December 4

Written by Bill Grandi on December 4th, 2024

Learning Journal #5: WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE…

…is dying

…has died

…has a long-term illness

…has dementia or Alzheimer’s

…turns his/her back on their faith

…comes out of the closet sexually

…disowns you or turns against you

…makes bad decisions

As one can imagine, the scenarios would never stop. Those are just the tip of the iceberg.

Funny thing (not ha-ha funny) is that many are either too hard to answer or really have no answer. The hard truth is that sometimes there is no answer, or at least, an easy one. But there are people who think they have the answer. But, generally, they don’t have answers. They have cliches.

  • “God is good all the time; all the time God is good.” I cannot even begin to tell you how annoying that is. Let me use one word: REAL. It’s not that it isn’t true. It is to an extent. But you just don’t go spouting that cliche off to a parent whose child announced he/she is leaving the faith or is seeking gender surgery or cancer has been found. Or a man’s wife stares back at him with no recollection of who he is. Yeah…not good words to say carelessly.
  • “Praise the Lord anyhow!” No. Curse Him is what we really feel like doing. The last thing God wants for us to do is pretend all is well. He will be there as we continue soothing our heart and working through our pain and seeking His will.

You get my drift. Sometimes we are just better off keeping our words and cliches to ourselves. Sometimes all that other person needs is for someone to just show up. Galatians 6:2 says, “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” (NLT)  Doesn’t get much plainer than that.

And you don’t even need to use words.

{Note: if you get a chance check out this post I read the other day. It says it much better than I can}

 

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December 3

Written by Bill Grandi on December 3rd, 2024

Learning Journal #4: VARIABLE SPEED REQUIRED

I am not ADHD- not by a long shot. But I guess I can be mistaken for that occasionally, When I get involved in something, I get involved-sometimes too quickly, too obsessively, and too energetically. This can lead to rash actions (unfortunately) and also hurt feelings.

Case in point: After having the knee replacement on November 11th, I have what could be called “cabin fever.” (It is 11/23 as I write this particular entry). I call it “a desire to get out of the house.” Jo calls it “pushing it.” You can see the source of conflict already without me saying so. Can’t you? I went to my first post-op yesterday (22nd) with the surgeon and his PA gave me some freedom. I can start going to the office. I can go to the Y as long as I’m careful (I can walk and do upper body strength conditioning. Sadly, no bike yet). I immediately began talking about going to the office next week and the Y. That met with resistance even though the PA said I could. Me? I want to dive all the way in.

Jesus told a parable in Matthew 13 about a farmer sowing seed. Some seed fell on hard ground; some on rocky soil; some among thorns; and some on good soil. That second soil is what I have in mind. There are some who hear the Word and it sprouts up. They grow like wildfire. But they grew too fast without getting roots. The plant soon wilts-they soon wilt-because of the heat. I’m eager to get my life back to the way it was. I’m ready to get back all gung-ho. Meanwhile, I have someone putting on the brakes, someone (whom I think) wants to clip my wings. In all honesty, I really do believe she has my best interest in mind. 🙂 I guess there needs to be a happy medium?

BTW: I won’t even tell you when the PA told me I could start driving again, nor will I tell you Jo’s reaction! 🙂 🙂

{Note: I did honor Jo and waited until the 25th to make my first trip to the Y. We attended worship with the church family together on the 24th and left after I had a chance to visit for a few minutes and the music started for the start of the second service (and I used the walker for safety’s sake). I did go to a staff meeting on Wednesday, the 27th.  My first time driving was the 27th}.

FREEDOM!!

 

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December 2

Written by Bill Grandi on December 2nd, 2024

December 2nd! Hard to believe, isn’t it, that Christmas is a mere 23 days away. In the church world, we have already begun preparing for that day. In yesterday’s message, I made a statement that I firmly believe in. It is one, I said, you can drive a nail through. That statement was God remembers His promises; God remembers His people.

