Written by Bill Grandi on August 26th, 2024
We all want validation. We all want to know we matter. We all want to know that what we do is important or at least makes a difference. We have no doubt some people make a difference. Consider history: electricity. The phone. The light bulb. The car. You name it. How shocked Henry Ford would be today to see cars in more colors that basic black. But his name goes down in history-not for his comment about the color of cars, but for his invention. The story is told of Alfred Nobel having a life “awakening.” A newspaper erroneously published that he had died (not his brother) and it applauded him for his invention of dynamite and other explosives. It shocked him so much he established the Nobel Peace Prize. He wanted to be known more for peace than blowing things up and taking lives.
Tragically, there are many who never consider their legacy. We are so hungry getting validation from the people around us that we stop getting it from God. We live for the pat on the back, the “atta boy,” that we find ourselves doing what is popular instead of what is right. We seek the here-and-now instead of the eternal. We settle for what feels good in the moment rather than what is going to matter in eternity.
Jesus said it this way: “A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. A tree is identified by its fruit…A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.” (Luke 6:43-44a, 45 NLT)
What we do flows out of what is in our heart. What will you be known for?
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Tags: Choices, Christian Living, Kindness, Leadership, Legacy, Lifestyle, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection, Scripture look, Story
Written by Bill Grandi on August 22nd, 2024
Affirmation and confirmation. Two peas in the same pod and yet, they can stand alone.
Many people cannot live their lives without one or the other and sometimes both. The subtle difference between the two is just that…very subtle. Affirmation seems to be more mental, i.e. “you like who I am and what I am doing so say something that will affirm me.” Confirmation is an approval that I have chosen the better road to take. That may be as clear as mud to you but perhaps I can use a biblical story to illustrate that.
In Mark 10: 35-45 is the story of James and John asking Jesus to grant that one of them sit on His right hand and the other on His left. I think it is significant that Jesus didn’t rebuke them. Instead, He used it as a teaching moment for His disciples. He could have kicked them, read them the right act, belittled them in front of their friends, or something demeaning. He did nothing of the kind. Instead, as I said, He used it as a teaching moment.
Here it is: Glory isn’t gained through ruling but through serving, by taking the lowest place, not the highest.
Many times we do things to receive accolades, which in turn, gives us affirmation. If we don’t get that affirmation we are paralyzed-sometimes with demeaning thoughts we dream up ourselves or simply saying things like “They don’t appreciate me. They take me for granted.” We crave those pats on the back. They are our bread and butter. And here’s the thing: when we don’t get the affirmation it often handcuffs us into inaction. I’m convinced that when that happens we are doomed, not as in dead, but into inaction. We aren’t so sure any more of the direction we have chosen to go in.
Here’s another thought: as a follower of Christ I should not be tied to people’s affirmation of me as a sign of acceptance and approval. It has been said that “worship is an audience of One.” Perhaps living our lives each day should come down to that as well. I should not need the affirmation and approval of others to do God’s work. As the servant love of Jesus captures us, we delight to pursue true greatness by being a servant, not by seeking the “right seat.”
We all long to live commendable and significant lives. No one wants to be sidelined. What we need to decide is will I live for the affirmation and approval of others, or for the abiding peace knowing I have God’s affirmation. That should be enough.
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Tags: Acceptance, Affirmation, Approval, Christian Living, God, Humility, Jesus, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection, Scripture look
Written by Bill Grandi on August 21st, 2024
I’m thinking this morning about control. In a moment I’ll tell you why, but first let’s consider what I mean.
Control can be seen in a variety of ways-both good and bad:
- An employer “controls” the atmosphere at work by the way an employee(s) are treated.
- A parent “controls” the behavior of a child by certain “rules of the house” that are to be obeyed.
- A teacher “controls” the classroom by threats or by a little black book with check marks for daily actions.
- A coach “controls” the team by extra practice or punishment for work not done or plays not run.
- Churches or pastors “control” their church by rules and regulations.
