Most people know the story of Job. A rich man (called the richest man in that entire area-Job 1:3) whose life is turned upside down. First, Satan takes away everything he has, including his children dying, except for his health. Then, he is allowed to tinker with his health and it says Job was covered with boils from head to foot. He scraped his skin with pieces of broken pottery (2:7-8). But perhaps the worst of it was putting up with the endless drivel of his so-called “friends.” I’ll not get into all they said-there isn’t enough space for all of that. But with their endless drivel came assumptions which had no basis whatsoever. I suspect many of us have been there-either the victim or the “victimee.” (yeah, I know that is not a word but who knows?). 🙂 The most basic assumption they made is that Job was suffering because of unconfessed sin. They pounded that hard and not always was it kind.
It got me to thinking about how I approach people and act as though I know it all and “speak for God.” It is, of course, not true, but I sure do act like it sometimes. Again, I don’t think I’m alone. We have all had those times we act like judge, jury and executioner when it comes to someone else’s suffering. There has got to be a reason this is happening to them! Unfortunately, we have trouble keeping our thoughts to ourselves. So yesterday, at the end of my sermon, I shared three thoughts. I thought I would share them with you this morning.
First, sometimes we can come off as judge, jury and executioner (like Job’s “friends”). We are opinionated and judgmental, often failing to put ourselves into the shoes of the other person. Be careful with this. Like Haman in Esther’s story, pride will come back to haunt us.
Second, and on the heels of the first, until we have experienced what another is experiencing, let’s keep our mouths shut on giving advice or opinions. Nothing more needs said about this.
Third, be careful of pat answers and pat words that we spout off because they sound good. Some of what we say simply sound like cliches.
Here is a good piece of advice: instead of always acting like we have the answer, let’s just be a friend who can be one without words if necessary.
Sometimes just keeping our mouths shut and simply listening to the woes of another with empathy is all that is required of us. Being human, we can too often leap to judgmental conclusions. Let’s not do so!
Blessings, Bill!
You summed it up well Martha.
That’s very good advice. Wisdom is sometimes found in moments of silence, 🙂
Hey Ed! Good to hear from you. And I agree with you.
Great point Bill. Last weekend I was with a couple that I have been praying with and praying for, for a few years now. I did not agree with a decision that they made, but I did keep my mouth shut. However, all week when I was praying for them, half of my prayers for them was complaining to God about their decision. After your sermon, I came home and reflected on that, and thought about how I had prayed all week. I changed my pray, first of all I thanked God, that I was not in that situation, repented that I was not an expert on the situation, and thanked God for helping me to keep my mouth shut. My role is to be supportive, offer prayers, and be still and listen. I thanked God for the attitude adjustment, and that God humbled me to be still and take a lesson from my church sermon.
First, I’m glad to hear you listened. 🙂 Second, I’m excited you showed restraint. Your friends will be more willing to talk to you in the future because of it