Trials
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Wednesday, June 11th, 2025
As I continue reading Unbroken Faith by Diane Dokko Kim- her book on having an autistic child who was also diagnosed with ADHD/ADD at the age of 2 and the crisis it brought personally, professionally, and spiritually- my eyes are continually being opened wider. Here is one example why:
“A rogue wave called autism had struck, leaving me sputtering with shock and indignity. In its wake, I was swept along into a career change I never signed up for: full-time caregiver, case manager, disability advocate, and traffic controller. Now my days were spent floundering amidst the waves of therapeutic professionals who cycled in and out of our home, specialists I’d never heard of before with a dizzying array of acronyms: LSW, ABA, OT, SLP, BCBA. Daily, for forty hours a week, as soon as one wave rolled out, another rolled in.”
“Dipping into the reserves of a faith bottomed out, I sagely accepted my new calling: Help the Poor Child. A forced perma-smile betrayed clenched teeth that gritted out my new mantra. “I’m trusting God. I’m trusting God. I’m trusting God…” But inside, I was wrecked. Our son was cognitively disabled; I was now spiritually crippled. Both of us needed urgent and intensive intervention. But therapists only came for him.” (pp.39-40)
It was that latter phrase which struck me: They both needed intervention but therapists only came for him. That is a common problem I have encountered when I have talked with people of special-needs children. The child gets the attention, but what about the parent, the caregiver? It is sort of like the pastor who gives and gives without taking time off and then finally finds himself burned out, having an affair, or needing a therapist because of depression. Many parents of special-needs children are forgotten amidst the difficulty of their lives. Diane is not afraid to admit it led to a real crisis in her faith and she hit rock bottom. The sad part is there will be those “Christians” who will chide her or condemn her or think less of her because she is willing to admit that. IMHO that is one of the first steps needed to be taken for healing to begin.
My takeaway: instead of condemning or even opening our mouth, perhaps a listening ear or a sympathetic “Here, let me carry that load with you for awhile” is what is needed. While the attention is rightfully on the child, let’s not lose sight of the parent(s) who are also struggling and often feeling abandoned. I personally believe that is exactly what Jesus would have done.
Jo, Tami and I are leaving for Ohio today and will be back in town on Saturday after watching Braden (grandson/nephew) play a few games of baseball. I’m not sure about posting tomorrow but your prayers for safe travel sure would be appreciated.
Posted in InTheShadow | 12 Responses »
Tags: Christian Living, Faith/Feelings, God, God's Plan, Love, Mercy, Ministry, Opinion, Perseverance, Reflection, Story, Suffering, Trials
Tuesday, June 10th, 2025
I’ve been reading some more from Unbroken Faith by Diane Dokko Kim. I’d like to pass along some thoughts she had that I highlighted in my reading (she has a special needs son diagnosed with autism):
“We grieve the loss of what could have been. Our Father understands and grieves with us. Yet for every parent who mourns, the ultimate Abba is also at work to exchange beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning (Isaiah 61:3). God understands our heartache, but He does far more than that. He redeems it.” (p.17)
When visiting a place of amusement, the clashing of sounds, the odors of french fries, perfume, and diesel fuel proved to be too much for their son. Fifty feet past the entrance their son began to gag and his body revolted, thrashing him against the concrete. Gone was the chance for a good time at the park and her husband dragged their son back to the minivan where he lashed out at his dad, and dad lashed out at his Father. Her description of that scene was followed by a quote: “Nobody gets through a broken world unbroken.” (p.35. Spoken by Dr. Ed Stetzer)
Finally: “When grief depletes us of reason and we lash out blindly, our Father enfolds us in safety. When we push and pull away in bitterness and blame, He endures our outbursts with longsuffering. He suffers and grieves our losses with us. He is strong enough to contain our rage, compassionate enough to quell it, and magnanimous enough to overlook it. He is big enough to handle our meltdowns without taking offense and does not treat us as our sins deserve. He forgive us, for He knows we know not what we do.” (p.37)
Mrs. Kim has said a lot in the pages I have read, but those are just 3 highlights. I’m looking forward to reading more and hopefully sharing it with you. What I have written here today I pray will help you in some way. It did me. Was there any one quote that spoke to your heart this morning?