It is the latter that concerns me. Last night I spent considerable time on the phone with a couple struggling with the legalism and “control tactics” of his parents. Scriptures taken out of context were being used to demean and undermine them and their marriage. The parents live several states away and belong to a cult that uses control to force submission on people. Hence the control tactics of the parents. The details are not important at the moment but suffice it to say that laying the guilt on thick is one of their tactics. Rules and regulations taken out of context are used to manipulate control over others. They were seeking guidance on how to handle the newest slam by the parents.
One characteristic of control is a pastor or a church using rules and regulations of their own making to control the narrative. If they can get a person to live up to their rules-go to church, tithe, dress a certain way, etc-the control factor is big. Sadly, a person’s commitment to Christ is judged on keeping their rules. What they really have is law, not grace. What we really have is a perversion of the Gospel.
Jesus once said, “These people honor me with their lips but their hearts are far from me. Their worship is a farce, for they teach man-made ideas as commands from God.” (Mk.7:6-6 NLT) (And yes, I am a heretic because I didn’t quote the King James Bible).
All Jesus said was “Love me first.” That’s it! Love Him first. Not “Keep these rules and I will know you love me.” Love Him first. ‘Nuff said.
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Tags: Christian Living, Church, God's Word, Legalism, Lifestyle, Opinion, Reflection, Scripture look
Written by Bill Grandi on August 20th, 2024
One of the essential beliefs of a life of grace and truth is the overwhelming truth that grace can’t be earned. Whether one is talking about God’s grace for us or one person’s grace toward another, it cannot be earned.
The Bible consistently speaks of God’s grace toward us. One of the greatest is found in Ephesians 2, perhaps one of the most familiar and impactful: “God saved you by His grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.” (Ephesians 2:8-9 NLT)
God’s grace cannot be earned, brought, or bargained for. Those verses are clear: grace is freely given.
Grace also comes into play in our relationships with others. There are some who work hard to impress, to “earn” the approval of another. There are also those who, sadly, keep score. It’s almost like they have a tablet in their hand keeping tabs on every good and bad thing that has been done. It’s almost like the “Love me, Loves me not” scenario. Too many bad check marks and that other person is cast out of our acceptance circle. Check marks to the good bring acceptance and even “love.” It’s interesting that one of the characteristics of love given in I Cor. 13 is “Love doesn’t keep score.” Another translation says, “Love keeps no record of wrongs.”
People filled with grace and love stop collecting tickets. They stop asking if they have collected enough and they stop asking if someone else has collected enough. Let’s stop keeping score-of ourselves and of someone else.
Grace and love are freely given. It is not earned. And it certainly isn’t a result of or offered as a reward from coming out on the “win” side of the score card.
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Tags: Christian Living, Faith/Feelings, God's Plan, Grace, Jesus, Love, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection, Score keeping, Scripture look, Story
Written by Bill Grandi on August 19th, 2024
A nationwide network of a haven for at risk kids is called Safe Place. There is a sign we are asked to display that if a young person is ever in trouble, needs shelter from a “pesky” adult or predator or simply needs a place to “get their head together” that sign says, “Here is a place for you to find refuge. A safe place.” The church I pastor has been a part of that network for years. We have never had a young person show up and yet, if one did and was given a safe place, it is well worth it.
A church should be a safe place. I like to call it a PLACE OF GRACE. Someone has said, “The church is to be a hospital for sinners, not a rest home for saints.” I wonder if that is what Bob Goff had in mind when he wrote these words:
We actually build castles all the time, out of our jobs and our families and the things we’ve purchased. Sometimes we even make them out of each other…You see, castles have moats to keep creepy people out, but kingdoms have bridges to let everyone in. Castles have dungeons for people who have messed up, but kingdoms have grace. There’s one last thing castles have-trolls. You’ve probably met a couple.” (Everybody, Always-p.41)
Church should be a place where people can go to find safety. I was visiting with someone yesterday who has one year of sobriety under his belt. Yeah for him! Even though coming to church has not been on his radar that often, he knows he needs to be there and he knows he is welcome and accepted there. He has a friend who stopped going to church (he was going even though he tends to be an agnostic) because supposedly where he was going the pastor said something against the lifestyle of his daughter. Whether it is true or not, I don’t know. Neither did the man I was talking to. But I was pleased when he said, “But they are welcome at OVCF! You have always said that.” True on both counts. I reiterated that I may not agree with a person’s lifestyle and if asked would be honest, but would never ask that person to not come or to leave.
