I mentioned in an earlier post that I had attended a Chaplain/First Responder Training led by Dr. Barry Young last week. I also said it was like taking a drink of water from a fire hose. One section of the training was on Suicide. In fact, he talked about it last, not because it was unimportant, but because of its importance.
In both First Responders and society at large, there is a general idea that if you need mental health assistance you are weak. I can’t speak for women, but I do know that men have a huge difficulty with this. It is almost ingrained in us from birth that men are strong and we don’t need anyone else, especially if it is dealing with what is seen as a weakness. Instead of being seen as weak, those who seek help should see themselves and others as brave.
More law enforcement died last year due to suicide than were killed in the line of duty. The headlines show us that suicide is definitely not limited to law enforcement personnel. It is hitting the rich and famous as much as the down and outers. I’d like to make two observations about this scourge:
First, I REJECT any notion that taking one’s life immediately condemns that person to hell. I know that goes against the grain of many religious beliefs. I recently had some ask me that very question because he had been raised in a religious tradition that taught that. The reasons for someone doing something so drastic and final are many: they have no place to turn; they feel as though they have no help; no other answer; mental illness; they feel alone. Try dealing with life when stuff like that is hanging over one’s head! Yeah, without reaching out, it is impossible. And therein lies the rub. We are seen as weak if we do. There are too many factors involved to make blanket statements like “All suicidal people go to hell.” I refuse to play judge, jury and executioner. The only time I know someone is lost forever is if they reject Christ. Any atheist who died is now finding out the truth of eternity. Or is that the lie he spewed?
Second, one of my goals is to bring life to people. I want them to know they are loved and they have a purpose here on earth. Mr. Young said, “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” Despair is real, but so is hope. Without sounding simplistic, so is the light at the end of the tunnel (and it is not an oncoming train). There is hope; there is light; there is purpose; there is an answer. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Contact a friend. Contact a suicide prevention hotline. GET HELP! You are not weak if you do. Just the opposite: I’d say you are strong.
One more thing: if you know someone is struggling, be a friend.
I do agree with the statement you quoted regarding suicide being a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Thinking back through the years and even relatively recent past, I have had my moments of grief and even despair. Recognizing that I am through that pain does bring validity to that claim.
Grabbing onto those glimmers of hope and positive moments, even if they are just moments, can do a lot to carry us through.
Recognizing that those moments often bring me closer to my creator, my savior, my Father… Those are the moments I need to remember.
I also recommend getting help and recognizing when someone else needs help.
Thanks Ryan for your honesty and wisdom in your comments. And most of all for pointing to Jesus.
The high suicide statistics among those who selflessly serve to keep us all safe should alarm us all, Bill. They see the worst of the worst, day in and day out. Praying that they will all get the help and direction they so badly need and desperately deserve.
Blessings!
Agreed Martha. We often forget the toll it takes on them to serve and even save. Thanks for recognizing that.
Suicide is really hard on the families and friends left behind. Just in the last six months I had a old friend of mine that I went to college with that committed suicide. I had not seen him in over 20yrs, but his best friend, who I also ran around with in college has really struggled with it. One of the first thing he asked me was, was did Bob go to hell, and since he did not get his last rights (catholic sacrament) did he go to hell. I have tried to use this as a segue into the truth form the Bible. The truth is so many people are lost, or have the wrong perceptions of what the Bible really says. I try to take advantage of opportunities to talk about the Bible when they present themselves. I quit worrying about if someone will not like it or not. I just pray Lord guide the words and let me speak Your truth. I let them understand I am not a Bible scholar, or perfect in my ways. I am someone who loves the Bible, loves to talk about the Bible, and I have my own stories on how God has helped me.
Someone from the Catholic tradition, like you were, would know far more than me Gail. I know last rites is essential to “eternity” to many. My greater concern is not last rites but did they know Jesus. I applaud you for being willing to speak up, right or wrong is some eyes. Continue standing for the truth.
i agree with the idea that suicide doesn’t necessarily condemn the person to hell. I do think that sometimes it’s the cowards way out, but sometimes there are factors that don’t include cowardice. Mental illness, drugs, or even destiny. My brother and family both faced situations where we were faced with suicide. One from my teenage niece, and another from a good friend/co-worker of his.
There ARE signs that the person is headed in that direction, but we have to be really sensitive to the Holy Spirit in order to perceive and intervene.
Unfortunately, it’s usually a really small window of time, and intervening physically may not be possible.
Well said, Ed. I, too, feel it is the coward’s way out, especially when they kill others and then don’t want to face the consequences of their actions. But that is another story. The signs, as you rightly call them, are there. Sometimes easy to see; sometimes hidden. In any case it is a sad situation. Thanks for the comment.