September 20

Written by Bill Grandi on September 20th, 2022

Have you ever noticed how there are some people who seem to want to be left alone? They don’t need or want any help. They can do it on their own.

Even children.

Who of us has not seen a child rebuff a parent’s help? Moms try to dress their child only for them to say, “I can do it myself.” Not really, but how can one argue with a determined child?

That carries on as the person gets older. They don’t want any help with homework. With solving a problem. With a relationship.

There are also those who just want no human intervention or interaction. Granted, there are time we all need space. But I’m talking about those who prefer to be alone…most of the time, if not permanently. I visited an old friend the other day. I hadn’t seen or heard from him since he dropped off the planet in, I’m guessing, 8 years. I went to his house to say hi and his reaction was sort of rude, to say the least. When I said hi, his words were, “Bill, what are doing here?”  I said, “I was going through a file looking for some papers for a bike rack I was giving (_______) and I came across some papers for the bike hitch you bought for me back in 2012. Your address was there as well as your phone number and email address. I tried the phone and email and they both came back so I thought I would drop by and say hi. I have no agenda. Just to say hi.” His words? “I find that hard to believe (referring to me not having an agenda).”  I even sent him a note this past week reiterating that.

He prefers to live as a hermit with his brother. Sad.  Someday maybe he will realize his need for a friend. But truthfully, some want to be loners.

Tragically, there are Christ-followers who want to be left alone. They want to hide who they really are. Masks weren’t just for COVID. Loners cut themselves off from others, especially from fellow Christ-followers. Whether it is pride or fear or distrust, who knows?

But no follower of Jesus can survive on his/her own.

Principle #7: Loners lose their way; trust the guidance of those who love you enough to tell you the truth.

Are you willing to trust others?


8 Comments so far ↓

  1. Ryan S. says:

    Bill, I can honestly say I can fully relate at times. I know I NEED the interaction. I know that we are NOT meant to do life on this earth alone. We are DESIGNED by God to have relationship, Not only with Him, but with others that call choose to be Christ followers.

    For the introvert in me, it is not always easy. I do much better typing behind a computer screen than articulating my thoughts in person.

    I do much prefer a quiet cabin in the woods with nothing but the sounds of nature and the snap crackle pop of a warm campfire.
    If someone is there to join me, that is ok… but I am content just closing my eyes and listening, pondering, and enjoying the peace.

    So back to your question… Why?
    Is it fear, fear of being rejected, fear of loss, fear of getting to close that the old me shines through a little too much?
    Is is pride, perhaps a little?
    Is it distrust or disappointment or drama?

    Perhaps a little of all, but I know this:

    “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” Ecc 4:12 (NLT)

    There must be trust to stand back to back with someone in battle. I do believe trust IS required.

    • Bill Grandi says:

      Your capitalized words in the first paragraph are important Ryan. NEED. NOT. DESIGNED. Your use of Eccl.4:12 is an important truth to keep in mind. Being an extrovert I definitely see things through a different lens, but I also admit there are times when I need quiet and to be alone. Perhaps not as often as you or other introverts but I still need to slow down. I also need others for the reasons you mention, especially someone who has my back. Thanks for the honest and insightful comment.

  2. As an introvert, I truly appreciate my alone time, but I can’t deny that I need to be around other people, too, in order to grow and serve as I should. It’s a balancing act, for sure, but one that is so necessary.
    Blessings, Bill!

  3. gail says:

    From yesterday’s post to today’s post I was thinking in a different direction. I was thinking more along of the lines that some people want to believe it is through their own strengths and accomplishments that they, by themselves have found success. They give no credit to God, for giving them their abilities, their talents, their gifts. How sad that is, because they will find their self separated from God. The one truth in their life they needed the most, they could not earn or brag about their achievements. If they discover that truth to late, everything that they found joy in, will now only be profound sadness.

    • Bill Grandi says:

      You make a good case though Gail (even though it was a different direction). 🙂 I, too, think people tend to forget that God has given them the abilities to accomplish what they do and fail to give God the credit for it. I’m glad you were able to take it in a different direction.

  4. Linda Stoll says:

    How sad. Sadly not unusual. May God give us compassion for those who live in isolation and despondency.

    • Bill Grandi says:

      It is sad Linda. My heart aches for a friendship that once was but appears to never be again. After a friendship which involved about 4 years and hours of riding together and eating lunch and hanging out, he dropped off the planet and never would return any attempts to talk. Still to this day have no clue what happened.