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Tags: Christian Living, God, God's Plan, Ministry, Opinion, Perseverance, Reflection, Story, Suffering, Trials
Monday, June 9th, 2025
Last night I picked up a book to begin reading entitled Unbroken Faith by Diane Dokko Kim. I confess of never having heard of her before but the subject of the book intrigued me. It is subtitled “Spiritual Recovery for the special-needs parent.” I have only read the foreword by Joni Eareckson Tada, a quad since she had a swimming accident as a teenager. And I have read the Introduction by Mrs. Kim. What drew me to the book were several things: First, we have several who have special-needs kids, some of them on the spectrum. In fact, one recently found out both her twin boys are on the spectrum. Second, I would like to know some answers as to how I can help them. Since I have had two girls who have not had special needs, my hands are tied in understanding and helping. But I want to learn how I can help these parents as their pastor. This book comes highly recommended so I look forward to learning.
I was struck by an opening quote used between the foreword and the introduction. Just one simple line:
The world breaks everyone and afterward some are strong at the broken places. Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms.
Hemingway definitely had his demons, as do we all. Sadly, his demons led him to take his own life. He was broken but failed to take his own advice and get stronger. That is not a put-down of Mr. Hemingway, but an observation based on knowing others like him. I suspect if not for my faith, I may have felt like that a time or two myself. I never, ever had the urge to end my life, but I have been down in the dumps from time to time. Fortunately, my extroverted, positive personality hasn’t let me stay in the shadows for very long. Even when I lost my job a couple of times, I never fell that low.
My faith tells me that I am being tested to come out stronger. The Apostle Peter wrote, “There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold-though your faith is far more precious that mere gold.” (I Peter 1:6-7 NLT) What Mr. Hemingway wrote is true: people can become stronger at the broken places. That is never more true than for the one who follows Christ. Let’s use our challenges, our broken places, as places to fortify ourselves and to build our faith.
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Tags: Christian Living, God's Plan, Ministry, Opinion, Perseverance, Reflection, Special Needs, Story, Suffering, Trials
Friday, June 6th, 2025
The truth is that no one is exempt from problems. Anyone who tells you that is either a kook, a liar, a false teacher, or all the above. When it come to problems there are three types of people:
- Those facing problems now
- Those who have just faced problems
- Those about to face problems
The question is not “if” but “when.” Think about your own life or those of friends or people you love. Trouble is only a phone call or an x-ray away. Job’s story seems like it might be over the top, and perhaps it is compared to many of our lives. And while we may not lose everything like he did, what we go through or are now going through is big in our eyes. That leaves us all with one common question that crops up more than you can imagine:
WHY?
My message this week will try to tackle that question. I’m going to try to look at it from an earthly perspective and also from a heavenly perspective. I certainly don’t have, won’t have, nor will be able to give all the answers, (in fact, will just touch the hem of the garment), but I am going to try to tackle the question of “Why?” I would love to have you join us in person if possible. If not, please join us via live stream. Whether in person or via live stream, we meet at 9:00 and 10:45. Send a request to join our Facebook Group at Owen Valley Christian Fellowship or view our public page at Owen Valley Christian Fellowship-Spencer, In. Or you can watch via YouTube at Owen Valley Christian Fellowship. I look forward to seeing you or hearing from you online. And let me ask you to do me a favor: please let us know you are watching and then feel free to comment-yay or nay. If you have any questions, please ask and I will get back to you. Thanks. And thanks for praying for us.
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Tags: God's Plan, Reflection, Sermon Series, Suffering, Trials, Why?
Friday, May 30th, 2025
Let me start out with a statement that I believe is irrefutable:
Understanding God sometimes is like finding a needle in a haystack.
We search and search but it just seems like a lost cause. We truly want to understand God and to have a relationship with Him but the task seems impossible. Imagine being inserted into Esther’s ongoing drama of life in the palace with an anti-Semite like Haman, or into the drama of Job’s life of losing everything then having those worthless humans called “friends” rip you apart, spout off their drivel, and blame your sin for all that is happening.