Why? Because church is a place for sinners…like me. It is a place of grace. It is a safe place where people can come to find help and love, a kingdom not a castle. There is much more to say on this topic but that is for another time. Until then, be a safe place for a person seeking solace and answers or simply needs to come in from out of the cold.
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Tags: Christian Living, Church, Grace, Love, Mercy, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection
Written by Bill Grandi on August 15th, 2024
Knee Replacement Day.
We have special days we remember:
- Valentine’s Day- Remember Love
- Easter- Remember the Resurrection
- Memorial Day- Remember the Fallen
- June 16, 1973- Remember Wedding Day (better not for forget that one!)
- Independence Day- Remember Freedom
- Labor Day- Remember Work
- October 9, 1952- Greatest Day (birthday) 🙂 (I’m a legend in my own mind)
- Veteran’s Day- Remember Veterans
- Thanksgiving Day- Remember Gratitude
- Christmas Day- Remember Jesus’ Birth
And now a new one for me to remember: November 11th-Knee Replacement Day
After years of running and jumping playing baseball and basketball (and believing I could still jump and play like I used to); after soon-to-be 72 years of a bowed right leg getting worse as I aged; after meniscus surgery at age 61; after arthritis in that same knee; after 4 injections (3 steroid and one hyaluronic acid) with the last steroid barely lasting weeks; after days and night of discomfort; after times of painful walking and feeling like it was going to was going to give out and put me on my face…it’s time.
I know it’s necessary, but after visiting the PA yesterday for a preliminary exam and talking, it will be no walk in the park (pun intended).
Interesting, isn’t it, how we remember days? Day of infamy. Days of celebration. Day of intense joy. Days of deep sorrow. God has given us an incredible ability to remember, to learn, to grow from every experience. Don’t waste a moment. Don’t waste an experience. Learn. Grow. Psalm 29:1 says, “Honor the Lord, you heavenly beings; honor the Lord for His glory and strength. Honor the Lord for the glory of His name. Worship the Lord in the splendor of His holiness.” (NLT)
Celebrate special moments. But in those special moments, honor Him.
Posted in InTheShadow | 12 Responses »
Tags: God, Humility, Opinion, Reflection, Remembrance, Story, Thanksgiving, Worship
Written by Bill Grandi on August 14th, 2024
The gift of forgiveness is one of, if not the greatest gift we can give someone…AND OURSELVES.
Many years ago I was meeting with a group of elders in a public restaurant. Another man had asked if he could join us and one of the men said Yes. After a chatty and lighthearted lunch, this man man launched into a vindictive and accusatory castigation of me and my ministry. He asked accusatory questions (not moral ones) about my time and what I did with it. (I did not answer him since it was none of his business). More questions. And then his coup de grace was telling me I should resign and move back to Ohio. Then, as was his modus operandi after a making a scene, he got up and left. I was not the only one who sat in stunned silence. I broke the ice and simple asked one question, a question that would seal what I would decide to do. I asked them if they agreed with him and did they want me to resign. “If you do,” I said, “You have my resignation today. I will not work with men who do not support me. I will not put up with such groundless accusations.” To a man they said, “No.” They all felt he was way off base and the man who approved him coming apologized never expecting that. They proved it the next meeting when he showed up (thanks to the yes from the same man who thought he was going to apologize). Instead, he came loaded for bear and made the same proposition: “Move back to Ohio where you belong.” They said after he left (again the same way), “Absolutely not.”
Several factors came into play. First, he was ticked off that his proposed building project that would have cost in the $5-600k range was rejected by the leadership. (Good thing too since factors soon took place that changed the trajectory of our direction).