Due to a messed up sleep schedule from the knee surgery, as well as rehab appointments in the early morning, I have had to adjust my time when I have my daily devotions. But I have still tried to stay on track each day. For this season, part of my time is using Everyday Gospel Christmas Devotional by Paul David Tripp. Keeping in mind the statement I made yesterday in my message, this is what Tripp’s December 2nd devotion said:

“When I read the story of Abraham and Sarah’s long wait for a promised son, I think of another Son that was promised. The hope of the world rested on the shoulders of this promised Son, but as century followed century, it seemed as though this Son would never come. But one night in a stable in Bethlehem, to a lowly carpenter and his wife the promised Messiah came. Nothing in all of those centuries that has passed was able to stop the promised of God. Jesus, Son of Man, Son of God, the Lamb, the Savior was born at just the right time to provide justification, reconciliation, forgiveness, and new life to all who believe. God’s promises are not limited by human weakness or the passage of time. Don’t give way to fear; God will do what He has promised to do.”

Those words by PDT simply confirm what I said. God remembers His promises; God remembers His people. Long thought forsaken, God’s people had virtually given up looking for their Messiah. But God was not done yet. He brought to fruition every word He ever said; every act He ever did; every feast ever enacted, by the birth of a tiny baby in the city of Bethlehem. God in the flesh, the Messiah, Jesus.

My hope and prayer for you and for me is that the awareness of God’s gift becomes even more alive in us as we celebrate His birth this month.

 

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November 27

Written by Bill Grandi on November 27th, 2024

This will be my last Learning Journal entry for this week. I’m going to do tomorrow what we all should be doing: laying aside our devices, our social media fetish, and our “all things tech” obsession and spend time with family and friends. I have some more Learning Journal entries written and will just carry them over to next week. Here is Learning Journal entry #3: SLOW AND STEADY.

One week before my surgery, one of the teenage girls in the church family had hip surgery. Some of it was from birth (her hip socket was not round and each time she ran or rotated that hip friction and erosion happened), and some of it was from a TKD opponent in class who did what he was not supposed to do-grab a kick and twist her. Anyway, she has hip surgery and one week later mine followed.

She has a blog she writes on Substack (carefully monitored by her parents…yay for them!) and in one of her posts she talked about slow and steady. I commented that slow and steady is most definitely the road back to health. I know for myself I have experienced some frustration after exercising religiously and therapy that it is not progressing as quickly as I would like.

Slow and steady. These exercises hurt. Slow and steady. I don’t want to use the walker. Slow and steady. Get me that cane! Slow and steady. I’d sure like to go to the office. Slow and steady. I want to drive. Slow and steady. I want to go to the Y. Slow and steady.

Sort of reminds me of the Christian walk. When a person come to Christ, no one should expect a spiritual giant in a week. Least of all, that person himself/herself. And yet, we sometimes get frustrated because we aren’t moving as fast we we want or think we should. Slow and steady are the words to keep in mind. Plus…give yourself some grace!! 🙂

Another factor to keep in mind is we will not always be on an upward trajectory. Ups and downs. Plateaus. Spurts and stops are all a part of the growth process. I’m reminded of the words of Colossians 2:6-7: “And now, just as you accepted Christ as Lord…Let your roots grow down into Him, and let your lives be built on Him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.” (NLT) These verses are a reminder that life in Christ is a slow growth process. Roots don’t grow deep overnight.

Sort of like slow and steady.

 

 

 

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November 26

Written by Bill Grandi on November 26th, 2024

I am continuing my Learning Journal with lessons I learned and am learning. The first installment was yesterday. You can check that out here. This is Learning Journal #2.

Have you ever noticed how some things never move as quickly as you want them to? Then again, sometimes time flies. The old adage “Time flies when you are having fun” might apply to life from time to time but not so much healing.

