Have you ever been honored and so overwhelmed that it left you breathless? I got this text last night from Janna:
“I want to put a bug in your ear, but there is a possibility that we might move up the wedding ceremony, especially with Mike’s health being back-and-forth so much. And we both talked and would want you to do it…But I just wanted you to be aware that we may need you if you’re willing to come to Delaware.” (Ohio)
Well, duh! 🙂 Marry my daughter and her fiance’? Let me think about that for a few minutes. Aaaah YEAH! (That was less than a nanosecond).Â
After Janna’s divorce (her ex wanted out), she eventually started dating Mike. {Funny story: When Janna talked about me, Mike asked what I was like. Would I sit and drink a beer with him? She laughed and said, “No. My dad has never had a drink.”} 🙂 They have been together, all told, for 6 years (if my math is right and that is dubious). He asked me about a month ago if he could have my blessing to marry Janna. Jo and I were both there and we wholeheartedly gave a big Yes! They had been talking about it before his cancer diagnosis. Now, of course, that changed everything. The wedding was scheduled for late August and the reception on 9/19. The magistrate was performing the wedding with only their sons and their two best friends in attendance. We were going to the reception in September. Mike’s cancer has changed everything. It has wracked his body so badly that he has been in almost constant pain and in and out of the ER and hospital. (He currently has been in since Monday). He has been unable to take his last two chemo treatments. So they are moving the wedding up to sometime during the 2nd or 3rd week of August, possibly the 14th. Braden will be gone from the 6th to the 11th visiting his dad in South Carolina.Â
I’m honored they asked. Mike asked Janna why she didn’t ask me from the beginning. While I have my suspicions, I can’t say for certain. But you know what? IT DOESN’T MATTER. In her first marriage I was her father. In this one I’m her dad, yes, but I’m also their shepherd.Â
I have a serious request though. Please, please, please pray for Mike. Storm the gates as they say. Stage 4 pancreatic cancer than has spread to his liver and abdominal wall is, frankly, a death sentence. BUT GOD... I’m praying for his healing-body and soul. Join me please.Â
“The best laid plans often go down the tubes.” That’s the “Bill version.” The real version by Robert Burns is “The best laid of mice and men often go awry.” Either one works. 🙂
My plan for today was to share some news with you that will change my world in the future but I have been asked not to do so at this point in time, so I will honor that. Maybe down the road a bit I will be able to do so.Â
Meanwhile, Psalm 102:1-2 “spoke” to my heart this morning:Â Â
Lord, hear my prayer! Listen to my plea! Don’t turn away from me in my time of distress. Bend down to listen, and answer me quickly when I call to you. (NLT)
I had a texting session just before bedtime with one of the people from OVCF, a lady who went through a devastating experience a little over a year ago and is still struggling to make sense of it all. I would say these verses describe exactly where she is. I can’t and won’t say I know exactly how she feels because I don’t, but I can say there have been times I have been where she is now. Questioning God’s goodness and wisdom. A cry for help. Silence. Answers needed/wanted. Silence. But in spite of it all, I want to be able to echo the psalmist’s words in verse 12: “But you, O Lord, will sit on your throne forever. Your fame will endure to every generation.”Â
As I told the lady last night, it is human nature to want answers. But God is not obligated to give them. As a parent I believed I knew what was best for my girls, and I didn’t owe them an explanation (at least at that moment), for my decision. God is under no obligation to tell me the “why’s” and “wherefore’s” of what He is doing. I have to trust His goodness and His love for me, just as I wanted my girls to trust me and my love for them. I wasn’t being cruel, even though in their eyes, I was.Â
“So Lord, to borrow lyrics from the song in yesterday’s post: ‘Even in the storm, I will praise You. Even in the storm I will trust You.’ I don’t know all, if any answers, but still I will trust You, my Savior, my King.”Â
“God is using this…Nothing would be wasted. Everything had a purpose. God’s timing is always perfect.” (Risner-p.237)
That was a quote I read yesterday as I make my way through Vaneetha Risner’s book, Watching for the Morning. Then I wrote this in my journal: “It’s hard to see that at the time, but it is a truth I’m going to cling to today, tomorrow, and all the way through. My Be Strong and Courageous words will now come home to me.” Come back here tomorrow to see why I say that. In the meantime, I am posting a song that has rocked my world. And no, it is not a rock song. 🙂 In fact, after I sent it to Tami she came back and questioned if I was her dad. In the event something happens that the link does not work, the song is called “Still I Will Praise You” by Seek First Worship. I’m wagering (without betting) that it will become a new song on your playlist. The video has the lyrics but if you hit “more” it will give you the information about Seek First Worship and also the lyrics.