That is where we find ourselves this week in a message I have titled When All Seems Lost from Esther 6-Job 20. I will be spending some time with Esther’s feast with the king and Haman and how she “set the table” for it and also how Haman did himself no favors by his arrogance when asked how he would reward someone. The latter half of the message will be on Satan, God and Job’s so-called friends. If you are reading this and are able to attend we would love to have you. We have two services at 9:00 and 10:45. The second service has a youth program. If you are unable to attend in person, please join our live stream at the same times. Send a request to join our Facebook Group at Owen Valley Christian Fellowship or view our public page at Owen Valley Christian Fellowship-Spencer, In. Or you can watch via YouTube at Owen Valley Christian Fellowship. I look forward to seeing you or hearing from you online. And let me ask you to do me a favor: please let us know you are watching and then feel free to comment-yay or nay. If you have any questions, please ask and I will get back to you. Thanks. And thanks for praying for us.
Posted in InTheShadow | 4 Responses »
Tags: Friendship, God's Plan, Opinion, Perseverance, Reflection, Sermon Series, Trials
Wednesday, May 7th, 2025
Viktor Frankl. Douglas Groothuis (pronounced Grewties quiet “s”). What do they have in common? Viktor is a concentration camp survivor. Douglas is a philosopher who anchors all he says and believes in his faith in Jesus. Around 2014 his wife, Becky, was diagnosed with PPA (primary progressive aphasia). PPA is a rare from of dementia, worse than Alzheimer’s. It took a brilliant wordsmith and a member of the MENSA society and made her a shell. Douglas wrote a book Walking Through Twilight that I am rereading for the second time. There are several reasons, none of which are relevant to this post, so I will forego the reason. Doug is lamenting the loss he is suffering as he watches his once brilliant wife waste away to nothing. (She mercifully went home to Jesus in 2018).
He was writing at one point about visiting his wife in a psych ward (a terrible place for her). The drive to and from was about 60 miles, so visiting, while still teaching at Denver Seminary, was taxing. But he said, “God met me in those visits.” (p.12). He had been re-reading Viktor Frankl’s classic study of suffering and meaning, Man’s Search for Meaning, in which Frankl expresses that human value can be affirmed in the thick of searing suffering, as he found in Hitler’s prison camps. Be we have to change ourselves. Frankl says,
When we are no longer able to change the situation…we are challenged to change ourselves. (p.12)
But it is later that Frankl wrote what I consider to be the gem of his work:
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms-to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. (p.12)
WOW! That is a mouthful. And a heart full. While I am not one of the “positive thinking gurus” who walk around talking positivity is the answer to all of life’s questions, I do believe our attitude does play a lot in our view of life. Too many people, including those who call themselves Christ-followers, spend way to much time looking like they sucked on pickle juice for a good part of the day-or even their life. It’s the old discussion of is your glass half empty or half full. As I work my way through the book of Job in my reading, I am reminded again of Job’s perspective versus his so-called “friends.” You know the old statement “With friends like you who needs enemies”? That fits. Job didn’t need them. He needed the reassurance of God’s presence. He got it eventually. So do we. In fact, it is never failing. May your day be a reassurance of that truth.
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Tags: Choices, Dementia, Faith/Feelings, God, Opinion, Perseverance, Positive/Negative Attitude, Reflection, Suffering, Trials
Wednesday, March 26th, 2025
One of the most intriguing books in the Bible is the book of Ruth. For those who may not be too familiar with it, let me summarize it for you.
- Ruth is 4 short chapters and not one word of God, Yahweh or any other title you might want to give Him is included.
- A famine strikes the land of Israel so a Jewish man named Elimelech takes his wife, Naomi, and his two sons, Mahlon and Kilion (Chilion in some translations) to Moab. A Jew in Moab? Hmmm.
