It never ceases to amaze me when people who say they follow Christ allow petty differences to separate them. Yes, the words or actions hurt. I am not denying that but seriously? Lifelong friends becoming the rest-of-life enemies? I read the following story awhile back and used it yesterday during a communion thought:
Esther (Eppie) and Pauline Friedman were identical twins born on July 4, 1918. At age 21 they were married to their husbands in a double wedding. In 1955 Eppie took over an advice column in the Chicago Sun-Times called “Ask Ann Landers.” Only a few months later Pauline took up a similar column, “Dear Abby,” under the name Abigail Van Buren. Trouble began when Pauline offered their hometown paper, the Sioux City Journal, a lower rate for her “Dear Abby” column if the paper promised not to print her sister’s “Ask Ann Landers.” Eppie was furious. They both became very successful advice columnists, but their relationship was never the same. They counseled people on relationships, for crying out loud! Even after they both died, their children continued the feud. (copied from Feels Like Home by Lee Eclov-p.61-62)
I shake my head at that story, finding it almost unbelievable (but it’s true). Here are two advice columnists giving advice, but they can’t or won’t take their own. Hmmm. Sounds like many Christ-followers who carry grudges long past their prime. In fact, why carry a grudge at all? I tell people that “when you carry a grudge you are a slave to that other person. They own you.” They own your thoughts. They own your actions. Sometimes they even own your sleep. I will say it bluntly: it ain’t worth it.
Stop allowing past difficulties to waylay your future. Stop allowing past differences to stymie your steps. Give it up and let the offense go. Or at least, forgive from your heart. If they refuse to reciprocate, the ball is in their court and you walk free.
The truth you have written regarding carrying a grudge is not overstated. We all will be hurt in this life and I would probably expect that we will do our share of hurting. We live in a world that is influenced by an enemy that uses lies and half truths to spin conflict wherever he can. How often are we carrying around a grudge that may not even be real or perhaps greatly distorted. Forgiveness breaks the chains that hold us down and keep us from moving forward.
Thanks for the comment Ryan and further adding to the truth. I especially appreciated your last sentence.
I’ll go with your advice, Bill. May we not be so short-sighted that we allow a past grudges to stain our relationships.
Also, I never knew this about these two women. How ironic!
Blessings!
I didn’t know that either until I read it. I still find it hard to believe! What a tragedy. you are right also, Martha. Past grudges do stain our relationships.
I do not remember who gave me this advice when I was really young but it really stuck with me. Never fix a problem, by creating new problems. A grudge, is adding to the first problem, instead of dealing with the disagreement, and talking it out, now you add a grudge. Probably you can add on top of that, running to someone else, putting down the other person, and convincing that person to side with you. Before you know it, you took the first problem and created so many side roads of ugly issues that now the first problem is a huge ugly mess that is out of control. Offer the grace that God gave us to others and avoid all the pitfalls.
That was some good advice Gail and well worth remembering.