I’m thinking this morning about control. In a moment I’ll tell you why, but first let’s consider what I mean.
Control can be seen in a variety of ways-both good and bad:
- An employer “controls” the atmosphere at work by the way an employee(s) are treated.
- A parent “controls” the behavior of a child by certain “rules of the house” that are to be obeyed.
- A teacher “controls” the classroom by threats or by a little black book with check marks for daily actions.
- A coach “controls” the team by extra practice or punishment for work not done or plays not run.
- Churches or pastors “control” their church by rules and regulations.
It is the latter that concerns me. Last night I spent considerable time on the phone with a couple struggling with the legalism and “control tactics” of his parents. Scriptures taken out of context were being used to demean and undermine them and their marriage. The parents live several states away and belong to a cult that uses control to force submission on people. Hence the control tactics of the parents. The details are not important at the moment but suffice it to say that laying the guilt on thick is one of their tactics. Rules and regulations taken out of context are used to manipulate control over others. They were seeking guidance on how to handle the newest slam by the parents.
One characteristic of control is a pastor or a church using rules and regulations of their own making to control the narrative. If they can get a person to live up to their rules-go to church, tithe, dress a certain way, etc-the control factor is big. Sadly, a person’s commitment to Christ is judged on keeping their rules. What they really have is law, not grace. What we really have is a perversion of the Gospel.
Jesus once said, “These people honor me with their lips but their hearts are far from me. Their worship is a farce, for they teach man-made ideas as commands from God.” (Mk.7:6-6 NLT) (And yes, I am a heretic because I didn’t quote the King James Bible).
All Jesus said was “Love me first.” That’s it! Love Him first. Not “Keep these rules and I will know you love me.” Love Him first. ‘Nuff said.
In some ways following the letter of the law is easier than living a life of devotion, not because of duty, but because of love. Many relationships go cold because of simply fulfilling a role. Husbands and wives only meeting expected responsibilities to insure their children are raised, jobs are done, and bills are paid. If the relationship is not there, if the love is not given, the two will drift apart until they are hollow vessels void of any emotion. Thankfully, God does not stop pursuing. His desire is that we simply love Him and then out of that love obey Him. Really the obedience is simply for our own good and protection. Not that we won’t have troubles if we continually obey, but the troubles we experience won’t be self inflicted and the valleys will likely be a much shorter afternoon walk than a 40 year detour.
Well said and thought out Ryan. i do think it is important to see that God does have “rules” but they are for our good and protection. Churches and pastors make rules that hurt and enslave. I am glad God does not stop pursuing. That is what love is all about.
‘Nuff said, indeed, Bill! Jesus told us to love God first and foremost. Everything else is secondary and in the scenario you describe here, it’s downright damaging. Thanks for this message today.
Blessings!
Thanks for the encouraging words Martha. We forget what is primary and secondary. As for the story, the man’s response to his parents is spot on (which I am not privy to divulge)
When we do love Jesus above all else in our lives, and put Him first in all we do, our lives reflect that. It’s amazing how when you get the most important priority correct, it influences so many around you, and God’s Kingdom reaps the benefits. Giving all the glory back to God. We can see the results in the culture when we do not love Jesus first, it’s a selfish, messy, chaotic place to live in.
Amen to it being a selfish mess and chaotic place to live. Putting Jesus first changes everything.
Reading this the first thing that popped into my mind is the “M” church which is definitely a cult. interesting how Satan uses this against us. A certain group, who feel they have all the answers to life, work to convince us they know what is best for us but, they seldom if ever mention Jesus who went to the cross for us, so we could be with him forever and to share love, not hate.
I can say it wasn’t the “M” church which I agree is a cult. In fact, this one is sort of a minor player in the field. One of the traits of a cult in the failure to accept the divinity of Jesus as the virgin born Son of God and the failure to talk about the cross (which the “M” church won’t do).