“Lord, may the song soothe someone’s aching heart. Start with mine. Show me your greatest gift through times like this…Your presence. Give me grace to share with others. Help me to remember you are in control and You have a purpose.”Â
This is not a “woe-is-poor-me” post, even though it might sound like it. I love…LOVE…my job. I LOVE the church I have been privileged to pastor for 20+ years. I don’t want to be, nor do I desire to be anywhere else. I have one daughter who lives with us (she wants to keep an eye on her aging parents); a soon-to-be-married daughter who lives in Ohio; and a 19 (soon to be 20) year old grandson who will begin his Sophomore year at Ohio State. I am TOTALLY happy living where I do and serving the Lord where He has placed me.Â
I just finished reading a book entitled The Ministry of Small Things by Reuben Bredenhof. He wrote about what I consider is my approach to ministry: do the small things. I once pined to be the pastor of a big church and the prestige that came with it. May I say one thing? WHAT A FOOL I WAS! Along with all the headaches that came from being a small town church pastor, I realized those issues would just be magnified. That is why this book so resonated with me. I like doing the small things. I like sending personal notes. At the first of this month, I sent out 135 personal handwritten notes to the families and friends of OVCF to encourage them to BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS. One thing to say: NOT AGAIN! Besides the cost factor, there was the time factor and the hand factor (I think it cramped several times). 🙂 That’s not the first time I did that..but I’m thinking it might be the last. But I digress. It was a small thing and I like to do small things to make people feel loved and wanted.Â
But being the pastor of a small church also has its glitches. (Remember, Gail, I am NOT complaining!!) 🙂 Far from it. Being the pastor of a small church in a small town affords many opportunities for shepherding and being involved in peoples’ lives and feeling their hurts. The following is just some of what has come across my desk JUST THIS WEEK. No names will be mentioned and I will be vague on purpose.Â
My future son-in-law (yes he asked me, asked her, she said yes, and she got a ring) is struggling with the effects of chemo on his stage 4 pancreatic cancer. My heart aches.Â
A young friend who has been fighting cancer for 7 1/2 years…7 1/2 years!!…is struggling and hospice has been called to help his mom. He is not on death’s door, but the struggle is real. His grandfather, one of my best friends, died after a 15 year cancer battle that started in his prostate, just a little over 2 years ago.Â
I had a visitor to my office who shared some really hard news that still has me reeling.Â
A personal health issue that will have ramifications in the future (and which I will share some day) has me wondering how I will do.Â
But then God’s Word reminds me that God gives me what I need to make it through each day. That is what I’m counting on. Today. That’s all I need. Today. Not tomorrow, especially since tomorrow has enough trouble of its own. Why borrow it, you know? 🙂 Besides, I have no clue what tomorrow will bring. Today is what I need to remember. God gives me strength for today.Â
And in spite of it all…I love what I do. I love being a shepherd to “my” people. (Please don’t make a big deal about the “my” I used. I know they are HIS and I am His shepherd. But He did give them to me to watch over). I’ll keep you posted on God’s answer to my “today.” And sorry for the long post. You know those preachers…
That’s good advice. Driver education teachers will tell their students to keep their eyes ahead. “Stare at something and your car will head that way.”Â
Try cutting grass in a straight line while looking backwards, or even to one side. When riding my bike and trying to stay as close to the end line as possible, I have to keep looking ahead. Not to one side or another. Not at the scenery.Â
In 2 Chronicles 20, King Jehoshaphat found himself with three formidable enemy armies approaching him. He was terrified by the news, ordered prayer and fasting, then went to God and stated some now famous words: “We are powerless against this mighty army that is about to attack us. We do not know what to do, but we are looking to You for help.” (v.12).The ESV says, “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on You.” Reading ahead you will see that his faith and trust was rewarded when God routed the armies without Jehoshaphat’s army lifting a finger.Â
Colossians 3:1 tells us to “Set your mind on things above.” Keep looking straight ahead. Don’t get distracted by peripheral issues. Stay focused on Christ.Â
Many of us live in the past. Some long for and celebrate what was. Some long for and dismay at what is missed. Two for instances…
