kissing cousins: Fear and worry.

We all know what it is like to be gripped by fear. It can paralyze us. It can make us irrational. It can make us combative. Fear can also freeze us in our place, make our mouth go dry and send chills up and down our spine. Watch a really scary movie and take note of your reaction. (I’d rather not thank you very much).

Fear has a kissing cousin: worry. They often work in tandem. This past weekend I was speaking with a young man and he was talking about the company he worked for. I talked about the commercials I have seen and how well done they are and how they show people working together. Happily, he praised the PR/advertising folks and he also talked about their product and how he liked working for them. Then he made a sobering statement which set me back.  He said the economists with the company were predicting a recession, a slowdown in the economy at the end of ’24 and the beginning of ’25. In fact, they said it was going to be worse than the recession of ’08. My first reaction was one of “Oh boy.” Not positive but negative. Part of me wanted to hunker down; part of me said, “What am I afraid of?” As the pastor of a church that wants to-needs to-and he been planning and saving for an expansion for over 4 years, I started thinking, “Is that wise?” “Should we stop saving and planning?” “Should we become ultra-conservative?” “Should we continue saving and keep waiting to see what happens?  (Fun fact: we have been saving over 4 years because our plans have always been to build as we have the money),

Fear and worry can paralyze us. Corporately. Individually. The truth is we have nothing to fear. As people used to say a lot in the recent past: “God’s got this.”

Fear and worry take a back seat when I believe that He is in control and that I trust Him. Instead of letting fear and worry hold hands in the back seat, let’s put them in separate car seats. Better yet, let’s banish them completely.

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July 1

Monday, July 1st, 2024

“You take the high road and I’ll take the high road.” 

Of course, that is not how it goes. Frankly, only in a song does anyone want to take the low road.  That’s like saying, “You take the mountain and I’ll take the valley” says no on ever. Most people want to stay on the mountain top and not find themselves in the valley.

However, consider what Billy Graham is credited with saying: “Mountaintops are for views and inspiration, but fruit is grown in the valleys.” Growth in our character and relationships, both with others and with God, often occur in the valley. It is nice to be on the mountaintop where inspiration and nearness can be fostered, but it is in the valley where we find our “true faith.” Maybe the better way to put it is in the valley we find out how real our faith is.

On the mountaintop it is easy to have the answers.  Things are good. Life is good. In many ways, life is also easy. We find a “big” God, One who says He can meet all our needs. It is easy to believe that when we are “in the clouds.” I would go away to camp or some youth conference and sense God’s presence as never before. But when I got back home and got back into the trenches is where I found out whether what I believed and experienced was true or not. I found out if the God I worshiped on the mountaintop was the same God in the valley.  Is God sufficient for all my needs? Is God’s strength able to sustain me when things aren’t looking so good or when life gets a tad bit rough?

We won’t find out the answers to those questions by staying on the mountaintop-no matter how much we like it there.  “Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can understand the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall into exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:28-31 NLT)

The only way to learn the truth of those words is in the valley. Don’t fear the valley. 

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June 19

Wednesday, June 19th, 2024

In my daily reading through the New Testament, I have hit the book of Revelation. Ironically, I will finish a series of preaching on Revelation during the months of July and August. I’m not bragging. I started it in January of 2023. Yes, you read that right. 2023! 🙂 I interrupted it a lot but decided I need to finish it. Anyway…I read chapters 2 & 3 yesterday and today. If I had a guess I would say those two chapters may be the most preached-on section of Revelation.

Those two chapters contain the letters to the seven churches: Ephesus, Smyrna, Pergamum, Thyatira, Sardis, Philadelphia, and Laodicea. Here is a short synopsis:

  • All have a pastor- “The the angel of church…”
  • All but one (Laodicea) have something good said about them.
  • Two have good but no wrong said about them (Smyrna and Philadelphia)
  • All are fighting false teachers/teachings except Sardis and Laodicea.

I would suspect Laodicea hits us the hardest in our day and age. “I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish you were one or the other. But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.” Rev. 3:15-16 (NLT)

When I cycle, I carry two insulated bottles on my bike. One is filled with water; the other is filled with some type of electrolyte drink. I freeze them ahead of time so I have a cold drink on the ride. Every once in a while I will misjudge the water thawing. The electrolyte replacement drink gets consumed first, then comes the water. But occasionally, the water has lost its ice and is lukewarm. I tell myself, “At least its wet,” but it is blah and so unsatisfying I can’t wait to finish and get a real drink of cold, fresh water.