I’ve been in a holding/waiting period for almost 2 weeks (Nov. 11th surgery). Slowly I’ve watched the days go by as I’ve been very limited as to what I can do. Therapy. Ice. Doze off. Ice. Read. Doze off. Burning pain at time that would stop a horse (I’m guessing). I’m sitting in the surgeon’s waiting room (Friday, the 22nd) as I write this, now waiting for his PA to come in.

Waiting seems to be a staple in our lives. I don’t know about you, but I have very little patience for waiting in line, especially at WalMart or Kroger when they have 10 registers but only one open. I’m not one to jump on the bandwagon of self-checkout.

But in all seriousness, waiting is lauded in the Bible as a good thing. One of the most well-known, most well-loved, and most memorized Scripture is Isaiah 40:28-31. Verse 31 says, “But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” (NLT) The word for “trust” is the word “wait.” We might use the word “rely on” or “lean on.”

Truthfully, God doesn’t act at human speed. Sometimes He is much slower; sometimes He is much faster. The hardest thing is to wait. You have probably heard the old adage I’m sure: “God is seldom early, but He’s never late.” So…wait, loved one. Wait.

{Note: As you can see I wrote this last week. Things have changed since that day. My therapy is moving ahead and I have more freedom. Thanks for your prayers}.

 

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November 25

Written by Bill Grandi on November 25th, 2024

In my November 4th post, I wrote about reading Wisdom Hunter. One of the other ideas I gleaned from the book was something I decided to implement during my recovery from surgery. I’ve been trying to come up with a catchy name for my ramblings/musings/reflections but have not had much success. I decided to call my writings my “Learning Journal.” Perhaps one of my reflections will strike home. I’m writing these entries over several days. I will write, take a break, and write some more. I’m writing them as I’m thinking of them so they are in no special order. I’m not assigning one as more important than another.

Learning Journal Entry #1: Pain is not equal.

I have been in pain before-a neck operation from a dog taking me down on my bike. Back surgery after being hit by a car and going over the handlebars of my bike 3 months later. Broken collarbone, 3 broken ribs, bruised ribs, and road rash as a result of the previously mentioned handlebar incident. A totally unrelated back surgery due to arthritis in my spine in 2022, and others. But the pain from this knee replacement was a notch, maybe many notches, above any I’ve experienced before. I was prescribed and told Oxycodone would help greatly, but said No. I was afraid of it. There were a few times I broke down. Of the 45 pills subscribed I have taken 6, even though they say to take it every 4 hours. I thought I would a hard case and not take them. That may not have been the smartest thing I have ever done. I did get nauseated a couple of times I used them so I used that as a motivator. I HATE nausea.

We all go through pain-some more and stronger than others. Don’t negate the pain-yours or others. Don’t dwell on it either. Above all, be careful of comparing pain, i.e. “mine is worse than yours.” Pain is pain. Don’t get impatient with another because it seems to be taking them longer to process it. Just be there for them. Pain is a lesson-giver. Extreme pain is a wake up call. In 2 Cor. 12 Paul suffered from what he called a “thorn in the flesh.” Each time he asked for its removal he was told, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” (v.9) (NLT) Paul learned to not complain about his pain, but instead to allow God’s power to work in and through him.

No matter how brutal the pain; no matter how long-lasting the pain; no matter how far-reaching the pain, learn from it. Just remember all pain is not equal.

 

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November 21

Written by Bill Grandi on November 21st, 2024

In the previous post (November 20) I referenced Erwin Lutzer’s book, The Eclipse of God, where he stated there were 3 gravediggers who built a coffin for God. A quick recap:

Gravedigger #1- Karl Marx: An Attack on God as Ruler.

Gravedigger #2- Charles Darwin: An Attack on God as Creator.