At 73 I can look back and think about what was. I used to ride 20-30 miles a day and think nothing of it. If I did a 20-30 mile day now, it would take me several-maybe a week- to recover. 🙂 I think back to my college years when I accumulated quite a bit of hardware from my basketball days. I never displayed them and about 20 years later they found themselves in a dumpster. I became the father of 2 beautiful young ladies who still pop buttons on my shirt. 🙂 In 2007 I became the pastor of the fantastic church family I am still pastoring. Three years ago I celebrated the 50th year of being married to a fantastic woman.Â
The other extreme is the person tied to the past-good or bad times- and longing for what was. Grief is often the result. Dismayed by what is missed or missing.Â
In that vein, I read the following quote by Pastor John Piper that struck gold this morning:
Occasionally weep deeply over the life you hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Then wash your face. Trust God. And embrace the life you have. (Watching for the Morning-Risner-p.217)
Some things are part of our past-good and bad. We can’t change it. Nor can we bring it back. I sensed God saying this to me this morning: “Heed Pastor John’s word, Bill. Wash your face then move on. You have so much to live for these days! Celebrate them. Rejoice in them! Go with me. Be strong and courageous.”Â
I’ve been reading some (okay…a lot) 🙂 on anger, fear, anxiety, jealousy, mental health, suicide, and other related topics because of a sermon series I plan to preach starting in two weeks and going to the end of September. I have chosen to do a topical series instead of going through a book of the Bible. Relevant topics (as you can see). The sermon scheduled for August 2nd is from Psalm 34, especially verses 8-10:
Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in Him! Fear the Lord, you His godly people, for those who fear Him will have all they need. Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry, but those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing.” (NLT)
As I was reading I Peter 2 as part of my journey through the NT in 2026, I read the following verse: “If you have tasted that the Lord is good.” (v.3-CSB). And as I thought about verses 1-3, I saw a pattern or a path develop. It may just be me but I thought I would share it:
Verse 1- The sin that devastates so many of us. Evil behavior like deceit, hypocrisy, jealousy, and all unkind speech.Â
Verse 2- The desire to change. The CSB (which I am using for my 2026 reading) says, “Like newborn infants, desire the pure milk of the Word, so that you may grow up into your salvation.” We cannot change on our own, nor so we change people. That is God’s business. Only He can do that.Â
Verse 3- How that change happens. We desire God’s Word and in the process we taste and see that the Lord is good. (Psalm 34:8) And as the old song said, “The longer I serve Him the sweeter He grows.”Â
Do you want to change? “Taste and see” is what both Peter and David say to do. “God, please give me a hunger for Your presence and Your Word. Change me as I crave both.”Â
It’s been awhile. My last post was July 1 and at that time I was unsure whether I would ever post again. I’ve given myself some time to reassess my thoughts and have decided to post whenever I feel like I have something worth sharing. There will be (at this point) no more LinkedIn posts. While my views were over 300+, it was not a good place for my head. I began to write what would be acceptable or garner views vs writing from my heart. I’m still not sure how often or how long I will do this, but “ya gotta start somewhere!” I wrote this yesterday:
Mother Teresa is credited with saying,
God did not call me to be successful. He called me to be faithful. (quoted in Watching for the Morning by Risner-p.199)
I have struggled in the past of feeling like a failure. Like I’ve not made or had an impact. Lofty dreams that never panned out. Expectations of me and by me that fell apart. Moving from several churches (3) after being asked to leave. Serving a store front church that no longer exists (and probably never should have. There were 25 people when I went there and 40 when I left 16 months later). Laboring in unknown places (2). And yet God has shown me my usefulness and value and impact in spite of those experiences and feelings of inadequacy. Arrogance often got in the way. I admit that. As did my sin. God has truly taken the mess of my life and redeemed it…in spite of me! 🙂
To finish the thought of MT’s quote (from the same book and devotion):
If you would pray to do great things for your God, then you must pray such prayers with regard for how they should be answered.” (McKelvey- quoted by Risner-p.199)
While my dreams and aspirations didn’t materialize how I wanted them to, they turned out EXACTLY as God would have them. I’ve accepted that and I’m okay with that. I just want to finish well.
