A recent Our Daily Bread devotion (June 26) told the story of a dog whose owner broke his ankle and was using crutches to walk. Soon the dog began to hobble as well. He took the dog to the vet worrying that something was wrong, but the vet said there was nothing with him. He romped and played like all dogs until he was with his owner. That’s when he walked with a limp. I guess you could say the dog was trying to identify with his owner. 🙂
I heard some sad news yesterday. As this lady told me the news, all I could do was hold her and let her cry. NO words were needed. None were necessary to be said. They would have been a drippy faucet-annoying and serving no good. After she got herself together, we talked.
I’m a fixer. I want to fix people’s problems.
But I can’t.
That’s not my job. That’s not in my “pay grade.”
That job belongs to the only ONE who can fix it. Someone has said, “When someone is broken, don’t try to fix them. (You can’t.) When someone is hurting, don’t attempt to take away their pain. (You can’t.) Instead, love them by walking beside them in the hurt. (You can.) Because sometimes what people need is simply to know they aren’t alone.”
All those are true. For me. For you. What I did offer was that I-and the church-would walk alongside her through it all. She needs to know that more than anything right now.
Be someone’s “come along” as you come along side someone who is hurting. Don’t try to fix. Just be.
I can’t help but think of how much this applies to addiction. Our mission statement at the pregnancy center I worked for years is “Loving people through crisis” and that is the best we can do. That’s what we are called to do, thank you for the reminder.
You’re welcome Sherry. Thank you so much for your great comment.
I think God has been working to remind me of this very principal over the last several months. I tend to want to fix. I analyze a situation, I apply what knowledge and logic I have, I take steps to resolve. There are things I can’t fix, that itself is not what I have been learning… What I have been learning is that I need to be present even when I can’t fix. I don’t think most people like to see other’s in pain, emotionally or physically… But I have realized that being aware, being mindful, being close may not fix what is broken, but it can help another through the moment and make those times of pain hopefully a little less sharp.
That is a powerful lesson to learn Ryan! Being there is a whole lot more important in certain situations than to try to fix someone. I’m glad you are learning such a powerful lesson that can be used to minister to others.