Second, and more importantly, what was I going to do? You may find this hard to believe but I chose the path of forgiveness. I have seen enough lives ruined by refusing to forgive than I care to talk about. Marriages have crumbled; friendships have fallen apart never to be repaired; churches split; physical infirmities as a result of holding a grudge; all as a result of refusing to forgive.
I chose to forgive. I greeted him with outstretched hand and a smile. I asked him to help out with things (but was turned down). Why? Not because I’m a super saint. Far from it. My natural instinct was to defend myself. Instead, I tried to practice Colossians 3:12-13- “Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Was I perfect in it? Nope. There were times I struggled with my anger and emotions. There were times I wanted to tell others and have them defend me, i.e. boost my ego. I also knew this: the failure to forgive makes us that person’s slave. They own us. We hurt no one but ourselves when we refuse to forgive.
I have no idea how he feels, even to this day. But I know how I feel. Not vindicated. Not holier-than-thou. I do feel peace. I am not suffering from poor health from holding a grudge. And I do know Jesus stands even taller in my eyes when I read that He said, “Father, forgive them, they don’t know what they are doing.” He had it much rougher than me, that’s for sure.
What about you? Are you carrying a grudge you need to dump? Are you seeking to get even? Dump it. Excuse my French: IT. AIN’T. WORTH. IT!
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Tags: Choices, Christian Living, Forgiveness, God's Plan, God's Word, Grace, Humility, Jesus, Love, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection, Scripture look, Story
Written by Bill Grandi on August 13th, 2024
Random thoughts from my early morning reading to get you thinking:
I wish I did it more often: As a pastor I speak a lot of words-some unsolicited (Hmmmmm), some as part of a conversation, and some much-needed and appreciated. Words of encouragement. Words of guidance. And sometimes…sometimes…words of wisdom. 🙂 It goes without saying that I don’t always have the right answer or, in fact, the right anything. But sometimes I say the right thing to fit the occasion or the person’s need. Proverbs 25:11 says, “Timely advice is lovely, like golden apples in a silver basket.” (NLT) The ESV translates that verse as “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.”
Will my words be remembered for the hope, direction, encouragement and wisdom they gave? Now THAT is something to think about!
On faith: I’ve always been intrigued by the story in Mark 9 of the father with the demon-possessed son and his encounter with Jesus. When Jesus comes on the scene, His disciples have been unable to cast a demon out of a young boy. The father than asks Jesus to do it. The exchange is what intrigues me:
- Jesus: “How long has this been happening?”
- Father: “Since he was a little boy…Have mercy on us and help us, IF YOU CAN.” (emphasis mine)
- Jesus: “What do you mean ‘If I can?’ Anything is possible if a person believes.”
- Father: “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”
Jesus then heals the boy by casting out the demon. The issue is not casting out the demon but the man’s faith. My way of seeing this is like the man is saying (using a ruler as an example), “I have 5 inches of faith. Make it 12 inches.” Simplistic I know. But the man is simply saying, “What I have I bring. Help me have greater faith.” Jesus obliged.
Warning: this is not a name-it claim-it example. It is simply an example of Jesus’ ability to do the miraculous even if all we have is a mustard seed of faith. Bring what we have and trust.
There is more from Mark 9 to chat about but maybe another day. I’ll simply say, “Think on these things.”
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Tags: Christian Living, Faith/Feelings, Faith/Trust, God's Plan, Mercy, Ministry, Opinion, Perseverance, Prayer, Reflection, Scripture look, Speech
Written by Bill Grandi on August 12th, 2024
Many people look at a pastor and I can almost guarantee certain things are going through their head. Once they get over the idea/shock of “Aaaah, a pastor!” (picture Kevin in Home Alone when he puts on After Shave for the first time) certain thoughts will probably go through their head. Not all and not all at the same time, but there are certain preconceived ideas people have. Here are just a few of them:
- We are soft and don’t know what it means to work hard. I beg to differ on that. I may not work physically like a laborer or wrestle with kids all day, but mental tiredness is nothing to shake a stick at. Plus, have you ever tried to wrestle with cranky and cantankerous old people? 🙂 (Not that I have any at the moment). {Note: the whole COVID thing did a number on many pastors. They still haven’t recovered mentally.}
- We only work one day a week. (Sort of like teachers only work 9 months and have 3 months off for vacation). I had someone tease me about that just yesterday. I laughed. He knows better. Actually, I asked him if he was jealous. 🙂
- We never have bad thoughts, get angry, have our feelings hurt, or want to tell someone off. (No comment).
