January 16

Written by Bill Grandi on January 16th, 2023

Have you ever met someone who wanted you to think they had it all together? It’s kind of like the old commercial “Never let ’em see you sweat.” They never want you to see them wanting.

“I can’t let them see me like this. They might think I’m weak.”

“I can’t act scared. I’m supposed to be the leader. How could they ever follow if I did?”



Tragically, so many with the “can’t-show-them” attitude really need help. Most often they are insecure, little children. And I’m not talking chronological age.

Men tend to be the king of this attitude, but we certainly don’t have a corner on it. I’ve seen and met women who are just as hardened, just as cold, and just as calculating as their counterpart. Maybe they have been hurt by someone (and I’m not minimizing that)-a male- so no longer will they allow one to get close.

Consider what it does to a person spiritually. It hardens him/her.  They close off a part of their soul. Their heart gets hard, or at best, crusty.

The exact opposite of what God wants. Faith always expresses itself in love for others. But if we are closed off, how can we do that? I like what the late David Powlison wrote:

Loving those around you in the midst of your weakness can be as simple as sharing your weakness and need with someone else. (“Take Heart”- January 16)

Good food for thought. Maybe it’s time for us- men and women- to open our hearts and open our lives to others. We may never know whose life might be “saved”- ours or theirs.


6 Comments so far ↓

  1. Ryan S. says:

    Not only have I met that person, I have been that person. It’s a dangerous place to be in all honesty. Also, as you have shared, our trials, our troubles, our experiences can be used to serve others. Having come through the valley and seeing the son rise on the other side can help others that may be going through similar valleys themselves. Good thoughts for the morning!

    • Bill Grandi says:

      My naturally extroverted personality tends to keep me from being “sheltered” but I have to admit there have been times I wanted to crawl into a hole and not see people. But knowing I have a God who is complete control and who wants me to be open to His leading has helped keep me from that.

  2. Sadly, I have been that person, too, Bill. I don’t like having the rug ripped out from under my feet, showing the world all my weaknesses and shortcomings, but if we’re going to be honest before our Father, we have to be willing to let it all hang out, so to speak. I’ve certainly gotten better with this over time.

    • Bill Grandi says:

      Growing in Christ (maturity) is a good thing when we allow the Spirit to motivate and move us to where we need to change. I’m glad you have allowed the Spirit to change you more into His likeness Martha.

  3. gail says:

    I feel like, I am someone in between, not a closed book, but not always an open book either. I do believe by sharing our different witness stories we can help others. Each of us has several different witness stories of how God has worked in our lives. We can find common ground with someone with a story they can relate to, that will open the door for us to tell them how God helped us through a hard time. We can advance the kingdom of God. Even if the story does not lead them to being saved right then, it plants a seed that God can cultivate. It also allows us to praise God, for His help and give Him the praise and glory He deserves.

    • Bill Grandi says:

      Each of us will be open or closed according to our personality Gail. So I definitely see your point. I also agree with you that our stories can be shared with others and common ground can only be found sometimes when we open up to others. I think how much will often depend on our life stories. But I do agree that we can plant seeds by our testimony.