- Elimelech dies. The two boys marry Moabite women, then they both die 10 years later. Naomi, while grieving, hears that the famine is over so with nothing to live for she decides to move back to her hometown of Jerusalem. On the way she gives her two daughters-in-law a choice of returning home. Orpah returns home but Ruth goes with Naomi. Her classic response in Ruth 1:16-17 is often used in weddings because it talks about commitment.
- Ruth begins working in the fields to bring home some food for the two of them. The fields belong to a wealthy man named Boaz. Boaz offers Ruth protection from other men and also a job gleaning in his fields.
- Boaz is a relative of Elimelech and is known as a kinsman-redeemer. He offers to buy the land and with that land comes Ruth, whom he takes as his wife. The great part of that arrangement is found in Ruth 4. Naomi is given a grandson but there is more! “And they named him Obed. He became the father of Jesse and the grandfather of David.” (4:17). And if you are putting 2 + 2 together you know the rest of the story. Jesus, the Messiah, the Promised King, is from the lineage of David.
How refreshing it was to read again this story this morning. And how fantastic it was to be reminded (again) of God’s goodness and His plan and to watch it all come together. Who knew (but God) that a trip back home by a sad, defeated, and heart-broken Naomi would lead to Ruth becoming the wife of the kinsman-redeemer of Elimilech’s family. I marvel at God’s good timing and His way of working things out far beyond my ability to understand and to know. I may not always grasp the Omniscience (All-knowing) of God; I certainly don’t always understand His ways; but one thing I will drive a stake through is that He does all things well and His Word and love for me never changes. Have a blessed day my friends as you consider the teachings of Ruth. 🙂
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Tags: Christian Living, God, God's faithfulness, God's goodness, God's Plan, Opinion, Perseverance, Reflection, Ruth, Scripture look, Story, Trials, Trusting God
Tuesday, March 11th, 2025
“Be strong and courageous.”
We might say that to a high school or college graduate who is about to step out into a brand new world.
We might say that to someone who has just received a cancer diagnosis or some other disease that ravages the body.
We might say that to someone about to set out on the adventure of a lifetime-hiking, biking, marriage 🙂 , or opening their own shop.
We might say that to someone who is about to take part in a life-changing event.
Or it is something we would read in Joshua 1 where God has commissioned Joshua to lead the people of Israel across the Jordan and into the Promised Land. “Be strong and courageous…Be very strong and courageous…Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:6.7, 9 NLT) Do you think God is telling Joshua not be afraid, to be strong and courageous? 🙂
Courage means different things to different people. I suspect it is determined by the task in front of them. God defines courage as obeying His laws no matter the cost or consequence. He tells Joshua not to stray to the right or left, but to stay on the path. He is to allow it to control his every thought, motive and action. Same with us. It is NEVER easy to follow God’s Word, the laws written down for us to give credence to and follow with all our heart. Anyone who tells you it is easy needs a reality check.
The words to Joshua are good words for us as well. We never know what our day will look like. We can wake up excited to face the day, fully anticipating a day filled with good things only to watch it crumble to pieces shortly after or even before we walk out of the house. So no matter what today brings for you or for me, let’s face it head on with courage and strength that comes from the ONE who told Joshua to “be strong and courageous.” He will give us the strength to face the day and to come out on the other end with courage knowing that strength came from Him.
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Tags: Christian Living, Courage, God's Strength, God's Word, Ministry, Opinion, Perseverance, Reflection, Scripture look, Story, Strength, Suffering, Trials
Thursday, January 16th, 2025
What do you do and where do you go when you feel like you have had enough? As I read some Scripture this morning and thought about what to write, that is the question which came to mind.
Last night I began a new class called Wednesday Night Conversations. The class itself is not new; I had started it last Fall but took a break around the holidays. I restarted it last night and it will run until March 12th since the 19th is Spring Break (and I will not compete with that!). 🙂 The series of lessons is based on a book by Shane Pruitt entitled 9 Common Lies Christians Believe. The book is about one-liners many Christians are guilty of using when talking to people. Last night’s lie was “God will never give me more than I can handle.” We investigated it using I Cor. 10:12-13 as the basis. Of course, the context is important. Long story short, God never says He will give us more than we can handle. He does want us to know that when temptation comes or when trials hit, He is there to go through it with us. That is the promise of not getting more than we can handle. He wants us to know with Him we can handle anything.