And today’s- Gravedigger #3-Sigmund Freud:An Attack Against God as Lawgiver. Freud saw a belief in God as a fantasy. Freud made his own rules. His real fantasy was sex, sex, and more sex. No holds-barred sex. Sex of all kinds. One of his disciples was Alfred Kinsey, a bisexual who interviewed sex offenders, child molesters, and sexual assaulters for his “Kinsey Report.” I remember hearing about that as a young pastor but was clueless as to its meaning or impact. This man is S.I.C.K. He even believed child rape poses no problem for children! SICK and WRONG! So very wrong.

The satanic spawn of the gravediggers attempts to destroy God can be found in 3 philosophies. I’m sure you have heard of: Communism, Nazism, and Fascism. We have certainly seen the children of those beliefs.

What does this all mean for we who are Christ-followers? We need to stop play-acting. We need to stop posing as Christians. We need to become real Christ-followers. For the record: I see a distinct difference between calling oneself a Christian and one being a Christ-follower. More than anything else, this world needs to see genuine followers of Jesus.

 

 

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November 20

Written by Bill Grandi on November 20th, 2024

I wrote this and after finishing realized it was way too long for a one-off post. So this will actually be Part 1 and tomorrow I will post Part 2.

During my rehab (which is still ongoing), I finished reading The Eclipse of God by Erwin Lutzer. Mr. Lutzer is a retired pastor and at the age of  83 I am not sure if I know anyone who has his finger on the pulse of our culture more than him. I have NEVER been disappointed in any of his books (I have about 5-6 of them). They are insightful, thought-provoking, and IMHO spot on. This one is no exception.

However, this is not a book review. The basic premise of this book is “our nation’s disastrous search for a more inclusive deity (and what we must do about it)”. {Note: front cover subtitle}

What I found especially beneficial-and it sets the foundation for his analysis-is that he lists 3 gravediggers who prepared a coffin for God and we are paying that price today. Those 3 gravediggers are Karl Marx, Charles Darwin, and Sigmund Freud. With the limited space I have, I’m just going to give Pastor Lutzer’s main points and add a few thoughts of my own.

Gravedigger #1: The Theology of Karl Marx-At Attack on God as Ruler.  To Marx, religion was worthless. He believed religion arose because men needed a purpose, and so he created the idea of God. There is much more to his philosophy, but let’s just ask this question: How is his system working out? Let me give you common thoughts and words that illustrate his philosophy: “Defund the police.” DEI (Diversity, Equity, Inclusion). CRT. Abolishing the importance of family (including taking decisions out of the hands of parents). At the core is a hatred for religion. A disciple of Marx’s philosophy is Nietzche (“God is dead”).

Gravedigger #2: The Theology of Charles Darwin-An Attack on God as Creator. Darwin said, “Science has nothing to do with Christ.” One bitter fruit from his philosophy is the more one applies Darwinism, the more racist one becomes. His theory led to eugenics (you decide characteristics, appearance, get rid of the “undesirables,” etc) which leads to his beliefs that there are “doubtful species.” Talk about racism! Darwinism spawned Mein Kampf, written by the ultimate racist, Adolph Hitler.

You can see the outcome of these first two gravediggers. Just look at the disciples. Look at the resulting, more common thoughts we have been dealing with over the past few years. Gravedigger #3 will post tomorrow.

 

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November 18

Written by Bill Grandi on November 18th, 2024

It’s been a week since I last wrote in “Shadow.” You can go back to November 11 to see I had a full knee replacement. I thought I would use my time today to bring you up to date.

The surgery went well. Least they tell me it did. I don’t remember a thing about it. That has got to be one of the greatest things about anesthesia. To go to sleep (I don’t even remember being wheeled out of the room) and to wake back up in the room like I traveled through time is a dream. I went home just an hour or so later. They did more than just the knee; he also straightened my bowed leg. To do that he had to move ligaments and tendons and told Tami “I would be sore, but in 6 months I will feel great!” I’ll take his word for it! 🙂

I did rehab exercises at home (over my body’s protest) every day and my first post-op rehab was Thursday. He said I was at 98% with my knee bent. My weakness was straightening the back part of my knee toward the table. A lot of that was the hamstrings were tight from cycling. So a lot of my rehab is working on that. I am doing that twice a day at home.

