I have a favor to ask. A little over a month ago (although it seems like eons ago) I was called to a suicide as the chaplain of the Owen County Sheriff’s Department. It was a first for me-not being called out, but being called to a suicide. Fortunately, the sheriff’s deputies and other first responders were there and I was not privy to the scene. But his best friend was. In fact, when the weird phone calls came to the mother (who was in Bloomington) and brother (who was in Florida), his best friend was on the way back from Louisville and reached the scene first. While I was there I talked to this friend quite a bit and offered to listen if he ever needed someone. Monday I got a call that he would like to take me up on my offer to talk. I am meeting him this afternoon in another town. It will be a first for me on several different fronts. If you are a praying person, may I ask you to do so? Pray for wisdom and clarity for me. Pray for me to listen well and not pretend as though I know or have the answers. I am not a professional counselor. I do know this young man needs a friend.

I had planned on writing on something else this morning, but feel compelled to chat a bit on this subject. Many times when people need to talk to us, we often give off airs of having it all together and being a know-it-all with the answers. First, we all know (or should) that we don’t have all the answers, and second, we don’t always have it together. In life in general there are many unanswered questions. In a suicide that seems to amp up a bit. The biggest? WHY? There are a lot of factors that play into a suicide. Health (physical): Long term sickness, like cancer or MS or some other seemingly incurable or hopeless disease.  Mental health: loneliness, abuse, abandonment, bi-polar. The list can go on and on.  Life situations like poverty, or job loss, or helplessness. And yes, some of it is cowardice (someone who goes on a spree, for example, and then shoots themselves rather than be taken captive).

The sad part is the fallout for those who are left behind. This is a case in point. No one knows why this young man took his life. One guess is that he has been sick lately. He was a highly functional autistic young man. He lost two fathers from cancer at different times in his young life. The family and friends may never know. What I do know is that I am meeting someone today who is hurting. I could say a lot more, but it is unnecessary. I will say this though: if you are in that much despair, PLEASE get help!! 

Meanwhile, don’t judge the person. Don’t condemn him. Love those who are left behind. And please pray for me.