All of that was fresh on my mind when I read Scripture from Psalms this morning. In Psalm 35:9-11 it says, “Then I will rejoice in the Lord. I will be glad because he rescues me. With every bone in my body I will praise him; ‘Lord, who can compare with you? Who else rescues the helpless from the strong? Who else protects the helpless and poor from those who rob them?'” In the very next chapter I read this: “Your unfailing love, O Lord, is as vast as the heavens; your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the ocean depths.” (36:5-6).
It was common to hear from myself and others last night that life is hard but that God has promised His presence and faithfulness. I am not ashamed to admit that I thrive on that truth. There have been times I have felt like I was at the end of my rope. Not emotionally. Not that way. But just felt like giving up. I had nothing left. I had no more desire to go on with what I was doing. But God had other plans and I am so glad I listened to Him and didn’t follow my heart (one of the common lies BTW). If I had given up, I would not be experiencing the love and joy of the church I pastor and the sheer joy of knowing I am in the center of His will. He was and is and (I’m sure) will always be sufficient.
{All Scripture from the New Living Translation}
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Tags: Choices, Christian Living, Faith/Feelings, God's Plan, God's Word, Ministry, Opinion, Perseverance, Reflection, Scripture look, Trials
Tuesday, January 14th, 2025
I want to piggyback on yesterday’s devotion a bit. You can read that here.
I summarized the early part of Joseph’s life in that post. As I read today, I made a few more observations that I had missed in previous readings. I’d like to share them with you today.
First, it is often tiring waiting. I hate waiting in lines at a store where there are multiple check out lines but only one or two cashiers working. And invariably I get in the line of the cashier who is as slow as molasses. But, that is a fact of life and there is really nothing I can do about it. I noticed something in Joseph’s life as I read. I brought up in yesterday’s post about Joseph interpreting the dreams of the king’s cupbearer and baker. When the cupbearer’s life is spared and he is restored to his original position, Joseph asks him to remember him. Genesis 40:23 tells the story: “Pharaoh’s chief cupbearer, however, forgot all about Joseph, never giving him another thought.” Well…so much for “remember me.”
But as I continued reading this morning the first 4 words of 41:1 stood out to me: “Two full years later.” See that? Two. full. years. later. Joseph languished in that prison for two more years! Granted, he may not have had it as bad as some since he was given the “head” of the prison, but still! Two years later Pharaoh has two dreams that his magicians and wise men could not interpret. Suddenly, the cupbearer remembers Joseph and I like what he says: “Today I have been reminded of my failure.” Ya think? Long story short he tells Pharaoh about Joseph so Pharaoh calls for Joseph. He cleans up (tells you a little bit about the prison conditions) and stands before Pharaoh.
Here is where the second lesson comes in. Pharaoh tells Joseph he had dreams and no one is able to interpret them, but that he has heard Joseph could. And don’t miss this! “It is beyond my power to do this,” Joseph replied. “But God can tell you want it means and set you at ease.” (41:16) Talk about giving credit where credit is due!! Joseph could have easily hid where his wisdom comes from or he could have just said, “Tell me and I will tell you.” NO. He makes sure God is given the credit for the ability to interpret the dreams.
So Joseph tells him what the dreams mean and also gives a plan for the dilemma they bring up. (I would encourage you to read Genesis 41 for the whole story). Joseph is elevated to second in command with only Pharaoh having more prominence and power than him. And Joseph implements his plan for preparing and ultimately saving Egypt and surrounding areas from the famine.
Imagine if Joseph had pouted and complained and harbored hatred toward that cupbearer. Just think how miserable his life would have been. Just remember: we may not like waiting, but there is a purpose, even when we can’t see it.
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Tags: God's Glory, God's Plan, Humility, Miscellaneous, Opinion, Patience, Perseverance, Reflection, Scripture look, Story, Trials
