“A slave? Who me a slave? How dare you!”
In this day of wokeness and feelings worn on a sleeve, being called a slave is an extreme putdown. But, before you shut me down and accuse me of hatred and bigotry, please hear me out.
I have often made a statement when I preach, or even in private conversation:
Your failure to forgive someone does not hurt them. Generally, they could care less. However, what it does do is make you their slave.
There’s that word again. It has a bitter taste on our tongue, and an unsavory taste in our mouth. But here is the lowdown: It is true! When you or I refuse to forgive someone, that other person owns us. They are not hurt in the slightest (unless, of course, they have apologized and want to reconcile). If that’s not the case, “it’s no skin off their back” as the saying goes.
Here…let me explain it further:
A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones. (Pr. 14:30 NLT)
I’d say that Scripture is pretty relevant, wouldn’t you? (Just one more nail in the coffin of those who say the Bible is outdated or irrelevant. Just sayin’). Jealousy is compared to cancer and we have all been exposed to cancer’s devastation in some way. Picture jealousy doing the same thing to our soul. Eating away. Wasting away as hatred and hard feelings take hold. Energy expended to maintain that feeling.
No one wants to be a slave. NO ONE. Great! You may be a free man or woman living on this earth. But what about inwardly? Slave or free? I despised the song when it was so popular but take this advice: “Let it go.” Choose what you will do.


May this new year see all of us break the chains of slavery by forgiving others and ourselves. How can we expect God to forgive us if we won’t forgive others? We can’t! More wisdom to live by, Bill.
Blessings!
Life is better, more complete and fuller when we do Martha. Thanks.
The only slave I want to be is God’s, like the slave in the OT who didn’t want to leave his master. “I do not want to leave you!” and had his ear pierced to show permanent ownership. (Deuteronomy 15:16-27) Do you remember the song based on this scripture that Glad sang?
Thanks for the example Pam. And no, I don’t. I didn’t listen to Glad (they weren’t my style. 🙂 ) What was it so I can?
It was called Pierce My Ear.
Thanks. I will try to find it.
Bill some of the hardest issues for me to forgive have also been some of my biggest spiritual growth moments. Absolutely nothing is gained by holding a grudge, or refusing to forgive, even when you do not receive an apology. When you truly turn things over to Christ, and learn to forgive, God does some amazing things with those hurts.
I agree Gail. Tough and hard issues are definitely designed for growth (if we allow it)