- We have it all together spiritually; spend our days reading our Bible, praying, reading books, and studying.
It is that latter one that is so far off track I hate to say how far. I’m almost ashamed to admit it is so not true. And the biggest culprit of all is my prayer life. Each morning I get up, shower, dress (hooray for that), then have about an hour of what is called by some a “Quiet Time.” A few years ago I started calling it my “Encounter Time” because that is what I want it to be. Honestly? Sometimes it is and sometimes it is not.
Especially when it comes to my prayer life. There are mornings my prayer time is spot on. Others not so. I can tell when I have been negligent or less that consistent. My public prayer-from the pulpit, in a gathering, at the bedside in a hospital to name a few-seem more mechanical than heartfelt. Words come out of my mouth, but they bypass my heart.
Prayer was important to Jesus. He would often get away and go off by Himself to pray. He would pray for wisdom, like when He chose His 12 followers. He would pray when He was seeking solace. He prayed when He was tired and needed to just get away. He prayed when rejected and needed a recharge. He prayed for courage (Garden of Gethsemane). He prayed to surrender.
The question that haunts me is this: if Jesus though it that important, why should I think of it any less? OUCH!
So…how is your prayer life these days?
Posted in InTheShadow | 12 Responses »
Tags: Christian Living, Jesus, Lifestyle, Ministry, Opinion, Pastor, Quiet Time, Reflection, Story
Written by Bill Grandi on August 8th, 2024
Have you ever noticed “Tell no one what I’ve done” does not seem to be common today? It is rarely spoken. Just the opposite really. Many/most want their exploits plastered all over and shouted from the rooftops. There are, of course, times when we wish our deeds were unknown. But that is a topic for another time. 🙂
There is a proverb that says, “Let someone else praise you, not your own mouth-a stranger, not your own lips.” (Proverbs 27:2 NLT). Simply put: Don’t toot your own horn. That’s a good practice to follow. A fun movie to watch is The Incredibles. Mr. Incredible is a “retired” superhero now doing insurance, but it is dull and mundane. He never loses his desire to be Mr. Incredible again and he begins to daydream by drawing costumes. For some reason, he wants a cape. But Edna-the designer of costumes-says, “No cape” then shows him vignettes of superheroes having trouble because of capes. Capes are dangerous. One doesn’t need a cape to be a superhero. Actions speak louder than capes.
Capes are unnecessary. What got me thinking of this was my reading this morning from Mark 5. Jairus comes to Jesus asking for help for his dying daughter. Sandwiched between Him saying, “Yes” and the actual event, is the woman who approached Jesus to stop an issue of blood. By the time Jesus gets to Jairus’ daughter she has died. He raises her to life and then tells the parents, “Tell no one.” Yeah right. How do you keep silent about something so miraculous? Jesus didn’t need or want a cape. He just did. And each time He told someone, “Tell no one” most often they did anyway. We aren’t told what Jairus and his wife did. I’m sure they fed their daughter as Jesus told them to do, but I have this sneaking suspicion they told a whole bunch of people. Certainly those who were mourners and laughed at Jesus when He said she was just sleeping let it be known.
Truly humble people-ones I admire-are those who don’t toot their own horn. There is something that happens inside when a deed is done for another without fanfare. The Bible calls it “not letting your right hand know what your left hand is doing.”
It also means not wearing a cape.
Posted in InTheShadow | 8 Responses »
Tags: Christian Living, Generosity, Humility, Kindness, Lifestyle, Mercy, Ministry, Opinion, Reflection, Scripture look, Story, Superhero