It’s been a couple of days since I posted. Yesterday, Gail, one of the ladies who who posts comments regularly, and who is also a member of OVCF, asked me about it. I told her I would explain it all tomorrow (today). But before I do, I’d like to share something from my morning Quiet Time/journal. It comes from Watching for the Morning by Vaneetha Risner- #59. “Watching” is a daily devotional written by a woman who has an incredible story. I would highly recommend this, along with her book, This Wasn’t the Plan (an unexpected divorce). Anyway, here are her thoughts today as she writes about faith being greater than fear, and asks the question, “How?”
Remember God’s faithfulness. Psalm 77
Follow my fear and see where it takes me. Psalm 46
Trust that God will give me the grace I need when I need it. Mt. 6:34; Phil. 4:19
Remember that nothing comes into my life that has not passed through God’s loving hands first. Rom. 8:28
Remember that God is with me. Dt. 3:22; Heb. 13:5b-6
Keep my mind and thoughts on the Lord. Is. 26:3; Phil. 4:8-9. I will add Col. 3:1-4
Pray. 2 Chron. 20:3; Phil. 4:6-7
My thoughts: no matter what happens God will go with me. I have nothing to fear. N.O.T.H.I.N.G. (I made the points personal with “my” or “me” words).
My prayer: “God, be with me as I ride early this morning, as I study, as I interact, as I shepherd. Help me to pass along these thoughts to those who live in fear. Amen.”Â
ANNOUNCEMENT: When Gail said, “You didn’t post today. Or yesterday. She actually missed me! 🙂 I told her the following: I have been blogging since February 20, 2008. I have used my Quiet Time journaling to be the basis for my blogging. Lately, several factors have become apparent. 1) My audience for “Shadow” has dropped off dramatically. At the peak I would often have 15-20 comments on my blog but lately it has been 3-4, sometimes even less. 2) And here is the biggest issue: my journaling has been more about posting on “Shadow” and LinkedIn than recording lessons learned from my relationship to the Father. I have garnered over 500 viewers on LinkedIn, but I have had to ask myself if my journaling is for me and God or for me to share with others. I’ve noticed that my journaling has taken on more of a “social commentary” approach. That is NOT what I want my journaling to be about. 3) I have been spending way too much time reading LinkedIn and caring about my viewers. It is time to stop that nonsense. I am the pastor of a church, and desire not to be a slave to any social media. So, as of today, I am taking “Shadow” on hiatus. I thank all of you who read “Shadow” but don’t comment. I especially thank all of you who do. I may come back, but at this point, that is highly doubtful. If I do, I pray it is with the right heart and spirit. Thanks again for reading my thoughts (for what they are worth). And I do still plan to read other blogs and articles.Â
There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
Words from a revolutionary:
A true revival means nothing less than a revolution, casting out the spirit of worldliness and selfishness, and making God and His love triumph in the heart and life.
There is talk today of a revival taking place, especially among the younger generation. Nothing-NOTHING-would thrill me more! To see lives changed; marriages put back together; demonstrations to cease; hate turned to love; praying for instead of preying upon; grace instead of judgment; sinful lives and lifestyles transformed by the Good News; all the above and more would be worthy of a great big Hallelujah!
But as the first quote says (you can see the source of that quote at the end), “It’s got to happen on the inside first.” No outward change revolutionized anything. Changing our looks, our clothes, our status, our abode-nothing-ever brought about significant and life-long change. Only a change on the inside matters.Â
And only Jesus can do that. No amount of self-help, self-talk, GLP-1, or self-made “changes” will do the trick. 2 Cor. 5:17 says, “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; the new life has begun.” (NLT)
So take it from one revolutionary-THE ORIGINAL- “My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” (John 10:10 NLT)
Remember: It starts on the inside and it’s yours for the taking.Â
{Quote #1: Jim (“Light My Fire” and “People are Strange”) Morrison. Quote #2: Andrew Murray- (South African missionary/pastor 1828-1917). Source of quotes: Jesus Revolution by Laurie/Vaughn-p.13}Â Â