The letter to the church at Ephesus was not a compliment, it was a judgment. But with the judgment comes a reminder: “Get with the program. Stop faking it. Stop riding the fence. I’m knocking asking you to let me in. If you do, and set your heart on me, I’ll be glad to have you join Me at a meal.”

To sit with Him at a meal, to chat with Him; to discuss life with Him, sounds really good! I think I’ll take Him up on His offer to catch fire.

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June 5

Wednesday, June 5th, 2024

One of the hardest things for most of us to do, i.e. yours truly, is to surrender. Coming in first is so ingrained in us that coming in second is not seen as an option. Athletes are taught to win and most often, win at all costs. I have no doubt that type of thinking is behind the use of performance enhancing drugs (PEDs). We want to win! No, we HAVE to win!

This battle doesn’t even have to play out on the baseball field or basketball court or at an Olympic event. It can be seen in the classroom. A home. While driving (can anyone say road rage?). Even a store. It is seen in a battle of wills. “I will not bend to your rules.” Is that not what temper tantrums are all about? I was in a grocery story last week and I saw this fleshed out in front of me. I watched a mother and son battle it out. He could not have been older than 3.  He wanted. She said no. He still wanted and she still said no. He knocked things off the shelf in defiance. She bent to pick them up. He took off with the cart and she went after him. I saw some fire in her eyes. (I also know the solution to that but I’m guessing that would not have been a good time to tell her. 🙂 ). I wonder if she was trying gentle parenting? Aaaah but that is a story for another time.

In Genesis 32 (take a moment to read verses 22-32) we have a titanic-type battle-a wrestling match between Jacob and God. What a classic story worth taking a closer look at. Perhaps tomorrow.

Until then, yours and my best reaction to the battle of wills is surrender. To stop fighting God for supremacy. Jacob was a head-strong, conniving, devious man. That’s the story of his whole life up until the wrestling match. Only a surrender to God will change that.

Sounds familiar.  

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May 21

Tuesday, May 21st, 2024

SIZE REALLY DOESN’T MATTER.

I’ve come to that settled conclusion. Now, lest someone get the very wrong idea that saying is a risque’ comment, let me correct you from the get-go.  Some can accuse me of clickbait with that comment, but let no one think I’m being off-color. Not even close.

For years I lived and breathed size. Church size. The bigger the church, the better it looked for me. Man, how wrong I was!! Obsessed with having a big church, I attended all the church growth seminars/conferences. I heard “How to break the 200/300 barrier” or “How to grow to this size” more than I care to admit. I heard, ad infinitum ad nauseum, how I needed to move from being a pastor to being a vision-casting, rule-making, control-freaking, domineering-leaning, take-it-or-leave-it pastor. Oops, I mean CEO. The title “pastor” no longer meant shepherd; it meant “I’m the boss and you’ll do it my way, accept my vision, agree to follow or don’t let the door hit you on the way out” kind of leader.  Can I scream now or later?

To my shame, I bought into that, BUT FORTUNATELY God knew my heart and personality better than I did at that time and knew I would NEVER feel comfortable sitting in an elevated chair of pomposity. The Scriptures also had a devastating effect on me: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” (Js. 4:6).  “Haughty eyes, a proud heart, and evil actions are all sin.” (Pr. 21:4) And here is one that came true: “No human wisdom or understanding or plan can stand against the Lord.” (Pr. 21:30)

As I said that latter one came true. It’s called being fired or in softer terms: Being strongly encouraged to move on.  God knew where my heart was. It was not in riding herd on sheep; it was not in trying to “beat them” into submission; it was not in threats or ultimatums; it WAS in being a shepherd. In loving the people in my care. In caring for them. In crying with them. In laughing with them. In doing life with them. In praying with and for them.

“Thank you Lord, that no one can stand against Your plans, especially me. I’m satisfied with a small church and people I love.  I would much rather be in a small church contented and knowing I am in Your will than in a much bigger church where I sound like a noisy gong and a clanging cymbal. I will forever be grateful for your reality check over 20 years ago.”

{Note: All Scripture is from the New Living Translation}

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