I was having lunch with someone yesterday and the subject came up about my weariness which has developed over the past few months. This person asked me what kind of weariness it was. It isn’t a spiritual weariness-my Encounter Time is intact. {As aside: this is going to be long post. Not in length but in typing. Within these first two sentences I cannot even tell you how many corrections I have had to make as I type. *eye roll*} Sometimes my ET is exciting and revealing; sometimes mundane. Par for the course. It isn’t a physical weariness, even though at 69, now 70, I can expect that. I think it is more a mental weariness-not anything drastic-just mentally tired from time to time. Drained. The reality of my age as I read and watch people die is palpable. I’m not a doomsayer. I’m not depressed.
I’m a dreamer, but I’m also a realist. I realize my life has reached the words of Psalm 90:10- “As for the days of our life, they contain 70 years, of if due to strength, 80 years.” I realize my life is closer to ending than starting. 🙂
But here’s the thing: I have so much I still want to give. I do not feel as though I have lived my life and am now ready to be put out to pasture. Philippians 1:6 says, “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work among you will complete it by the day of Jesus Christ.” I want to live each day of my life as though it is the last and live it fully for Him. He knows the number of my days and whether it is one day, one week, one month, one year or more or less. All I know is I want to live each one purposefully. i want to live with passion. With wonder. With meaning. With the goal of hearing, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
I am keenly aware that my age will slow me down some, that the vigor of my youth is waning, but I also know I’m not done yet. God is NOT done with me yet. Not as long as I have breath. As I read recently: “Time is not marching on-it’s running out.”
I can’t know the length of my life. No one can. But I can control the depth and influence of it. My moniker for years has been “Live the Adventure!” I want to live life maxed out in the end.
{All Scripture is from NASB2020}
Age is an interesting thing… When you are a young child, you always want to be as older as the bigger kids that get to do more. As a teenager, you start regretting your age a little because the responsibilities tend to increase, yet you want to be be old enough to drive, to go out on your own, to make your own decision. In your late teen’s and early 20’s you realize you have to adult most of the time. Bills to pay, jobs to do, again, more responsibilities. Kids come, and many relive (or live) their childhood through their kids. You keep thinking when these kids are finally out of the house… Then they are. Now i look back and can think of missed opportunities or “if I only knew that” moments. Funny how life flies by. As I ponder while typing, we are always in a season. Embrace the opportunities that come with the season. Live each season to it’s fullest. As you state Bill, “I can’t know the length of my life.” and “Live the Adventure” Whatever trail you find yourself on these days, embrace it. Make the most of it. Make it an adventure! Thanks for the reminder this morning, I needed it.
Ryan
You’re welcome Ryan. I have to remind myself from time to time also. I really like what you did with the age thing. Young. Teen. etc. Life is a series os stages. I do want to embrace wherever life finds me. We gotta find time to do that bike ride before snow flies.
I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on my own life recently, Bill, and I do think it’s the side effect of aging and realizing just how old I am. God’s been so good to me over the years, and I know that after He saved me from pneumonia, He has lots in store for me to accomplish before I fly home. Still trying to figure out what that is – lol!
Blessings, my friend!
I know you went through a rough time with your health, Martha. I am so glad God allowed you to stay here a while longer. I have no doubt He will use you in amazing ways before you “fly home.”
Looking at one’s life is always a reflective process. My motto is: I want to finish well. The day the Lord calls me home, will be the best day of my life. I want God to look at me and say, your Savior, my Son, has told me all about you, welcome home.
That is a great way to look at it Gail. And since I know you, I suspect (“predict”) you will hear those words.