“Forgive as you have been forgiven.” We hear that quite often, more often than we might like! 🙂 But whether you are a Christ-follower or not, forgiveness is one of those non-negotiables that we all must face and need to do. Last night in my Wednesday Night Conversations class we talked about the common lie we hear: “I could never forgive that person.” I would like to share with you 6 common lies we will hear when it comes to forgiveness. The main thoughts come from 9 Common Lies Christians Believe by Shane Pruitt. The editorial comments are mine.Â
- Forgiveness means you have to forget. Think about the fallacy of this. Something bad has happened in the past or just happened to you. Does that mean you must forget what happened? There is a thing called PTSD that many military vets suffer from. I think many ordinary people do as well, especially when a traumatic event has happened.
- Forgiveness mean you have to be a doormat. Yeah…I’ll just let that person or others walk all over me. There comes a point where you must say, “Enough is enough.” Some relationships are toxic and need cut off.
- Forgiveness means you are condoning the actions of others. “If I forgive, am I saying that what they did is okay?” No. No. And No.
- Forgiveness means we will be close friends again. As if… In Psalm 41 David laments the betrayal of a friend. Sometimes keeping someone at a distance or arm’s length or even removing them from your life is necessary. Can you be friends again? Possibly. But very carefully and very slowly. Nobody in their right mind will just accept a person back into their lives like it once way. But sometimes…No.
- Forgiveness comes from an apology. Some people feel, “Hey, I said I was sorry. That should be enough.” Apologies are not always sincere. Some are said in the heat of the moment or to salve guilt.
- Forgiveness is easy. And you were born under what rock? Forgiveness is neither easy nor hard. It is impossible. It is natural for us to hold feelings of bitterness, hurt, anger (to name a few). Forgiving someone can only be supernatural. It comes from God. I can tell you this: refusing to forgive and holding these feelings in is not healthy spiritually or physically.
There you have it. The only question to ask is “How are you doing in the forgiveness department?”
It isn’t a natural thing to forgive, Bill, but supernatural just as you’ve explained here. May our loving Father in Heaven grant us that ability so that we can become more like Jesus each and every day.
Blessings!
No it isn’t a natural thing Martha and exactly why you the loving Father’s help needs to be asked for.
Forgiveness is really about releasing the burden and the weight of being wronged. Carrying bitterness and anger erodes the soul. Forgiveness is really more for the one doing the forgiving than it is the one being forgiven. It can bring restoration, but sometimes it does not.
How am I doing you ask? I think for the most part good. We likely all have been wronged a time or two and have done our share of wronging others. The gut check is when I think about others that have wronged me in my past and the emotion it brings up in me. If it is bitterness or anger… Probably time to re-evaluate.
i agree Ryan that it can bring restoration. it all depends on sincerity of the apology and the commitment of the one hurt to move on. And I would agree that if bitterness and anger creep in it is time to reevaluate.