I find myself cat-napping during the day since I don’t sleep well at night. I’m up walking the house 3-4 times per night. Tami tells me she can hear the creaking of the walker.  🙂

The folks of the church have been phenomenal. We have had no lack of food, and I have been receiving texts every day from people wishing me well; that they are thinking of me and praying for me; and asking if there is anything they can do. I am getting a real chance to see the church family from another viewpoint…and it looks good!!

I have more rehab this morning and Wednesday morning with a surgery follow-up on Friday morning. I’ll keep you posted. My plan is to visit the office for a short period today to have a staff meeting. Meanwhile, please keep the prayers coming.

 

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Guest Post-Ryan Spires

Written by Bill Grandi on November 13th, 2024

It was around 2007 that I met Ryan, Amanda, Dominick, Keegan and Aleah Spires. They had moved into the area from Nashville, TN and had begun a correspondence with one of the men in the church. Chris was the administrator of our church website. After their first visit, we went to Chicago’s Pizza in Elletsville (where they were living) and a friendship began to develop that still stands today. They have moved to Martinsville, IN, about 30-40 miles away, but we still try to get together for a meal. Sometimes Ryan and I have ridden bikes together.  Dominick has recently married. Keegan has moved near Indianapolis to work. Aleah is pursuing a college degree while working at Starbucks. So their household has changed. What hasn’t changed is our friendship. In fact, we got together just this past Friday night for supper. Sadly, Texas Roadhouse was so busy the wait was 55 minutes with no parking spots available! We went just down the road to Cheddars. But the best part of the evening was the laughter we shared.

When I mentioned that I would be posting guest posts while I was rehabbing from my knee replacement surgery, Ryan submitted the following. He told me I could post it…or not. As if…

As I finished up reading Chapter 18, titled “Counted As Warriors” from Brent Henderson’s book The Roar Within, Brent provides a laundry list of emotions, feelings, and thoughts that the enemy had been shooting at him during a low time in his life.   As I read the list, I could see myself clearly writing most of the same.  I even added a few additional.  Satan likes to take the truth and twist it just enough to make it sound like it is plausible.   This is his standard operating procedure and has been that way since the garden. 

How often does he do that with me, with us?  Perhaps he twists the truth enough to believe a little white lie is not all that harmful.   Perhaps he twists the truth enough to justify our negative reaction to our spouse’s or kid’s actions.  Perhaps he twists the truth enough to make us believe that we are to worthless, too sinful, too shameful, too hurt, too broken, too <fill in the blank> to make a difference… So we stop.

The list Brent shared includes items like disappointment, worthless, divorced, unable to please. I added a few of my own: weak, unsupportive, lazy, hypocritical, numb.

I am sure we all have a list of lies we have believed or currently believing. So what do we say when we counter the lies from the enemy and shoot right back with arrows from God’s word? Jesus didn’t simply come up with some nifty self-help quotes when tempted by Satan.  He didn’t try harder, buckle down, and push forward.  He used scripture. 

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10

So what should we believe?  We should believe that God loves us UNCONDITIONALLY.  I know we can rattle off the phrase that He gave His only son for us… but let us not take that lightly.   I don’t know anyone on this earth that I would sacrifice my children for.   

Because of our Father’s sacrifice, I am now a CHOSEN and ADOPTED CHILD of the Living God.  I have a purpose and a reason for being.  Not because of what I have done, but because of who God is and what HE did for me.   I have worth and value in my Father’s eyes and I must never forget that.

Good words here. It is so important for everyone of us to remember that we are important and valued in God’s sight. It is also important for us to not listen to the lies of the enemy.  Thanks Ryan for your “heart words.” Do you have something you would like to share with others on this site? I would be glad to include it during my time of recovering. 

BTW: they say Day #3 and #4 are the worst. I’ll let you know. 🙂

 

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